mermaid with feet: tales, tunes, and travels

Mermaid vs Whale: A Commentary on Body Shapes

2012-01-22T23:27:00.000-05:00

This post has been a long time coming. I've just been having this sit in my "Drafts" area. But I wanted to give this enough thought, and really I needed time to give I enough thought.

I saw this post on Facebook a while back with the accompanying photo.

French model Tara Lynn
A while back, at the entrance of a gym, there was a picture of a very thin and beautiful woman. The caption was "This summer, do you want to be a mermaid or a whale?"

The story goes, a woman (of clothing size unknown) answered the following way:

"Dear people, whales are always surrounded by friends (dolphins, seals, curious humans), they are sexually active and raise their children with great tenderness.
They entertain like crazy with dolphins and eat lots of prawns. They swim all day and travel to fantastic places like Patagonia, the Barents Sea or the coral reefs of Polynesia.
They sing incredibly well and sometimes even are on cds. They are impressive and dearly loved animals, which everyone defend and admires.

Mermaids do not exist.

But if they existed, they would line up to see a psychologist because of a problem of split personality: woman or fish?
They would have no sex life and could not bear children.
Yes, they would be lovely, but lonely and sad.
And, who wants a girl that smells like fish by his side?

Without a doubt, I'd rather be a whale.

At a time when the media tells us that only thin is beautiful, I prefer to eat ice cream with my kids, to have dinner with my husband, to eat and drink and have fun with my friends.

We women, we gain weight because we accumulate so much wisdom and knowledge that there isn't enough space in our heads, and it spreads all over our bodies.
We are not fat, we are greatly cultivated.
Every time I see my curves in the mirror, I tell myself: "How amazing am I ?! "

Okay....did you get all that?

I feel like this is one of those stories where 1 person shares it, and it becomes a friend's story, then it becomes a friend of a friend's story, then it becomes someone my friend knows' story. But with the power of Facebook, this happens much faster. Now, I'm about to take this apart, piece by piece.

The Gym
Let me first address this alleged sign an alleged gym allegedly posted. I think it was a horrible horrible analogy, and I'm sure we can agree on that. The fact that it plays on the negative body image as well as the issue of name-calling is just straight up bullying...and you're talking to the girl who goes to early-morning bootcamp workouts. While I guess one could say that this would help bring the gym more customers, it might not bring any real results because the gym is promoting a negative self-image to begin with.

The Woman's Response
Now let me address the alleged response from this alleged woman. You know, I don't think that putting down the other group makes you better. People come in all shapes and sizes. Some people's bodies are naturally skinny, while some people's bodies are naturally thicker. Nothing wrong with either as long as they're being healthy. Whales look the way they are because that's how they have evolved, not because they think their curves are sexy (though, I guess I don't want to speak for the whales...).

Also, "who wants a girl that smells like a fish by his side"? Really? She's just as guilty at promoting a negative self-image by making women more self-conscious about how they smell. The whole smelling like fish thing really isn't helping. Fact: any unusual odor is caused by bacteria or lack thereof...in your armpits and your vagina. Does she realize how many women are already so self-conscious about their vaginas? So self-conscious that it might prevent them from becoming intimate with a partner? Why make it worse?

The woman goes on to specify that if they did exist that they would have emotional and mental problems, and they would be lonely because they would be unable to bear children. But in so many stories, mermaids are part of a family. Shape surely doesn't define how satisfied one is with their life or how social they are.

Shape can reflect the health of a person, but being extremely thin or extremely obese are (obviously) extremes that are not desired. It's so cliche, but moderation is really a good way to go about it.

Mermaid vs Whale
As a fan of ocean creatures and mythical creatures, it's weird to me that this comparison has happened and then was propagated in that woman's response. Who says that a mermaid has to be super skinny? Who decided this? Being that they are mythical creatures, it doesn't seem fair to decide that they look one way versus another.

Don't get me wrong. Being that I've got curves, I definitely favor a more curvy shape in my mermaids. But that's a personal opinion. Some people don't like whales or mermaids, and that's okay.

But using them for the purposes of making women feel less beautiful seems like an unfair and unproductive thing indeed.

2012!!! Goals and Reflections

2012-01-01T00:00:00.000-05:00

2010 and 2011 Goals Review
2010-1. Focus more on being healthy and eating smaller portions rather than the number on the scale. But I also wanted to add that I will not look at the scale as my enemy. I need to use the scale as a tool, a means to the end rather than just the end.
Well, I'm still a bit scared of the scale, but I'm not dreading it as much as I used to. I'm definitely learning to use it as a tool just to monitor the fluctuations in my efforts.

2010-2. Learn to let go and move away from things that might be holding me back.
A huge part of this is recognizing what is holding me back, and perhaps moving away from it before I get in too deep.
It took me most of 2011 to figure this one out. Looking at this goal, I know that staying with my ex was really holding me back. So now I've broken free from that unhealthy relationship, and I'm more open to other possibilities in my life.

2011-1. Get a full-time job that I feel excited and passionate about.
Got a job that I'm super excited and passionate about!! But it's not full-time. I'm hoping that this is just the repercussions of the bad economy, and that a full-time job or at least full-time hours is in my near future. I have a feeling that it is.

2011-2. Go to Mexico with the Goddesses in October!
The trip was changed to Vegas. ACCOMPLISHED!

2011-3. Learn how to budget and handle my finances better.
Alas, this was one that I neglected. Completely neglected.

2011-4. Move into a new (and slightly larger) apartment or remove larger pieces of furniture from this apartment to make it seem more roomy.
Moved into a new and definitely larger apartment and definitely got rid of larger pieces of furniture from my life. ACCOMPLISHED!

2011-5. Relearn basic conversational Tagalog and Spanish.
I was doing really good in the beginning of the year when I still had all the time in the world. I'm going to keep this as a constant goal.

Are you ready to see my 2012 list? Here it is!

2012 Goals
1. Seriously learn how to budget and handle my finances better.
2. Reach my 30th birthday at least a little lighter, physically, emotionally, and mentally - including learning how to lessen the busyness in my life.
3. Visit the ocean even more than I did in 2011.
4. Learn to cook and bake at least 2 new items.
5. Make more music and dance more.

2011 was a really tough year. It was full of disappointments, endings, and broken promises. I'm really hoping the 2012 will bring only amazing experiences, especially since I'm turning 30 this year.

But, since I'm not one to just let things happen on their own, I'm planning to seek out a better new year every time I open my eyes in the morning.

Happy New Year To You and Yours!!!

California Christmas and Babies Galore

2011-12-31T16:23:00.001-05:00

It had been a long time since I had been to Los Angeles, though I'm glad I at least got to see California in April. But since I didn't get to spend Christmas with my family last year, I needed to see them this year.

Truth be told, this whole holiday season just crept up on me. For the first time in a long time, I wasn't prepared with presents for all my friends and co-workers, and it was just really hard to get into the holiday spirit in general.

Regardless, it was awesome to be home.

Except that everyone is constantly asking me when I plan to move back. It makes me sad to not have an answer, because I really want to have one that will satisfy them all. But for now I'm on the East, and I'll still be bicoastal.

Christmas Deliciousness

My mom decorating the little tree with ginormous ornaments

We spend Christmas Eve and Christmas Day up in the Bay Area with my sister, since she had to work that weekend. My brother was in the Philippines with his girlfriend, so it still felt like an incomplete Christmas.

But we did have our two doggies with us, since they're both a hassle to dog sit. They're also a hassle to have in a car.

Charlie trying to be a lap dog.

Other than spending time with my family, one big draw for going home is to have some home-cooked Filipino food. My mom cooked pancit, lumpia, and mechado over the weekend. I was an extremely happy camper.

serious food coma for like 24 hours...

On Christmas Day, I visited a childhood friend and her 2 adorable babies. It was great to see them, and to interact with her younger child who I had only seen as an infant. It was amazing to see them both talking away and interacting with me like they've known me all this time. Truth be told, these 2 kids would be a huge reason for me to move back. I've always hated the idea that one of my best friend's kids wouldn't know me. So it was comforting to know that they were so comfortable around me from the get-go.

Oh, she also fed me some delicious Columbian food. I ate my way through Christmas. It was fantastic.

Disneyland and California Adventure
How could I go to California and NOT visit a Disney park? Seriously.

Occupy Disneyland

It was great to hang out with friends I haven't seen in too long a time as well as meet some new awesome people.

Unfortunately, it was CRAZY BUSY!!! I mean, it was packed. I should have known better, I suppose, to have chosen a day between Christmas and New Years. But, we still managed to hit up all the awesome rides, including Space Mountain, Indiana Jones, and the Hollywood Tower of Terror.

BEST RIDE EVER
so simple...yet the laughing and screaming are so fun!

And I got to feast on some delicious Mickey Mouse Pancake action.

I'm pretty sure it's more delicious because it's so happy.

It was definitely a highlight to finally ride the new Little Mermaid ride, though I'm personally of the belief that the ride could have been an awesome water ride.

*squee!*

Then!!! I got to meet Ariel!!

She asked me about my outfit (which was clearly
all Little Mermaid-ed out). We chatted a bit about fashion,
as two mermaids would.

Gotta love that Princess pose...

How funny is it that the two celebrities I geek out about are redheads? Those Gingers are awesome, what can I say?

It was such a great day, even if my poor legs were exhausted and tense for the next 2 days. Good times all around.

Babies!
So, I had already talked about one of my best friend's babies and how awesome they are. But I also got to meet two other friends' little ones for the first time. One of them was about 2 months old, and the second one was about 14 months.

It was funny to me that this trip to California was like a baby tour. But I'm so very proud of my friends who are raising mini-humans. All their babies are beautiful, and I'm excited to see what their personalities will be like as they grow up and experience life.

*****

Leaving California is always hard. Leaving the warmth and the love from my friends and family there is hard. But I guess I'm just not ready to leave the adventure of the cold cold of New England. Nor am I ready to say goodbye to my friends and adoptive family here.

Til next time, California.

Tori Amos at The Orpheum 12-6-11

2011-12-31T02:30:00.000-05:00

As a Tori fan, I feel like I should know exactly how many of her concerts I've been to. But my best guess is that I've seen her at least 5 or 6 times. But now, I can say without a doubt that I've met her 3 times.

I was SO late to work...but it was worth standing outside for so long...

She had some tall boots on!
She's actually a bit shorter than me, as evidenced by my other Tori post.

I had brought her some pearl hair clips that I made for her and Tash, and she seemed to really like them. I asked her about her shoes, which were some really cute wedge boots (a style I've been trying to look for!). She then proceeded to tell me that she got them in L.A. (which I squealed about and told her it was my hometown) at the Nordstroms in The Grove. She then lifted her foot and asked me to see if there was a logo on the bottom, but since there wasn't she took her shoe off (!!!) and told me they were from Steven. I couldn't believe she took off her shoe just to tell me that!

Then, I naturally had to ask her about what her thoughts were on the Occupy Movement and other movements around the world. She talked about how the Native Americans have been talking about the similar issues for so long. She also said that she thinks things will get worse before they get better, especially with the way things have been moving towards. But, she said, I will be in charge of reminding her and others, as well as she has the responsibility to remind me and others about the need for change.

So cool.

This time around, I got to see the show with other folks who I adore and who also love Tori. It had definitely been a while since I got to see Tori with a friend, much less multiple friends!

The show was, of course, amazing. Here's the list of songs she played with some choice pictures I captured:

Shattering Sea
Landslide
Suede
Way Down
Leather
Snow Cherries From France

Mother
Ruby Through the Looking Glass
1000 Oceans

Siren
Nautical Twilight
Star Whisperer

Mrs. Jesus
Not the Red Baron
Someone Saved My Life Tonight

Your Ghost
Edge of the Moon
Fearlessness
Cruel

Tori was amazing. Having the string quartet with her was amazing. There was definitely a couple of tears shed at this concert. It's amazing that she always chooses songs that are extremely significant for me in the moment.

Thank goodness for Tori Amos and her music.

Bit O' Catch-Up - Break-Ups, Thanksgiving in NYC, and Moving

2011-12-31T01:12:00.000-05:00

This time, I'm absolutely not pulling your leg when I say that it's been a really crazy busy month. So, I'm going to attempt to succinctly tell you all about my Thanksgiving in New York as well as other significant life events.

Ready? Go!

Breaking Up Is Hard to Do...Except When It's Harder Not To...
In a way, I wasn't really expecting it since I thought my situation with the boyfriend was improving. But, it was kind of a long time coming. I honestly don't know (except that I do, and it's not anything I would post about here) why it took so long for me to follow through on this. At the end of the day, I'm so much better for it.

Thanksgiving in NYC
Being that I couldn't spend Thanksgiving with the now-ex and because I was kind of anticipating some distance between us, I was happy to have already planned to see my best friend in New York for Thanksgiving.

We had a low key evening of cooking, but celebrated by going to see The Muppets movie.

Fall in New York is Better with Good Company

Had some Turkey at Whole Foods earlier that day,
but had a really healthy veggie dinner later...
of course with some pecan pie...

We could only be with each other for a short less-than-48 hours, so I had to leave the next morning. But she introduced me to this delicious place called Doughnut Plant, which is one hell of a step up from Dunkin' Donuts.

They have flavors like...TRES LECHES!!!!
which...is f*&^ing amazing...
(picture from Leti)

I definitely took some to go with their home-made chai

Moving On and Moving Forward
It was tough and honestly really scary to know that I had to uproot my life once again. It's like I keep getting myself into the same situation, hoping for a better end result. It's the definition of crazy.

But when I had my lowest of lowest days at the end of November, December started to really show me that things can get better.

I had so much trouble finding a new place to live, and I was conflicted about staying in Brighton, which is where I had basically been since I've been in Boston. Part of me knew that I needed a clean break and moving to a new part of town seemed like the best way to do it.

Eventually, I did find a place and couldn't believe my luck when I realized I had cool landladies and roommate. I had never been so excited to pick up a key.

opening up to new beginnings

But never had I been so sad to leave behind all that I did.

some of the last of my things

Particularly, I am still feeling devastated to have left Mencken. It was clear that we had to do what we did - Yoni is much more bonded to me and Mencken to him. But Mencken was my baby boy. I found him on Craigslist. I know that cats adjust a lot quicker than humans do to new situations. But can you really blame me for wishing to have them both with me or at least with each other? I am so happy to have Yoni, though.

So, now I'm at my new place, and I have been since December 17th. I'm lucky to know some amazing people who helped me transport my ridiculous amount of possessions to Jamaica Plain. Anyone who helps you move is definitely owed some serious favors. I literally owe those people my life and then some.

Las Vegas Get-Away - October 2011

2011-11-27T18:36:00.000-05:00

What Happens in Vegas...Gets Blogged About!
I'm not much of a gambler, though I can't say I'm very good with money to begin with. But this trip to Las Vegas was something I desperately needed at the time, more so than I realized.

This trip was sponsored by my night job, and I was looking forward to hanging with some of the amazing ladies of the company. It was guaranteed to be a relatively good time, though I didn't know what to expect as I hadn't been to Vegas in quite a long time.

In trips like this, where there are so many travelers involved, I think it's good to establish the different expectations from each travel companion. I was lucky to already enjoy the company of my roommate/sister, but I still wanted to make sure we were on the same page. We both decided that getting some Vitamin D by the pool as well as seeing several shows were our main objectives. I was excited for a chance to see Cirque du Soleil's "The Beatles LOVE" again.

Staying on The Strip
It's overrated, in my opinion. I mean, I guess it helps to be a guest at one of the hotels if you plan on hitting up one of the clubs. We found that if you are lounging by the pool, some promoter's bitch will be coming around handing out free "VIP" passes to all the ladies sitting around. I guess that's a specific benefit when you're staying at one of the hotels on the Strip.

But, at the end of the day, the hotels are just a place to crash for the most part.

We were shacked up at The Luxor, which isn't one of the fancier hotels, but it's decent.

At the Sphinx

One of the main issues that I had with Vegas was all the indoor smoking. Sorry if you're a smoker, but I just am not a fan. It became so unbearable at times. The smell stays in my hair, in my nostrils, in my clothes. And I had some really cute outfits. But I felt dirty all the time.

Pyramid and Palms

Another perk of staying on the Strip, and specifically at The Luxor (since I can't speak for the other hotels) are the specials you get just by staying there. We got a different phone message every day for a different special. One that we took advantage of was the cheaper spa packages. These specials, coupled with another chance for cheaper entertainment, was definitely a BIG perk of staying on the Strip.

There's Always a Catch
On our first day there, we got roped into one of those timeshare demonstrations. This was really the first time I had ever taken one of those tours, especially since I wouldn't even be able to afford something like that any time soon. But there was a very specific benefit.

For $200, we got a bunch of vouchers. We ended up with cheap tickets to see "LOVE" and "Menopause The Musical," vouchers for meals at The Luxor, and vouchers for the Nurture Spa at The Luxor.

It was great to get a massage for so much cheaper than the actual price!

But, we were at the timeshare demonstration for most of the day, which was alright since we were both pretty tired from the traveling. My roomie ended up going for a timeshare, but then cancelled it later in the week.

Still, because of her short-lived purchase, we got a limo ride not only back to the hotel but to In N Out!!! It was perhaps one of the coolest In N Out experiences I've had to date.

Buffet After Buffet
We had vouchers for 4 buffet meal at the Luxor as part of our travel package. The buffet at the Luxor was fairly decent, with their "international" diversity of Mexican, Italian, Chinese, and American foods. The best part of the buffet was the various types of dessert!! Also, if you got there a little bit before lunchtime, you got some of the breakfast options, which I was super excited about.

My roomie and I also used our meal vouchers from the timeshare demonstration to go to the fancy steakhouse at the Luxor called TENDER. The meat was delicious, especially since it was free-range beef. But it was nice to go to a fancy steakhouse, since I don't really get to do that very often at all.

A little Proseco action

Strange yet fascinating use of the horns

mmmm....meat...

Vanilla Bean Creme Brulee

I was even more excited about some of the other options that were available to me on this side of the country.

As the plane was landing, it was almost comforting to see the flat landscape of the Vegas desert. But then it suddenly dawned on me that In N Out was in Vegas! I'm pretty sure I let out a little squeal of joy.

I am also pleased to report that I was able to have a delicious sausage from Pink's as well as the ever-sought-after Orange Julius! There was really too much deliciousness. Just looking at these pictures makes my belly happy.

never been so happy to have a cup in my hand!

Sun-Soaking and Shows
Like I mentioned earlier, my roomie and I agreed that lounging pool-side and seeing several shows would be the main focus of our Vegas trip.

Sitting poolside was really quite nice, even when the desert wind got slightly chillier. The hot sun was extremely pleasant, and it was difficult to hear about the snow storm that hit Boston the day before we were to fly back.

soak it up

Somehow, one of the lifeguards decided he was going to take a liking to one of the women in our group. Then it suddenly moved on to me, though I tried to make it clear that I wasn't interested. However, being the nice and naive person I am, I ended up giving the kid my number just in case he had some hookup to a cool club or something. Well, that bit me in the ass, because he was soon trying to meet up with me for the rest of the week. This child was 20 years old. He wouldn't have been able to stand on the casino floor, much less take me out!!! And yet, he still offered to buy me...breakfast...Hahahahaha! It was sweet..but not really what I came to Vegas for.

Between the cheaper tickets from the timeshare demonstration and the shows that were part of our travel package, we literally saw a different show almost every night we were out. Lemme break down all the shows we saw.

Sunday to Thursday

Cirque du Soleil's The Beatles LOVE
Utterly amazing. The first time I got to see the show, I was with my family and I was sitting closer to the stage. This time, we got seats that were much higher up, but the views were still spectacular. Cirque du Soleil knows how to put on a damn good show, and they really did The Beatles justice with this one. This show gives me chills every time.

rainbow walkway to the theater

posing with The Beatles

After the show, you can feel the love

the Revolution Lounge

It took way too much work to get this picture...
but it was worth it :)

Cirque du Soleil's Zumanity
Holy crap. This show was absolutely amazing and super sexy. There were so many hot bodies, hot dance routines, and lots of grinding. It was orgasmic, really. This is definitely another show I would want to see again and again. If you sit close enough, you get to interact a bit with the performers. If you're to close, you might get pulled into the acts!

I have only 2 warnings about this show. If you are in any way closed-minded or not open to various and inclusive sexual acts, you will be squeamish - but you should still see the show!!! After the show, everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, suddenly looks super attractive and you just want to make out with everyone.

Consider yourself warned.

Comedy Show at Brad Garrett's Comedy Club
This show was included in our travel package. The comedians were great! There was definitely a lot of laughter, and I always have given comedians tons of credit for having the balls to get up there and recite a couple of lines.

But I also felt really bad for these comedians. The group that I was with is a group of very out-spoken, very loud, and very proud group of women. By virtue of being who we were, we often became the highlight of each of the comedians' acts. At some point, I realized that we as a group had taken over the entire show. While many of the women don't mind being the center of attention, at some point, I could feel the disapproval of the others in the audience, and I worried it would then translate to disapproval of the comedians. Their job is hard enough without having a bunch of loud women taking over their show.

But overall, I had a great time and at least the comedians had a lot of material they could use on us.

Menopause The Musical
I had heard a lot of great things about this show. Being that it's a part of the life cycle, I actually don't know too much about the process. I was hoping to gain a lot more insight beyond the standard stereotypes I hear all the time.

I was pleasantly surprised to learn that Paige O'Hara was playing one of the main characters. Do you know who that is?!?!?! Paige (mutha-flippin') O'Hara is the voice of Disney's Belle!!! As a Disney geek, I was beyond excited about this! It was awesome to be so close to her!

When my friend and I first got there, we had a slight seating issue. For some reason, these ladies in our row would not move down a seat, when clearly we all had assigned seats. I don't know why they couldn't just lift their asses and move on over...it was pissing us off. But the show started, and we still hadn't figured out our seating arrangement.

At first, we moved to a row behind the women but soon the ladies who had those seats arrived. We explained our situation to the usher, who had this very deep booming voice. Though he at first explained that those ladies should have moved, he then moved us to the front row of our section! I wanted to turn around and be like, "YEEAAAHHHH, BITCHES!!!!" But I figured that would be in poor taste.

But back to the show. It was incredibly funny, and the reworking of popular songs to fit the situations was great! Some of the songs barely needed a change at all! I highly recommend this musical comedy. It's extremely insightful and honest and downright humorous.

Tournament of Kings at Excalibur
This final show was another part of our travel package. I had never been to any of these Medieval Knights-style shows, so I was looking forward to this. We were seated in the Spain section of the room, right in the center. Pretty darn good seats.

that mead tasted a lot like Pepsi...

The show was a lot of fun. We had to cheer on our country's King, and there were a series of games they got to play with each other. I'm pretty sure many of these "Kings" also moonlight as private dancers in other clubs on the Strip.

It seemed like a decent night for dinner and a show. It soon began to dawn on me that this was our final night. I had barely done any gambling, though like I said in the beginning I'm not much of a gambler.

What Happens in Vegas...Should Be Considered Before Getting There...
We were in Vegas for a week. A week! Truth be told, you can do Vegas in 4 days max. Have a plan for what you want to do in Vegas, be it seeing shows, visiting the different hotels like they were museums, soaking up some sun, or hitting the clubs.

I got to go to the two clubs at our hotel, get a couple of cheaper drinks, and dance a bit with some handsome French guy. So I won't complain about that. I even got to see Twista do his thing at the Luxor's LAX club.

Goodness..he looks far..but he was really close to us!
He even touched my friend!

I think I had a pretty well-rounded trip to Vegas. I didn't get too crazy drunk, I only lost about $60 on the machines, and I'm pretty sure there aren't any really bad pictures of me floating around the interwebs. I got to get a tan, see some amazing shows, and make some life-long friends with people I already considered my sisters.

Though I was glad to get the hell out of the smokey air, I was sad to leave the bubble of awesome that is created when I'm with those ladies. I can see why they enjoy going on yearly trips with each other. Next stop is London in 2013. I'm not sure yet if I'm going, but I know I wouldn't regret it if I did.

Toesies of the Month - October and November 2011

2011-11-26T15:08:00.000-05:00

Well, with October and November being what it is, I've slacked on posting my pedi's. Luckily, I didn't slack on actually getting them done.

In the past 2 months, I've gotten pedicures as a mental preparation for some trips I was planning to take.


Designed by Kim at City Nails & Spa, South End, MA Color: OPI - Miso Happy With This Color & Essie - As Gold As It Gets Occasion: Las Vegas Trip October 2011

close up of the detail

I really liked this pedicure. I don't think I've ever gotten such a light pinky color on my toes before. I have to admit, they looked pretty awesome amidst the palm trees in Vegas (I'll be writing about Vegas soon).

poolside at the Luxor

October's pedicure lasted a really good long while. In fact, I probably didn't need to get another pedicure for November. But, I needed to trade in my summer colors for a more fall color scheme.

Designed by Chan at City Nails & Spa, South End, MA
Color: China Glaze - Westside Warrior
Occasion: Thanksgiving
November 2011

These colors felt more appropriate for a trip to New York City for Thanksgiving (I will write about this soon as well!). It was actually kind of funny to watch this nail technician try to imitate her own nail design. It seemed that she kept confusing herself because she tried to mirror what she had, but on my toes.

This is also one of the few times when I chose a nail color that was more matte. I know I'm behind on this trend, but I've always liked the more sparkley colors. But I love this shade of green, so naturally this made sense to me.

I actually realized as she was putting the color on that I will have to change my pedicure color to a French Tip for a show I'm going to be in. I'm a little bummed that I didn't think about it early enough, but I'm not too bummed about another pedicure in a couple of weeks.

Thankful 4 - Besties

2011-11-25T16:49:00.000-05:00

Even though we don't get to see each other as often as we'd like to, it's always the best thing ever to see my best friend. We're such opposites sometimes, but we complement each other perfectly. We have the best time when we're together. I'm so lucky that she's on the East Coast, even if it is a different city.

Thankful 4 - Strength

2011-11-23T11:01:00.000-05:00

I know that I'm not a fast runner. I know that I'm not even an endurance runner. I know that I'm not aspiring to be a runner. But, man, I know that I will try my best and give it everything I've got.

Every time the bootcamp puts together a challenge, I try to make it just to show myself that I can do it. I've finished last or second to last every time. But I still show up. One day, I won't be last or second to last, but maybe 4th last.

Trying to slim down is hard work. But I can feel the strength in my body.

And if I'm strong physically, perhaps I can convince myself of my other strengths as well. I am absolutely thankful for all the strengths that I possess within me, and all the strengths that I can find in others as well.

my beat up sneakies

Thankful 4 - Little Kindnesses

2011-11-22T23:35:00.000-05:00

There's very little in the way of politeness or courtesy anymore. So, it always strikes me by surprise when someone (truth be told, specifically men) hold open a door, or lets someone else take their seat on the T, or just says, "Hello" while walking down the street. It can even be as simple as trying to be kind.

Those little actions don't have to mean anything. They don't need to be interpreted in any other way. Sometimes, they're just nice and being kind.

Sometimes, these little kindnesses mean so much to someone who's had a difficult time seeing anything positive. Sometimes, these little kindnesses are a breath of fresh, crisp air in a clouded, smokey moment. Sometimes, these little kindnesses help brings them back to the fact that there are still so many things to be thankful for.

Thankful 4 - Kitty Snuggles

2011-11-21T08:25:00.001-05:00

In these 4 days before Thanksgiving in a month that has been both taxing and cruel, I want to recognize the blessings that I am privileged to have in my life.

It still amazes me that the kitties can tell when things aren't going as usual. Strangely, Yoni has taken to sleeping with me, and sleeping ON me. I love that little kitty-que. I'm so thankful for her snuggles, even when it wakes me up.

Yoni and her early morning belly rubs

Forced Into the Fray

2011-11-15T00:29:00.000-05:00

My posts will be relatively unreliable as my life is in the process of shifting.

I have some neat things planned..and I didn't even get to show you my toesies from October, or about my Vegas trip, or about how I'm in the process of closing my previous life in order to be more open to a new and improved one.

I miss blogging and all of you guys.

Those who have to deal with me on a daily basis, I'm sorry I'm such a hot mess. But at least I'm still warm-blooded.

Standing with Occupy Boston - Part 3

2011-11-04T00:58:00.001-04:00

It was dark in the back of the paddy wagon. There were 2 sections, with very narrow seats and a divider in-between. With our hands behind our backs, the seats became even more narrow.

We had heard that the women were going to be taken to either South Boston or the South End. Knowing that was at least somewhat of a comfort.

When the police officer stopped, he stopped so suddenly that it would throw us all to the front of the wagon. Honestly, it felt like he was doing it on purpose. Having grown up in Los Angeles, you can forgive my slight bias against the cops. Truth be told, there were moments I had to convince myself that we wouldn't all (as an all woman wagon) be forced into strange sexual situations.

They took us to the South End station, where they first put the 10 of us women in a holding cell, including the Director of the National Lawyers Guild. After about 5 minutes, we saw another wagon of girls arrive. I eagerly searched for other members of my affinity group, but didn't see them.

Luckily, some of the girls had their zipties on loose enough that they could wiggle around, text their contacts, and scratch their itches. When they first strapped on my zipties, I could tell that they were on quite snug on my wrists. After a while, I started feeling like my fingers were going numb. As they were booking the first two ladies, I asked one of the officers to either loosen them or cut them and put new ones on me. Apparently, someone higher ranking than him had to do it.

To this day, my right pinky finger feels slightly different from whatever nerve got pinched.

Because I mentioned how painful the zipties felt, I was the 3rd to be booked. Finally, they removed my zipties, and the tingling grew less intense.

First, I was frisked by a female officer in a cell, where we had a short conversation about how much more invasive that frisking was compared to the TSA. She reached around the top of my pants, asked me to lift my shirt to see if I had anything hidden in my bra. But I could sense that she didn't like that part of the job any more than I liked being part of it.

Then, I was told to remove my belt and put my belongings, including a hairtie and my seashell necklace into a bag. They moved me back into the main area, where I saw that a third group of girls had arrived. As they moved the first two women into individual cells, they moved me up to a window where a woman was taking down our information.

I was asked to write down my address and social security number. As she inputted that information, they took my mugshots. As I continued to answer questions, they THEN read me my Miranda Rights, before taking my fingerprints. When I got to make my phone call, I quickly called the person who had my belongings and asked her to call my two contacts with the information of the police station.

At some point, I noticed that they took several of the women who were in my wagon and affinity group back to another wagon. I asked one of the officers where they were taking them, but they basically ignored me. This caused a bit of anxiety for me, because I didn't want to be separated from those I had stood in solidarity with.

After that whole process, they took me to an individual holding cell.

As I waited in the cell, I imagined what it must have happened in there. All the scratches and marks on the wall and glass door. All the unknown dirt stains on the walls. It was horrifying. I could only imagine what it must be like for someone who wasn't planning to get arrested.

I realized that on the off chance that I would be able to get to work the next day, that I needed to get some form of rest. So, I tried my best to close my eyes, making sure that my head was located furthest from the dirtiest wall. Cells are cold and concrete and dull. You should avoid getting arrested if you're at all fidgety or claustrophobic.

I would listen one in a while to the other ladies talking, occasionally getting up to ask questions. Since there was a representative from the National Lawyers Guild in the cell with us, I learned that they had a pool of money to help bail us out. That they're probably on their way to bail her out, and she would promptly retrieve more funds to bail the rest of us out.

There was definitely a moment when I realized that I should have called another friend of mine to bail me out. It was torture not knowing how long I was going to be there.

Luckily, I was part of one of the first groups who were released. They took us to another room where I received my summons to court. I was to show up on Wednesday morning.

I'm definitely planning on framing this

It was 4:50am. I knew that there was no way in hell that I would have made it to bootcamp that morning.

Eventually, my friend came to pick me up and I was able to retrieve my belongings from the woman in our affinity group. She told me that I was one of the first she had heard from, which worried me.

Later, after scouring the Occupy Boston website and news sources, I saw tons of videos and images of that evening. I also learned that the women who were randomly taken to another station had been locked up for nearly 16 hours, where they were then promptly taken to court for arraignment.

On that Wednesday, I learned that justice is most definitely not blind, but definitely near-sighted.

Firstly, some of us were charged with "unlawful assembly" while others were also charged with "trespassing" as well. What was the difference? I have no idea. Perhaps those are the folks who resisted arrest? Honestly, it just felt random.

Over the course of that week, the 141 of us who were arrested had several different fates. One judge (who was described as black with dreadlocks) saw the charges and dismissed them outright. Another judge offered those of us who had no prior records a chance to turn the criminal charge into a civil offense + a $50 fine (basically like getting a moving violation). Others who had prior records had harsher charges. Some chose not to take the deal and plead not guilty, while the majority of us took the deal.

As they called our names, I was frustrated that they couldn't seem to get my name right. It seemed ridiculous that because the bail bondsman didn't write my name down correctly on my arraignment paper that the rest of the people couldn't even pronounce it. It was ridiculous.

I also noticed the television camera that was pointed at us. Meanwhile, the District Attorney who suggested the deal wouldn't even make eye contact with any of us.

After that, I paid my fine and was a free woman.

********

Looking back, I am so proud to have been part of it. It was extremely frightening to face the police and to see how physical they were getting. But I am thankful that it was not as violent as it has been in New York and Oakland.

The process of the judicial system is strange. Really, it's quite dehumanizing. And yet, it's doing exactly what it was intended to do.

I believe this movement has potential.
I believe that there has been an unequal distribution of wealth for too long, and I believe that it is part of the American history and right to fight against that as they did with the Tea Tax.
I believe that that unequal distribution of wealth is the large "umbrella" problem, which houses underneath it labor and workers rights, immigration issues, poverty, minimum wage, health care, and everything else that is broken in this country.
I believe that the Wall St. Executives, Banks, and Lobbyists have abused their power and continued to purchase their lavish homes while others were foreclosed on.
I believe they need to be jailed and fined for their behavior.
I believe that those who say that they are responsible for upholding our constitutional rights need to be held responsible.

I am a product of the dream of the American Dream. I finished high school, college, and graduate school. Yet I have to work multiple jobs and am still not able to make ends meet. When my 18 months of unemployment benefits ended, so did my state-required health insurance. I was without health insurance for 8 months. I will be penalized for not having health insurance come next tax season. There's something wrong when those who are in a profession to protect our future are treated with less respect than those who've created a financial collapse. Why should I be punished for doing work that helps others? Why is my job as a sex educator, child care worker, and social worker worth less than the quarterback or the bank executive? Why can't I do what I love while also be able to one day own a home and raise my own family?

This is why I choose to stand in solidarity with the Occupy Movement.

I am the 99%.

Book Review: "Mermaid: A Twist on the Classic Tale" by Carolyn Turgeon

2011-10-29T17:08:00.003-04:00

Hi All!

I just got back from Vegas late last night, and I have to gush about this book. I began it right before I left for Vegas, and finished it on my stop-over back. I literally had to hold back from weeping right there in the terminal. It's a beautiful book, and I highly recommend it to anyone who loves Hans Christian Andersen's "The Little Mermaid." Here's my review on Goodreads.com.

Mermaid: A Twist on the Classic Tale by Carolyn Turgeon
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Absolutely loved this twist on Andersen's story! I'm not a fast reader by any means. But I couldn't put this book down! The story becomes more rich with the addition of the Princess' point of view, and it just changed my perspective on the entire story. This is definitely one of my new favorite books!

I also highly recommend checking out her blog: IAmAMermaid.com

I kind of want to read the book all over again, just in case I missed something the first time.
*sigh*

Standing with Occupy Boston - Part 2

2011-10-22T00:40:00.003-04:00

Truth be told, I was uncertain about how much I really wanted to be involved in the arrests almost up to the end.

Let me actually take a quick step back to talk about the purpose of arrests in movements.

As far as I understand it, in the history of social movements and civil disobedience there is a clash between those in power and those who are asking for change. Part of that clash usually involves protesters being arrested. For the most part, one cannot plan a movement without planning for mass arrests at one point or another.

It's like a twisted game of chess, really. Except one of the sides isn't necessarily following the original rules. The elected officials act as the most powerful pieces, while they send their pawns to do their bidding. But in terms of civil disobedience and free assembly, protesters are merely exercising their First Amendment rights (video reference in the form of an interview here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kCuax-3DeBc).

It's confusing and it's messed up. Each group will have its reasons for doing what they're doing.

In terms of the Occupy Movement, the people are finally getting educated about what's been happening...what we've allowed to happen to the financial system. Banks, investment companies, and the people who run them have been continuing to become more wealthy while the majority of America is suffering from poverty and lack of resources (video reference in the form of a documentary here: http://www.vimeo.com/25142692).

I absolutely believe that they need to be held accountable for putting the country in the mess that it's in. I believe that things need to change. The financial system needs to change, the priorities need to change, everything needs to change.

It's perhaps what drove me to stay.

As the light turned to dark, you could feel the energy of the group. For a while, I stood near the sidewalk to help protect the camp, but soon my feet grew weary. As I walked further into the small park, I noticed someone talking to a lady, who honestly looked like she didn't belong in the group. I know how that sounds.

It turned out that she was the Director of the Rose Kennedy Greenway, and she expressed her concern over the expansion. I told her that I believed a General Assembly was going to begin, and that it would be a great opportunity for everyone to hear from her.

To briefly explain the way General Assemblies work, the facilitator proposes a certain agenda (of which the Assembly can modify on the spot), the group discusses the agenda items, and before a decision is made others can be placed on a stack where they have a chance to speak. There are several interesting tactics they used, such as wiggling fingers in a specific direction to signify agreement or disagreement and the very interesting "People's Mic" where others surrounding a speaker would repeat what's being said so that the larger audience would be able to hear without a public announcement system.

during the General Assembly

This evening's General Assembly was about whether the group should continue to stay at this park. I went back and forth about it in my own head, as did many of the commentators did during the meeting. Was this worth risking the so-far-peaceful protests? Was it worth risking the credibility of the movement? Well, the group came to a consensus and decided to stay in the park as we all recognized that growth in the movement was inevitable and civil disobedience was another non-negotiable.

Afterward, the organizers and representatives from the National Lawyers Guild helped to prepare those of us who planned to get arrested. Some of their suggestions included:

If you have contacts on, remove them immediately. If the police decide to use pepper spray as they did several days ago in New York, the contacts will fuse to your eyeballs.
While linking arms, hold your hand in a certain way so as to protect your thumbs.
Form an Affinity Group, of whom roles are made clear (i.e. who is getting arrested, who is planning to resist arrest, who will be ensured to be released first, etc.).
You have several options when the police arrive: Follow their first directive and leave the premises, decline their offer to leave, or go limp as they arrest you a.k.a resist arrest.

It was really quite an interesting quickie lesson on civil disobedience. But it's one that has stuck.

Fast forward to 11:30pm, a half hour before our time was up. Some organizers decided to move the tents into the middle of the park, which allowed protesters to form a tighter circumference around the tents.

Greenway Tentcity

Though I was initially extremely uncertain about being arrested, I knew I wanted to stay and watch the events transpire. It was honestly difficult to have been at the marches and at his extremely tense time without a single friend. Though I had made new acquaintances along the way and I felt really connected to my Affinity Group, I still felt lonely without a familiar face.

At midnight, we got word that police officers were finally starting to get suited up. Bike messengers were going around to keep an eye on the police activity. At 12:30am, someone with a loudspeaker pumped up the crowd by stating that we were still there and still strong.

Throughout the evening, people were making sure that we had the National Lawyers Guild phone number written on our bodies. At this late point, another person suggested that if we didn't want to risk damaging our belongings that we should give it to someone in our Affinity Group who wasn't planning on getting arrested. This woman who had all of our belongings was like a beacon of hope to me. She had made sure to connect with our other contacts as well as keeping our belongings safe. I am eternally grateful to her.

At 1am, the bike messengers told us that they spotted a street lined with "paddy wagons" (a term originally referring to Irish immigrants). At 1:30am, they told us that they were coming. Groups of police officers were coming from 2 different directions. I wanted to make sure that they weren't coming from behind me, but they were coming from all over.

I realized that a group called the Veterans for Peace created a blockade between the police officers and our group. They were the first line of defense. I honestly couldn't believe their bravery, and I couldn't even begin to thank them for what they did.

As the police bombarded through the Veterans for Peace line, injuring one of them, they surrounded us. Some of them started to push the Occupiers in towards the tents. As this was happening, I couldn't help but analyze their tactic and think about how they were trying to get us to either break apart or sit on the ground.

From one of the many shots published on different websites.
You can see a little me in the right, next to the green shirt.

Several of my Affinity Group members were taken at this point. To my left, to my right, right in front of me, I watched police officers shove people face down into the ground, knee to their back as they forced their arms behind their backs. I couldn't believe the physical force the police was using. It angered me, and it confused me, and it worried me. I was moved to tears only because I felt so helpless.

When they got to me, I started being uncertain if I could go through with it. My anxiety level was on high alert, and I was having a really difficult time watching the violence towards the protesters. But my anxiety level would have been worse had I decided to leave. I didn't want to abandon my group or the cause.

After they took the person next to me, the police officers once again gave me a chance to leave. All I could say was, "Nope." And this once police officer in a suit then said to me, "Alright. You're next, Miss."

How...polite?

As another officer walked me to the street of wagons, I couldn't help but continue to be afraid of the unknown. The woman in front of me being arrested began complaining about the zipties on her wrists. Mine were also tight as hell, but I mustered the quite courage to help ease her pain.

This girl was clearly angry, however. She was seething. She even said at one point that she never agreed to be non-violent, which threw the rest of us for a loop. At one point during our ride in the wagon, I spoke to her sternly about how we respected her autonomy, but that we all kindly asked that she not do anything to put us or the movement in danger. She agreed.

They placed me in the wagon with about 9 other women and shut the doors to leave us in the dark. The way the wagon is designed is clearly not for comfort. The seats were tiny, and even smaller after having our hands tied behind us. Since we weren't buckled in, if the driver stopped suddenly it would throw us all off balance, requiring us to fall on each other. It's really inhumane. I'm sure we could go back and forth about how criminals should be treated. At the very least, to be treated as a human is a basic right.

Before I continue on, I must unfortunately stop here. I am planning to go on a vacation in Vegas, and I am unfortunately not planning to bring my laptop. But Part 3 will tell you about my late night/early morning in jail, the following responses I received, and my time in court.

For now, please watch this brief documentary on the day of the march and arrests. At round 6:55, you can catch a quick glimpse of me in a gray hoodie next to the guy in a green shirt in the far right.

"What Democracy Looks Like: The View From Occupy Boston" from Michael Gill on Vimeo.

I promise I'll be good. Though clearly, I can't make any promises about getting arrested anymore.

See y'all next week!

Standing with Occupy Boston - Part 1

2011-10-18T23:35:00.000-04:00

This week has definitely been an intense week. I don't think I knew how intense this week was going to be. But, are you ready to hear all about my experience with the Occupy Boston protest?

Oh. I see. You don't really watch the news or don't know what all this Occupy [Insert Location Here] stuff is? Well, here's an explanation from the Occupy Boston website:

Occupy Boston is the beginning of an ongoing discussion about reforming Wall Street and removing special interests from government. The continuing occupation of Dewey Square (outside South Station) is just one of more than 120 separate Occupy encampments in cities across the nation and a symbol for “Occupiers” everywhere who support real and lasting change.

And here's a great video of a former Representative of Florida explaining the cause to a T, originally posted by Ms. Arnetta Green at "This May Sound Crazy But":

So, I had been wanting to go just to check out the camp since I was hearing about the Occupy Wall St. protests. I just didn't really have the time. But luckily, on October 10th, with many places observing "Columbus Day," I decided that would be a great time to go see it. There was also a march planned, and I couldn't even imagine not being part of it.

As I left the house, the boyfriend/roommate jokingly said, "Have fun! Don't get arrested!" I scoffed, "Oh, c'mon! It's not even like that! It's just a march!" Clearly, this was some foreshadowing.

I arrive just in time to see the Student March ending at South Station. I was a bit sad that no one was able to join me, but it felt thrilling to see so many people supporting the movement.

Protesters at South Station

After the march proceeded down the street, I took a quick walk through the encampment. There were tents covering the entirety of Dewey Square. Every square inch was taken over by the Occupy Boston camp, from tents to signs to people.

So many tents...

After looking around a bit, I joined walked quickly to join the march. I figured it would be somewhat of a loop around downtown. But we walked for nearly 2 hours, through downtown past Government Center and the North End.

so many people!

part of the 99%

even dogs can march along!

Many signs simply asked for more jobs

Go Bruins!

Near the end of the march, we stopped at the Washington Street bridge to Charlestown. Suddenly, the march came to a halt. Some of the marchers wanted to continue onto the bridge, but it was blocked by several police officers.

There seemed to be some disagreement as to whether we were allowed to/should cross the bridge or not. I found out later that one of the Iron Workers Union members wanted to storm the bridge, and was promptly arrested for disobeying the cops' orders. Being that the bridge to Charlestown is in such disrepair, and yet they aren't hiring the unemployed iron workers, I could understand his drive.

Temperature Check

But while we were there, a spontaneous General Assembly (more on this later) was held to decide whether to go on the bridge or not. There was a bit of disagreement from the crowd, from people chanting "Our Bridge! Our Bridge!" to people thinking it would not be in the movement's favor to clash with the police at that moment.

Truth be told, it made me wonder a bit about the organization of the march. Yes, it was powerful and we saw both support and disagreement from passers-by. But why wasn't there a designated route? Clearly that's the event organizer speaking. But it could have definitely prevented this situation.

At some point during the General Assembly, some folks started getting wind that the police were threatening to take down the camp site. So, some groups continued to march around the North End, while others went back to the camp site. That's when we saw that several tents had popped up on another section of the Rose Kennedy Greenway.

Tents on the Greenway

At this point, I started hearing people talk about how the police have already told them they needed to take the tents back to the original campsite at Dewey Square. But, what's a movement without any civil disobedience?

The organizers started going around throughout the new campsite to encourage people to stay and protect the second campsite. Within the next half hour, I noticed several police officers gathering across the street, possibly discussing what course of action they should take.

do you see the police?

A couple more minutes pass, and I realize that the Police Commissioner is also part of the crowd of police officers. Soon, Occupy Boston representatives are letting us know that they are giving us til nightfall before closing in on the second camp. Then, we hear that Mayor Menino has given Occupy Boston until midnight to clear the second camp.

This was when the Occupy Boston representatives and other experienced activists started telling us about the possibility of being arrested.

...to be continued...

10 Day YOU Challenge - 1 Picture of Yourself

2011-10-12T23:18:00.000-04:00

Well.

I promise that I haven't neglected this challenge. Let's just say it's been a busy couple of days. I will write all about it in the next day. But for now, my picture will provide as a teaser.

The one picture I took of myself on October 10th at the
Occupy Boston site at the Rose Kennedy Greenway.

If you haven't been keeping track of the news, it's time to Google "Occupy Wall St." and "Occupy Boston."

Get to it, and I'll tell you all about my first-person experience of that days events.

10 Day YOU Challenge - 2 Songs

2011-10-09T12:58:00.000-04:00

2 songs:

I have to admit - this is perhaps one of the more difficult parts of this challenge. 2 songs?? How about 20?

I feel like different songs feel important at different parts of my life, day, mood, etc.

But I really had to whittle it down. Here are my 2.

1. Silent All These Years by Tori Amos

2. Something by The Beatles

10 Day YOU Challenge - 3 Films

2011-10-08T12:23:00.000-04:00

3 films:

1. Cinema Paradiso

2. The Little Mermaid

3. Airplane!

10 Day YOU Challenge - 4 Books

2011-10-07T23:11:00.000-04:00

4 books:

1. Dangerous Angels - The Weetzie Bat books by Francesca Lia Block

2. The Sandman Series by Neil Gaiman

3. The House on Mango Street by Sandra Cisneros

4. Mermaids - Sirens of the Sea by Kerry Colburn
(my first mermaid-dedicated book)

10 Day YOU Challenge - 5 Foods

2011-10-06T22:20:00.000-04:00

5 foods:

1. Sinigang

2. Butternut Squash Ravioli from Giacomo's in Boston

3. Sushi

4. Cakes (I mean..any kind of cake...including the flan and cup variety...but obviously Ube and Tres Leches are the tops)

5. Brunch (I know this isn't an actual food item...but anything and everything brunch fits in this category)

10 Day YOU Challenge - 6 Places

2011-10-05T23:11:00.000-04:00

6 places:

I've decided to go the route of 6 places that are on the top of my list to visit.

1. Brazil

2. Iceland

3. Tahiti, Bora Bora, and Fiji (and other Oceania Islands)

4. Egypt

5. The Great Barrier Reef

6. Mexico

10 Day YOU Challenge - 7 Wants

2011-10-04T23:45:00.000-04:00

7 wants:

1. Teleportation Device or Machine or Powers

I'm still holding out hope

2. My Own Home (complete with a pool/lagoon)

The waterfall obviously didn't fit in the picture...

3. The Entire Disney and Pixar Movie Collection


this is in no way a complete list

4. My Ideal Weight (which I'm working towards)

slow and steady to slimmer

5. My Own Nonprofit (saving the world one step at a time)

6. Greenish Bluish Mermaid Hair Tips (but with more green and not on that much hair)

From http://flippinyourfins.tumblr.com

7. A Mermaid Tail (obviously)

From the 1st Annual Mermaid Convention

10 Day YOU Challenge - 8 Fears

2011-10-03T19:30:00.000-04:00

8 fears (in order of intensity):

I will definitely not be posting images of things I fear...

1. Spiders - Their 8 eyeballs are horrifying.
2. Not being able to have children of my own - These birthing hips have to be good for something!
3. Falling to my death - Really, it's just not being able to live a full lifetime, but falling is the scariest since once you're airborne, you can't do anything about it.
4. Clowns - Stephen King's IT (where it turns out to be a ginormous alien spider!! Sorry for the spoiler...I guess...) and Killer Klowns From Outer Space (I can't look at those twisty straws the same ever again...) have pretty much ensured that clowns are scary mofo's.
5. Losing my loved ones suddenly - Being that I can get motherly towards people I love, I'm always trying to look out for their safety.
6. Not having a purpose - Being unemployed this past year was one of the worst experiences of my life; I would never want to go through that ever again.
7. Being kidnapped without anyone noticing or being attacked when I walk home at night - Especially in the dark, I prefer walking in the middle of a group.
8. Losing one of my senses - I know that many people live without certain senses. This isn't meant to be insensitive, but the idea of losing one of my senses suddenly without warning definitely freaks me out.

I try to be rational about most of these things. But there are a few things on this list that I refuse to be rational about.

10 Day YOU Challenge - 9 Loves

2011-10-02T21:01:00.000-04:00

9 loves:

1. My Kitties

Yoni

Mencken

2. My Family

3. My Friends on Both Coasts

map of friends listed on Facebook

4. My Zune and Music Collection

I've been listening to a lot of Tori lately due to her new album

5. Dancing

Taken by Nina at Katia's Retreat

6. Food!

mmm..mickey mouse ice cream bar...

7. The Ocean and Beach

From Nahant Beach

8. The Color Green in Every Shade

9. What else but Mermaids!

my mermaid scarf

10 Day YOU Challenge - 10 Secrets

2011-10-01T11:31:00.003-04:00

What better way to start the 10th month of the calendar year than a 10 Day Challenge!

I saw that several bloggers were doing this, but seeing it on Amy's blog, Ha Ha. Wait. What?, was the little push I needed. She's so super artsy! She even inspired me to make my own badge for the challenge!

Let's get started then, shall we?

ten secrets:

1. Social interactions are worth more money to me than the money I don't have. It's probably why I'm so broke.
2. On that note...In the past week, I've maxed out my credit cards in the name of fashion.
3. I pretend to be really tough, talking about how I would fight someone if it came down to it, but I've never been in a physical fight. But I really want to get into one.
4. Sometimes, I really want to have a tantrum in the middle of the after school.
5. I have taken hammers to electronics when they aren't working the way I want them to.
6. I still want to believe that some guy will rescue me, especially since things have become complicated in my current relationship.
7. I want to be the reason someone leaves their girlfriend, but I would just feel too guilty about hurting someone else like that.
8. I've been mildly depressed since I became unemployed, but I am so thankful for my therapist.
9. Sometimes I forget how old I actually am, and will have to think a quick second before telling you I'm 29.
10. I often feel like a Jack Of All Trades but a Master of None.

That was really much harder than I anticipated. I'm usually quite honest about who I am, so I felt like I had to dig kind of deep to find the things I'm not always honest with myself about.

Is anyone else doing this challenge? It would be fun to do this together!

Fitting Into My Schedule

2011-09-22T00:04:00.001-04:00

Remember when I was unemployed, but I still managed to fill my schedule with all kinds of things? Well, now that I have been training for my sex ed job while also going to my after school job, I feel like it's been nonstop for me.

But mainly, it's been nonstop adjusting, maneuvering, scheduling, and moving.

I feel like for my own sanity I need to break it down for you (really, for myself....but being that this is my blog, this is how I'm going to do it).

Here is a list of things that I am currently or soon to be involved in:
Butt-crack-of-dawn Bootcamp - 3x a week
Sex ed job - still training, but soon to be what takes up my weekday mornings
After school job - weekday afternoons (duh)
Supervision of a Social Work Intern - 2 hours a week starting in October
Night job - put it on hiatus for a couple of months, but I'm ready to be back in it
Dance classes - 1 on Tuesdays (weekly), 1 on Wednesdays (October and December, with a recital in January), 1 on Saturdays (6 sessions every other week)
Raks Nativity Show - several practices with a show in December
Speaker's Bureau - occasional speaking engagements and monthly meetings (will try to attend most of the meetings because I like connecting with these girls)

I think that's it.

It's definitely a style that I'm used to when I was working full time. Though I do think that the year of unemployment made me less used to being crazy busy.

I'm pretty sure that I'm lacking a lot of sleep (says the lady who's blogging at midnight) and that it's messing with my better judgement. In fact, I happened to be staring at the linoleum in a restroom this morning, and I swear the floor pattern started moving.

tripping out...need sleep...

Obviously this isn't to say that I don't absolutely appreciate being busy. I still thoroughly enjoy all the things I'm involved in, and I don't ever want to be unemployed ever ever ever again. I missed looking forward to the weekend, and now I'm happy that I can still sleep in and choose to lounge about all day when Saturday arrives.

I know I have to do better about self-care. I need to decide who will be on my team during really intense days, and I need to come up with a system or some rituals for keeping myself sane. While dance helps, I know I need something more.

I just want to put this message out there to the scheduling gods:
While I'm in the adjustment period, I'm also requesting a lot of flexibility from each of those components listed. I'm feeling like I'm committed to this schedule for at least a year, so all these things I'm involved in and all the people I'm working with just need to understand that I'm just trying to make everything work. So sometimes I'm late, and sometimes I forget things. But I promise that I'm not doing those things on purpose. I'm a hard worker, extremely loyal and committed, and I don't quit even when I should. Please be relatively kind to me.

Oh, and can you make the floor stop moving on its own?

Toesies of the Month: September 2011

2011-09-14T11:47:00.000-04:00

The end of last week was full of Fall weather, some more wet and rainy than cool and sunny. Sadly, there were times when my poor toes had to take shelter in closed-toe shoes.

But when the sun came out again, it brought to light how much I needed another pedicure.

This past week has focused a lot around starting my new jobs. It just felt appropriate to also have a new pedicure.

I ended up going back to City Nails & Spa, since I was in the area for physical therapy and then had to get to the after school right after. Unfortunately, my timing was a bit off and I was totally late for work. Not the best way to start a new job. But I wasn't going to sacrifice my self-care for it. I think it will help me set the stage for how I want the rest of the year to go.

Designed by Julie at City Nails & Spa, South End of Boston, MA
Color: Sephora by OPI - Leaf Him At The Altar
Occasion: MassRaqs and Welcoming Fall Weather and Colors
September 2011

Originally, I had wanted to get this color on me on September 1st. It was almost as if the change in months brought on the change in the air - it definitely felt like Fall had arrived on the 1st. Though, there are still warm and humid days here and there, we also had Tropical Storm Irene reign down on us.

And now, the sun has started setting before 7pm.

But you better believe I'm going to milk letting my toes see the sun for as long as possible.

And Just Like That...I Am Employed!

2011-09-05T22:24:00.001-04:00

Within the last week, I am happy to report that I was asked to join the after school program as a regular staff (20 hours a week), as well as being offered to supervise a first year MSW Intern (2 hours), as well as being offered to join Planned Parenthood as a sex educator (20 hours)!!!

I can't believe how all of this has suddenly presented itself in only the past month, though I've been waiting for these types of opportunities for over a year.

I literally had to cover my mouth to stop myself from yelling out loud on the phone, but I immediately started dancing around and shouting when I hung up. The kitties came out from wherever they were napping with confused stares.

But I'm so extremely excited!

Things go into full swing on the 12th, so I imagine a bit of adjustment is going to need to happen for me. But if I can push through a month of working almost every day of the week (June 2011), then I know I can push through this. Especially since they will be things that I really want to do.

There's a part of me that is aware of how my point of view has shifted in the past year. There's been a lot of disappointment and a lot of difficulties. It's hard for me to go into anything fully without being a bit more cautious.

I don't know if it's that I've lost my sense of adventure and spontaneity, or if I'm just being cautiously optimistic. Maybe a little of both?

Remember when I had to do the 15 Jobs a Week Challenge? I think that though I ended up getting hired to do 1. a job I was already doing and 2. a job that showed up long after this challenge, the challenge helped to really get me practice in writing a cover letter and doing interviews. But ultimately, I learned that while I was capable and experienced enough to do many of those jobs, I just didn't fit them and it wouldn't have been a good fit for me.

Now I've found some jobs that I do enjoy, even though it will take some time for me to adjust to it all.

Watching the Clouds - August 2011

2011-08-30T14:25:00.000-04:00

brightness

sky ferries and sea ferries

Beach Day - Nantasket and Nahant Beaches

2011-08-21T20:02:00.000-04:00

Well, these last couple weeks of August have been quite unpredictable and unfortunately not as beautiful. Though the rain is a nice relief from the humidity, its timing couldn't be any worse. It rained on a Wednesday a couple of weeks ago, and it interfered with the summer program's beach day.

But on Friday, August 12th, the summer program made it's way to Nantasket Beach, in Hull. I was looking forward to slightly warmer waters, even though it's still close to the Boston area.

The way the beach area is set up, there's a boardwalk that's raised above the actual beach area. Since it's a thin stretch of land, it's possible that the concrete wall really helped to ensure that the high tide wouldn't overtake the boardwalk.

The water was also really not as bad as it could have been, though we arrived at really high tide. It was still a tad bit colder than I would have liked, and yet it was really manageable. I didn't get to explore the area that much since I had to stay with the kids, but it looks like a nice place to revisit.

Decent beaches in the Boston area

The next day, a friend and I went to Nahant Beach, on the opposite side of the Boston area bay. The area that the public beach is located on is also another thin stretch of land and isn't too far from the city. On this day, perhaps because we got there later in the afternoon, the tide was extremely low. We walked quite a bit to get close enough to the water.

the shore and me

I'd have to say that I appreciate beaches with bath houses. It's nice to not have to worry about restrooms and changing rooms.

At Nahant, the water was surprisingly not bad for being more north of the city. It was also fairly shallow for quite a while. At one point, I noticed some interesting debris in the water. I thought it was small bits of seaweed, but as I looked closer I realized that whatever it was had legs and it looked like many of them were swimming towards me. I quickly ran out of the water for fear of being overtaken by a bunch of little creatures.

I asked my friend to come out into the water with me just to get a second opinion on what the little creatures were. She said that perhaps they were baby shrimp or other crustacean. I felt a little bit better about having possibly identified them. Then she said, "Hmm...well...I think I might have just gotten bitten." I quickly turned around again and made my way out of the water.

I don't know if it was just the specific time of the year or what, but there are little creatures at Nahant Beach. Otherwise, the water and the beach are really nice.

houses on Nahant

It was great to be out on the water for 2 days in a row. I haven't had the pleasure of doing something like this since last year at Santorini. It's also great to know that there are some decent beaches in the Boston area, and that I don't have to travel too far to get to them.

Random Thoughts about Drama

2011-08-18T23:33:00.000-04:00

I'm not going to get into the details, but I do have some thoughts.

I think a lot of drama is caused by miscommunication or lack of communication. Different communications styles and different personalities just don't mix as well sometimes, I guess.

You get your people who are all about confrontation and you get your people who avoid confrontation like the plague. Sometimes those two combine, and they get to teach each other something. Sometimes confrontation meets confrontation and avoiding meets avoiding. Sometimes they learn, too. Sometimes they explode.

I think a lot of drama is caused by inconsistency. Inconsistency just means that there's a lot of instability in certain aspects. Instability can make people nervous and feel unsafe.

Some folks can adapt and be flexible. But sometimes needing to be on your toes all the time will make you walk on eggshells all the time.

Now those are just my thoughts about general drama. Work drama is a different story altogether.

It's always interesting to see what the culture is at different work places.

Are people super friendly if you're new? Or are they kind of stand-offish and keep to their already formed groups? Are you given a tour of your work place? Or are you still uncertain about policies and procedures? Are the staff sharing responsibilities? Or are some people being taken advantage of or not pushing their weight?

How do those qualities play into the drama? Then when you include the different styles of communication, well...you see where I'm going.

Sometimes, people aren't aware of the weight that they carry. Be it with a supervisor or be it with other staff. Some people happen to carry the power, and not necessarily the role of supervisor or boss. This isn't necessarily a negative thing, however, since most people will use their power to ensure a positive working environment.

At least, I would hope so.

Toesies of the Month - August 2011

2011-08-15T23:18:00.001-04:00

In the height of summer, it was time to revisit one of my favorite nail colors. Sonic Bloom by OPI is the perfect bluish-greenish color. It's good for playing up your summer tan.

I was feeling the need for some pampering, and really felt that going after my physical therapy (where I get a bit of a shoulder massage at the end) would be the best time. The physical therapy office happens to be in the South End section of Boston, which meant that any nail place might be slightly more pricey. But I was pretty impressed with Town's Nails & Skin Salon.

But I was pleasantly surprised by the pricing for how nice the salon is. I believe the salon is fairly new, since the Google Maps Street View shows that it's still "Coming Soon." But everything was very sleek and quite clean.

Also, I was expecting that the nail technician would bring me a bunch of sample designs. But then, she just asked if I wanted flowers or lines. I said lines, but that I didn't really care. I was really also pleasantly surprised by the awesome design, though I'm more of a fan of mirror image designs.

Here's a better image of the design

So, high marks for City Nails & Spa.

I'm also just loving my nails right now. They're making me feel relaxed and calm amidst a lot of turmoil.

Yes, I'm still uncertain about what my next employment venture will be, though I am still a part of the summer/after school program. Yes, I'm still busy with different projects and social engagements, though I'm trying to be kinder to myself and my immune system.

But, things have felt rather unstable, to say the least. So, I guess my toes are reminding me that I'm still here, feet on the ground.

Hedonism Lite

2011-08-08T17:34:00.099-04:00

As part of the summer rituals, my friends and I travel up to the woods of Vermont to participate in the weekend of the All Night Costume Dance Party at Quarry Hill. Though it is usually on the first weekend of August, this year it was in the last weekend of July.

What is the All Night Costume Dance Party, you ask? Well, it started in 1984 as a birthday celebration for one of my good friends, when she was asked what she wanted to do for her birthday. She answered that she liked dancing, staying up all night, and costumes. Thus the All Night Costume Dance Party was born. Through the 27 years, it's grown into a reunion for the multitude of people who've lived there at some point, including international guests and children who grew up there. But at its core, it's a celebration of life.

female Oscar

What happens at the All Night Costume Dance Party, you ask? Well, it's pretty self-explanatory, don't you think? Every year, there's a theme. This year, the theme was "Hollywood." Though I initially thought of dressing as a homeless person, I decided to go for an Oscar award instead. Now, on the day of the party, there is also somewhat of a variety show/talent show. Different people sing, dance, and do other random interesting and entertaining acts. Then at 10pm, the party begins. Hopefully, you've got your nap on at some point that afternoon or evening, because the night can get difficult if you're not well rested. So, if you manage to dance the night away (while intermittently visiting the bonfire) and you see the sky starting to lighten, it's time to head to my friend's house where 1 batter of vegan and 1 batter of regular blueberry pancakes are awaiting the frying pan. The blueberries are from a farm right next door, and the batter is a secret recipe from my friend's step-father. After you've feasted on the delicious pancakes, it's time to crash out in your tent until the heat of the morning sun wakes you up.

It's an amazing weekend. One that's worth sharing with people who you know enjoy a good time with a bit of adventure.

Though our group wasn't as big or as small as it's been in the past couple of years, there were 3 newbies to the converts. One of the newbies spoke a bit about how she was exploring the idea of pleasure, and we decided to continuously remind her about finding her pleasure and exhibiting a bit of hedonism.

dancing and costuming

Of all the times and places, this weekend in Vermont was definitely a place to explore ones hedonistic side.

In the grand scheme of camping, this is really camping lite. There's still some access to bathrooms and running water, and usually access to a shower. Though the shower was out of commission this year, we still got a chance to clean up a bit at the nearby creek.

We even got to cook and share a delicious pasta dinner together with several other campers.

veggie pasta action

But there are still mosquitoes. And once again, I managed to get bitten several times in the course of 3 days. Bug spray was my friend, and I even invested in a clip on bug repellant.

This year, time seemed to fly by. It didn't seem like there was too much activity, and yet we managed to dance the night away without realizing how fast time was flying. Before we knew it, it was time for pancakes.

Though it was pouring rain the night we drove up, the rest of the weekend was absolutely wonderful.

Then it was time to rejoin civilization. But, as it turned out, the hedonism wasn't quite over.

Early on the 2nd, another friend who was unable to join us in Vermont decided we needed to continue our friend's birthday celebration by doing a bit of skinny dipping at one of the local beaches.

As the evening neared, I became uncertain about whether I would join. I attended a Hawaiian slack key guitar performance that was so beautiful and relaxing that I was literally falling asleep in the restaurant. It had been a long day already, and I was exhausted.

But at the last minute, it turned out that I didn't actually have a choice about whether I would be attending or not. My friend and I were to pick up another friend and meet the other 3 at Revere Beach.

I was so glad I didn't lame out. I would have been devastated if I didn't make it to the beach that night!

At first we were nervous. Was it illegal for us to be on the beach after sunset? It was definitely illegal for us to get into the water completely naked. Was it going to be freezing since it had rained earlier that day?

But then we decided, to hell with it. How often do we get to do this? We had decided to just go in topless at the chance that the cops did show up; it would also make for a quick get-away. After we set up our blanket near the water, we checked the temperature. It was surprisingly not as bad as it could have been, and that just made us more determined to go for it.

At the stroke of midnight, the 6 of us went running into the Atlantic Ocean, alive and free. It felt so good, we did it twice! I don't believe anyone went in completely, but we definitely got ourselves good and wet.

free women

It was amazing. Absolutely amazing. What a wonderful way to spend a 40th birthday.

After dining on some delicious banana bread and reflecting on our spontaneous adventure, we were all ready to head to dreamland. I truly feel blessed to know that I have these type of women in my life. I can only hope that my 30th and my 40th birthdays are spent with such powerful and inspiring people.

Beach Day: Crane Beach

2011-08-07T10:14:00.000-04:00

On Wednesday, July 27th, the summer program got on several yellow school buses and headed for the North Shore of Massachusetts. This beach day was spent at Crane Beach, where the water is freezing once again.

But the sand was fine and the weather was gorgeous!

Crane Beach

There's something quintessential about sand dunes at New England beaches. Whereas the beaches stretch out for miles on the California coast, these beaches are punctuated by grassy dunes and marshes. Though, I'd have to say that I don't agree with how the majority of nice beaches have a fee.

Regardless of the freezing cold water, I still braved it and managed to stay in the water the majority of the time. Believe you me, this is really difficult for someone who's been blessed enough to know the pleasure of more tropical waters. But, for the kids, I braved it.

my poor freezing toesies

The water was amazing, however. Clear and casting a blueish-green hue.

Crane Beach is really nicely kept. There are outdoor showers to help rinse off the sand, and a fairly accommodating changing area. Though, this isn't necessarily surprising to anyone who noticed the signs for the Crane Estate as we were pulling up to the beach parking area.

The one part about these New England beaches that I'm not the biggest fan of is the bugs. Big green flies and mosquitoes are just flying around the more marshy areas of the beaches, waiting to bite at my ankles. In fact, I had 1 huge bug bite from Crane Beach that made my ankle swell up a bit and itch for a week.

Still, Crane Beach was a good time with the program. I had fun swimming around with the kids and joking around with the staff.

I'd have to say, speaking of the staff, that it's been a pleasant work environment. Though I'm one of the older staff and I'm probably the one with the most advanced degree among the group leaders, I know that I'm blessed to have a bunch of like-minded people to work with. Even when the kids frustrate us to no end, we all are still able to laugh about the ridiculous things kids try to pull among other more adult levels of hilarity.

Working full-time in the summer isn't ideal, but at least we get to play and have fun.

Beach Day: Houghton's Pond

2011-08-06T09:37:00.000-04:00

Goodness. It's been a busy summer. I have so much to share!!

Though it's not as relaxing as it can be, I've been able to go to the beach almost every week at the summer program. So, I'm going to write a little bit about the beaches we've been to.

Houghton's Pond is located in the Blue Hills of the Greater Boston area. It seems like it's a great place to go hiking and to have some outdoor BBQ action. When we went on July 20th, the program took advantage of the BBQ pits and the beach area of the pond.

I had never swum in a pond before. Up in Maine, the boyfriend's family took me canoeing and we swam around a bit in the river. But swimming in a pond has not really come up.

Compared to the coldness of Singing Beach, Houghton's Pond was an absolute pleasure to swim in. It really felt like bath water. I suppose that in general pond water isn't super clear, since there's dirt and rocks from the forest floor. But it felt really pleasant to swim in. We also got to share the water with some geese.

honk honk, said the goose

The swimming area was pretty shallow, so it was a great place to take the younger kids. At some point, the little kids decided that they wanted to hold on to me while I swam under water like a mermaid. That was pretty fun, actually.

There were quite a number of people at Houghton's Pond for a Wednesday. It was difficult not to run into other people while playing around in the water. Still, it was a pretty nice place to be.

Gorgeous day for a swim

Toesies of the Month - July 2011

2011-07-18T20:02:00.001-04:00

Though I've gone from 3 jobs to 2 jobs, I still seem to be fairly busy. Any little chance I get to be lazy or to take care of myself, I definitely try to take advantage of it.

I knew the upcoming weeks were going to get pretty busy, so when I had the chance to be near a nail salon I hopped right to it. After meeting a friend for a late lunch, I walked down to Newbury Street and hit up the first nail place I came across. That salon happened to be Town's Nail and Skin Salon, which is located on a lower level section next to Trident Bookstore.

While it wasn't the cleanest of salons, I was pretty impressed by their service and their prices. A pedicure with a design was only $30! And the girl who did designs had her own tools and little bag of colors. She also did a pretty awesome job. But it was really quite an upgrade from when I thought using a sticker would work.

Nail Technician - Kim
Nail Design - Amy
Town's Nail & Skin Salon, Boston, MA
Color: OPI - Hungary for My Honey
Occasion: Celebrating the season of my natural color
July 2011

I originally thought I was going to go for another tealy-turquoisey blue. But, some of the orangey-coppery stuff was catching my eye. I figured I needed to embrace some of the Leo aspect since we're coming up on that Astrological sign. I need to be a little bit fiery and energetic these days.

waiting for the B

Beach Day - Dennis and Plymouth

2011-07-17T23:35:00.000-04:00

I originally planned to do absolutely nothing this past weekend.

Absolutely nothing.

But when my friends asked if I was interested to join them in a beach day on the Cape, I couldn't say no. I had only been to the Cape once before to explore the area, but it was still pretty chilly in May.

Earlier in the week, I went with the camp to Singing Beach (so called because the sand squeaks when you hit it at a certain angle). The sand was ridiculously hot and the water was ridiculously cold. It really should be illegal for beach water to be that cold.

But I managed to submerge myself underwater several times, but it surely felt like I might go into shock. Still, even with nearly 100 kids, we survived.

Exhausted...but happy...and on a yellow bus...

So, it was difficult for me to believe that any beach water in Massachusetts could be manageable. But we made our way to Dennis, which was located on the bicep of the Cape arm.

It's definitely worth it to get up early to make it to the Cape, just so you wouldn't have to park super far away from the actual shore. However, with thanks to the town of Dennis' Beach Department (I love that they have a Beach Department!!!), if you pay the $20 to park at one beach parking, you can then park at any other Dennis beach parking lot.

At first, we stopped at Chapin Beach. Though there was a line to get into the lot, it seemed that people were heading out fairly quickly. We learned that it was because of the swarm of flies that were coming from the marsh on the other side of the dunes. Those flies were pretty brutal, really. I counted about 5 different bug bites at the end of the day.

Really, the best way to avoid the flies was to get into the water. I was shocked at how warm the water was compared to Singing Beach! So I was quite the happy camper.

Chapin Beach
July 16, 2011

There were also tons of little fishies swimming around! I overheard a man telling his son that they were minnows, so I'm going to take his word for it.

Fishies, algae, seaweed, tosies

At some point, we started snacking on what we packed. My friend asked if we wanted some chicken, which we enthusiastically said yes to. Never would I have ever guessed that she would bring out an entire rotisserie chicken. But never would I have ever guessed that it is really kind of a genius idea.

Chicken? Heck, ya!

After a short while, we got pretty sick of avoiding the flies, and decided to explore the town. We ended up at the Cape Cod Chat House, which has a wonderful courtyard area where you can sit and enjoy an iced beverage and pastry.

playing with my new hair piece from Siren's Grotto on Etsy

Eventually, we decided it was nap time. We braved another wait for parking at Mayflower Beach, and it was most definitely worth the wait.

gorgeous waters and clouds

There's a lot more space, and almost every inch of the beach was filled with people and their beach accessories. But by 3 or 4 in the afternoon with high tide behind us, the shore was shallow for a good while. I felt like I was walking and walking and walking and that the ocean might just take me.

It was gorgeous. It's definitely worth it to make the early morning trek to get to Mayflower Beach. Be patient with the morning/merging traffic and with the wait for parking. But believe me, it is worth it.

After floating around in the water, napping, and sunning, one of my friends suggested that we head to Plymouth for dinner. Though we ended up there just in time for the dinner rush, we eventually settled at the Blue Eyed Crab. The food was pretty good and filling. I had a crab burger...num!

Cheers to a successful beach day!

I was definitely nicely sunned and sleepy by the end of it all. And I'm looking forward to more beach days with the kids, my fellow staff, and with friends.

Sade at TD Bank Garden

2011-07-07T22:50:00.001-04:00

For the boyfriend's early birthday present, I decided it was high time he got to see one of his favorite artists.

So, I got us tickets to see the one and only Sade!

At first, it didn't seem like he really wanted to go. But since I bought the tickets, he didn't really have much of a choice.

Truth be told, I didn't actually splurge being that we're under a tight budget. I also figured that since Sade's music is relatively mellow, that we wouldn't necessarily need to be so super up close.

Unfortunately, I only had the camera phone on me.

Boy, it definitely would have been worth it to buy at least 1 price range up!

Firstly, Sade doesn't really tour much at all. I believe it's been at least 10 years since her last tour. I know the boyfriend hadn't ever seen her perform, and he's been a fan for a long time. The fact that she doesn't tour much is a good enough reason on it's own to see her.

Secondly, the visuals of her performance were utterly amazing, not to mention the fact that Sade herself is pure beauty.


One of the many videos that played in the background during the songs. I believe this was for "Kiss of Life"

Can you believe she's 52 years old??? She looks amazing! Honestly, she herself was breathtaking.

"Kiss of Life" with Sade in a gorgeous green dress in the video

She played some of her amazing hits, starting with "Soldier of Love" to "Smooth Operator" to "Jezebel" to "No Ordinary Love" and ending with "Cherish the Day." Though I was exhausted and tired, it just felt so amazing to be in her presence.

She also moved around quite a bit, at one point taking the entire band to the stage left corner for an more intimate set. She also had about 4 costume changes.

White gown

The only outfit I didn't get a picture of was her "Smooth Operator" outfit, which was suit pants, vest, and button-down shirt.

Lady in Red on a platform

The next time Sade comes through whatever town I happen to be living in, there will not be a question about whether I will see her or not. There are so few performers who seem to really sing from the heart anymore, especially in such a vulnerable setting like an arena concert. To bear so much in such a huge space can be daunting. But Sade pulls it off with all the grace, beauty, and passion, without giving away too much of herself.

Day 30: Older and Wiser and Mermaidier

2011-06-30T19:10:00.001-04:00

This picture is for my best friend, since she asked for me to take a picture of my hair of the day.

Well, I feel like I really could have done a lot better with the 30 Day Challenge. But, I really got to enjoy learning how to mess with my camera application on my phone.

It was the longest month of my life, thus far. I'm really glad I got to participate in the 30 Day Challenge since it reminded me to slow down and notice things around me.

I probably won't stop taking random pictures, since I enjoy it so much. But I definitely would recommend taking 30 Day Challenges that make you look beyond what you usually do.

Day 29: Lesson Plan

2011-06-29T21:22:00.000-04:00

Today, I had to create a lesson plan to turn in to the Sexuality Education Certification Series. It is a way for facilitators to know that we had learned something.

Today was the last day of our training.

I am officially certified to teach a sexuality curriculum!

Today, I also updated my resume.

Day 28: Sun Worship

2011-06-28T20:41:00.000-04:00

As the sun was setting, it looked so big and orange! It was beautiful!

Day 27: New Brain Wrinkle

2011-06-27T21:17:00.000-04:00

These last 2 weeks of June are all about training.

Last week it was all training for the summer camp, including a bogus training on bullying. This week it's all about getting sex educator certified, and the end of the week is the beginning of the summer camp.

I feel like this might be a cop out...but I do feel like I've created some new tiny brain wrinklies.

So that's what I'm claiming for today. The image below is from a printout of an actual MRI of my brain, which I got from doing an experiment 6 years back. I bet I have more wrinklies now!

Day 26: Urban Ferris Wheel

2011-06-26T20:20:00.000-04:00

Day 25: Lights, Lanterns, and Leaves

2011-06-25T22:25:00.000-04:00

Day 24: Scenes From a Singular Breakfast

2011-06-24T23:03:00.000-04:00

Day 23: No Rest In the Rain

2011-06-23T21:44:00.001-04:00

Day 22: Just Sayin', Historically Speaking

2011-06-22T22:13:00.000-04:00

Day 21: Longest Summer Day

2011-06-21T21:50:00.001-04:00

West to East, Night to Day.

Happy Summer Solstice Everyone!

Day 20: Walking Through the North End

2011-06-20T21:05:00.000-04:00

Simple Pleasures Sunday and Day 19: A New Appreciation

2011-06-19T10:44:00.000-04:00

I've always been a sunset kind of girl. Having lived on the West Coast for most of my life, spending full days at the beach, you get an amazing appreciation for the sunsets.

After long days of working, the sunset signals a glorious end and a time for rest. Sometimes it's a beautiful light show that plays off the clouds and the atmosphere (in the case of L.A, it would interact with the smog).

But after having to wake up at the butt-crack of dawn to make it to bootcamp, and with the days getting longer, the sunrises have grabbed my attention. I'd have to say that I definitely have a new appreciation for sunrises, one that I have never had before. Though, I'm still not a fan of waking up early, the sunrise makes it better.

Day 18: A City Prepares for Champions

2011-06-18T10:06:00.000-04:00

Day 17: Tosies of the Month - June 2011

2011-06-17T20:41:00.002-04:00

It was time. Desperately so.

I needed to remove myself from completing the necessary hours to make my way to the nail salon. Since I was around the downtown area, I quickly ran to get my first mani/pedi before heading to another appointment.

I've been wanting to get me some of that color on my toes for a while! The color is part of the Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides series. I was very happy to see it in this nail salon.

Though it's not a color I would chose if it hadn't had that particular name. However, it is a great summer color.

The design...well..it was designed by a another male nail technician. They tend to get quite creative, huh?

Here are some samples he had on his desk.

Exotic, no?

Still, I was feeling so relaxed, and extremely happy knowing that all I have to worry about tomorrow is a social event. So relaxed that I barely even used the massager on the chair.

Yay for happier (and better) toes!

Day 16: I'm Still Here

2011-06-16T22:45:00.017-04:00

Trying not to get lost in the
shuffle of day to day.
Adjusting to what I was told
was the right thing to do,
still holding on to the hope
of stability.
Trying to find my way in
my own way.
Knowing that choices still exist
even when there are none,
I'm still here looking for
the rest of me.

Day 15: Panorama Dance Studio Entryway

2011-06-15T23:41:00.001-04:00

Click on the picture to see it enlarged. You'll see that I spun around and took pictures at each step.

Day 14: Early Morning Passengers

2011-06-14T20:59:00.001-04:00

Day 13: Pick Me Up

2011-06-13T21:46:00.003-04:00

It's been about half a month since I've been able to properly sleep in without having to work or go to a training or go to bootcamp...or...or...or...

*phew*

I'm pretty exhausted. I mean, it's great and all, what with getting paid. But I would love to sleep in and wake up and do abso-freakin'-lutely nothing.

As of right now, the next time I'll be able to sleep in and not worry about having to do anything that day is the 26th.

The 26th, y'all.

13 more days.

Oy...my brain hurts just thinking about that.

Luckily, there's coffee.


Starbucks at Boston's City Hall Plaza June 13, 2011

Simple Pleasures Sundays and Day 12 - Kitty Toes

2011-06-12T22:27:00.000-04:00

One of my favorite things is when Yoni sits on my lap and cleans her toesies.

Day 11: Happy Boston Gay Pride Weekend!

2011-06-11T10:52:00.000-04:00

Day 10: Lifting the Lorax

2011-06-10T17:25:00.001-04:00

The Lorax is by far my favorite Dr. Seuss story. It always has been, and it always will be.

"I am the Lorax! I speak for the trees!"

When I was younger, I really truly believed that truffula trees existed somewhere once.

Like the Lorax, I feel like I will speak for something until change is made. But even the Lorax knows when to take himself elsewhere. Sometimes it takes hitting the bottom to be able to lift yourself up from it.

I took this picture at a school where I was interviewing for a potentially full-time permanent job. And I learned today that I didn't get that position.

But truth be told, knowing that they were considering making me an offer created more anxiety for me. It was really similar to the previous program in that it was working with K-8 schools; however, it's located in a more stable (read: wealthier) party of the city.

I should have jumped at this offer, right? But I didn't. I didn't because I had already agreed to do full time hours at the summer program, and I was feeling anxious about suddenly going back on that agreement.

But on this same day, I also was given an opportunity to be trained as a certified sex educator. Certified. It's something I've wanted for a long time. I jumped at this opportunity.

I feel like something is happening. I'm trying to really figure out who I want to be in this world, what kind of Lorax I want to be. And the opportunities are finally making their way through the smog.

I just have to lift myself through it.

Day 9: Be Kind to Yourself

2011-06-09T17:53:00.004-04:00

Day 8: Light In The Day

2011-06-08T21:48:00.001-04:00

Day 7: Yoni Collage

2011-06-07T18:01:00.000-04:00

Day 6: Old and Dusty

2011-06-06T17:55:00.000-04:00

Working in City Hall in the past week has been exhausting due to the schedule, but absolutely fascinating to be surrounded by so many historical documents.

Date says
18 October 1684

Simple Pleasures Sundays and Day 5: Nature Amidst Industry

2011-06-05T17:51:00.010-04:00

It has been much cooler the past couple of days in Boston, but the sun has been shining and the days have been beautiful. I've been having the urge to just sit outside, anywhere outside, to enjoy the sunshine.

In Boston, it's great to be able to walk around and then stumble upon a "bit of Earth", as though I've stumbled upon a secret garden. Obviously, it's generally not a secret garden in the middle of the city. But it's still quite impressive that the city has done a fairly decent job of maintaining a green space.

Today, I was going down to Dorchester for the Dorchester Day Parade. As we were looking for the start of the parade, we passed by the old Baker Chocolate Factory-turned-Apartment. Running through it was a little brook.

It honestly reminded me of the Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (the O.G. one, people) with the chocolate river. Even more honestly, it kind of looked like it, though I couldn't really say it was from the chocolate.

So, for my Day 5, I present to you this little bit of Earth and Water.

Day 5
Dorchester, MA

Day 4: Mencken Collage

2011-06-04T19:41:00.001-04:00

Day 3: Still Sore from Bootcamp Challenge

2011-06-03T22:34:00.016-04:00

Holy moly, y'all.

This is actually an "off" week for the bootcamp regular classes. However, as the trainers like to keep us challenged, they set up a marathon obstacle course for the regulars.

They called it the Gazelle Gauntlet. From the description, it looked like hell. It looked like it would be the most challenging thing ever.

Originally, I wasn't going to do it because I didn't want to try to have to feel competitive around the more advanced bootcampers. I know I shouldn't feel competitive. But it's almost like performing for me. I felt like I'd be hoping on stage without any knowledge of what I was doing.

But a week before the marathon, our trainer sent an email encouraging all of us to sign up and go for it. He also called me out in the email. I was the only one to get called out in the email for joking about there needing to be an ambulance at the finished line.

After reading that email, I was fired up. I signed up for it and convinced myself that it would just be like regular bootcamp where I wouldn't necessarily know what we were doing that day. Though, I must say that not knowing is a lot better than knowing.

When I arrived, I saw a small group of my foundation bootcamp compadres. It felt good to see the familiar faces and knowing that we were all doing it together. The majority of folks, however, were definitely some of the more advanced (read: fit) folks.

The head trainer started going through the different obstacle courses, which started with climbing over a 3-foot high chain-link fence, included crawling under barbed wire, running a half mile to another park to do some agility exercises, running back to finish with run up and down a set of stairs 5 times.

Suffice it to say, I finished last. I didn't run the whole way through, and I'm pretty sure I accidentally missed part of the course.

The worst thing was that I had trouble getting over the freakin' chain link fence!!! My shoes were slipping on the metal, and for some reason I couldn't lift myself over the fence!! I couldn't believe it. But I pushed myself to get up there, even though I could have just run to the entrance.

Honestly, I'm really irritated that I had so much trouble getting over the fence. I know it's silly to be pissed about it. Don't get me wrong, I can laugh about how ridiculous I must have looked. But it still got me feeling really defeated, and it was the first thing we had to do. It's the upper body strength that I need to work on, apparently.

But it was great to be encouraged by my fellow bootcamp-mates. It was great to finish it, even though it was the first time I felt like crying during bootcamp.

Two days later, I'm still feeling sore, both physically and mentally/emotionally about the literal hurdle I had to climb. But I'm also feeling really strong and really proud of myself for signing up, for showing up, and for finishing it.

With that, I present to you my creation for the 30 Days of Creativity.

my very first marathon bib
with a buff mermaid

Day 2: Stormy Spring/Summer Weather

2011-06-02T23:57:00.000-04:00

If you're aware of what's going on in the world and in the United States, there have been some extremely devastating tornadoes in the past couple of weeks.

Here in Massachusetts, tornadoes touched down in the center of the state in the cities of Sprinfield and Bromfield. It's horrible to know that something like that would happen so close to where I live. I know it sounds weird to say this, but sometimes watching things on the news makes it seem much further away than it is.

But last night, it really felt and looked as though a tornado could make its way through the city.

Before I moved to Boston, thunder and lightening were really quite frightening. But they are just so intense here, that it just became quite fascinating to watch. In fact, they became awe-inspiring.

Nature's violent work of art.

I had to capture it on video.

Video taken on June 1, 2011. Brighton, MA
Song: "Across the Universe" by Jason Falkner on "Bedtime With The Beatles"

2 Year Blogoversary on My Parents' 30th Anniversary with 30 Days of Creativity

2011-06-01T18:33:00.069-04:00

Today is quite an auspicious day, if I do say so myself.

On June 1st, 1981, my amazing parents became husband and wife. Thirty years later, they have 3 *pretty awesome* kids, a beautiful home, and a loving marriage.

I joked the other day to the boyfriend (though it was more of a "hint hint"), that part of the reason why they've stayed together for so long is because they Swiffer the house every day.

But in all seriousness, the fact that they both take responsibility for the household and for their kids is generally a strong indicator of the strength of a marriage. I told them about my joke, and after they laughed they also agreed.

So, for the love of my parents, here's part 1 of my creative item.

Boston, MA
June 1, 2011

On June 1, 2009, I was inspired to create a blog and write my first blog post about all the changes I've been going through in my late 20s.

There's been a lot of ups and downs and lots of changes. But I'm glad to say that I haven't stopped looking up at the clouds and in the ocean for inspiration.

I've gone on a couple of trips, and I've participated in a couple of other blog events. My blog has changed and grown, and still continues to change and grow. But I really enjoy working on it, both on the design and on writing posts.

I'm not trying to get famous or anything. My brain is just full of different things, and this has been one of the best places for my regurgitation.

So, for the love of my blog, here's part 2 of my creative item.

Boston, MA
June 1, 2011

Outside of the One World One Heart events, I've not actually participated in a month-long event where I have to post every single day. I will definitely try my best to do so for the 30 Days of Creativity event.

This month is bound to be an interesting one. Between attempting to work 40 hours at City Hall, continuing subbing at the after school then going full time at their summer program, pushing to keep my side job appointments, among trying to have a social life and continue going to dance class...well, this month is going to be full.

Though it might not seem like I need another thing on my plate, I really think the 30 Days of Creativity will help to keep me grounded and sane.

Happy June Everyone!

Mermaids as The New "It" Thing

2011-05-30T10:45:00.136-04:00

Straight up, I'm having some mixed feeling about this. There's a part of me that's extremely extremely excited about having so many mermaid events, movies, and books coming out in the next couple of years. Then, there's the other part that makes me nervous that mermaids won't be portrayed in the way that so many of us love them.

Then there's the issue of the bandwagon jumpers. I know there are so many folks who love mermaids the way I do. But I get nervous that people will be into the trend not because they love mermaids, but because it's the trend.

Does that make sense?

But, let me backtrack. Let me gush about all the exciting things that are happening in the mermaid world. I'm going to do it in order of the things I'm LEAST excited about (so that I can get the snark out of the way) to the things I'm MOST excited about.

Stephanie Meyer, the author of Twilight, takes on mermaids
*groan* *eyes roll*

Really? I'm sorry if you're a Twi-tard...but I absolutely disagree with this. Here's an article about what she's been up to and planning:
http://www.nypost.com/p/entertainment/movies/stephenie_meyer_no_DgiDULW5T8tmOlNIhQDJ1K

Apparently, she's been interested in writing a new novel about mermaids. But I just can't help but feel she will screw with the mythology and just fuck it all up (pardon my language).

In my opinion, she ruined vampires and werewolves, especially considering that she had not ever read Bram Stoker's Dracula. I'm not really going to be okay with her ruining mermaids. I really am not.

Well, this is actually the only thing I'm not at all looking forward to. So on to the more exciting things!

Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides
On the whole, I have enjoyed the Pirates movies, even though I think Orlando Bloom is a horrible actor and Keira Knightly is just too damn skinny but feel kind of ambivalent about her. Johnny Depp, though, well...he's hilarious and just seems like a really down to earth person even though he picks the wackiest roles.

But when I saw the first previews for this 4th movie and spotted the mermaids, well, I was excited all over again! Then I saw a preview of it in the theaters, and was honestly shocked to know that mermaids play such an important role in the movie!

Basically, the plot of this Pirates movie is that Jack and his comrades are looking for the Fountain of Youth, which can only be found using the help of, you guest it, mermaids!!

Well, once I realized how important they were to the plot of the movie, my desire to watch this in the theater went from 0 to 10. I might just check it one on a random weekday.

Possible Live Action "The Little Mermaid"
Here's the article that I saw posted somewhere:
http://perezhilton.com/2011-05-23-the-little-mermaid-gets-two-adaptations

I would love to see a live action movie of Andersen's version of the story! It's obviously the better version, though I also love the Disney movie(s...though the 2nd one entitled "Return to the Sea" kind of pissed me off a bit). But to finally get a well made movie by a pretty decent director would be great!

Of course, it's up to us sirenophiles to be the ultimate judge of that movie. But I do hope it comes through and more information will come out soon!

"Mermaid" by Carolyn Turgeon
If you clicked on the link about about movie, you would have also seen that there's another movie out in the works.

This book has been on the top of my Amazon wish list for a while, and you better believe that when my finances are more in order that I'll be ordering me a bunch of books!

The "twist on the classic tale" is absolutely fascinating! I personally have always sided with the Little Mermaid's point of view. Call me biased, but I just couldn't help but feel more connected to the mermaid. So, I'd love to read another mermaid-lover's take on the other princess' point of view.

Carolyn also has an awesome blog which I've been trying to catch up on where she interviews different folks who are involved directly or indirectly with the mermaid world.

Ariel's Undersea Adventure in California Adventure
I've been looking forward to this for forEVER! I had the pleasure of going to Disneyland and California Adventure twice last year, and I definitely plan on making it there again before the year is over!

On June 3rd, the ride will open to the public. So, the next time I make it to California Adventure, I plan on hitting up Ariel's Grotto (finally...I just have never been able to make it in time), Ariel's Undersea Adventure, and resting up on King Triton's Carousel of the Sea.

Me on the dolphin back in January 2010

But here's a video of the ride from someone who got to ride the preview of it. It's not as exciting as I would have liked necessarily, though I'm not really sure what I would have wanted from it. I do think that there was a lot of potential if this ride was a water ride, though I suppose there are already a couple of water rides in California Adventure. The animation of the characters is pretty amazing, actually! I think that's the most amazing part of it.

The First Annual MerCon & World Mermaid Awards
I mean, really, how could I not be the MOST excited about this??? Even though there's no way in hell I'll be able to afford to go this year (and I need to lose a couple of lbs before I get myself a mermaid tail), it's so exciting to be keeping an eye on how this first event is transpiring.

The World Mermaid Awards and MerCon is meant to celebrate all the sirenophiles out there as well as those who help us all live in the fantasy.

Part of the event will feature a convention full of artists, vendors, mermaid camps, and mermaid tail makers.

Mermaid. Tail. Makers.

Oh, one day...one day, I will have my own tail.

Oh! AND there's a Mermaid Pool Party featuring different professional mermaids! People get to literally sit and swim around in their tails. *gush*

I wish wish wish I could go to this. It's almost as if the Mermaid Parade in Coney Island and the World Mermaid Awards bookend the summer. And it's awesome.

So, like I said in the beginning, I have some mixed feelings about all this.

There's so much potential for all us mermaid lovers to get more from our community. But I want *real* mermaid lovers (and I'm not going to define that...since I believe there are different levels of love), not posers who are getting into it because it's a trend and then move on to the next "It" thing.

But, I think the rest of us mermaids will be able to weed out those who are the real mermaids and those who are humans dressed as mermaids.

Simple Pleasures Sundays - Sunshine

2011-05-29T11:00:00.014-04:00

After what seemed to be an extremely dreary Spring, the sun has finally returned. And so has the humidity.

I had a feeling that this was going to be the trend as this past winter was so long and so intense, summer is not one to be out shined. But all of us here in the Northeast couldn't be happier.

Prior to the "unofficial start of summer" (a.k.a. Memorial Day Weekend), I've already had the pleasure of riding topless in top-down cars (meaning the cars were topless...hahahaha!), sitting in the grass, and putting my face to the sun.

This is the season that makes me love living in Boston. All the free and upcoming events, all the trips to the beach, all the being outdoors. It's fabulous.

taken with Camera360 app

I am extremely simply happy and content about this weather, and I hope it seeps into other aspects of my life.

taken with Retro Camera app

Week of Advocacy

2011-05-28T10:30:00.015-04:00

It turns out that I'm full of much more gumption than I thought I was. In all this time, being unemployed can really make you feel at your lowest.

Apparently, according to different things people are hearing, employers aren't hiring those who aren't already working. Which is a horrible way to go about business if you ask me. It doesn't lessen the unemployment rates if the unemployed folks who are looking aren't getting hired. In fact, it's ridiculous and counterproductive.

In turn, the fact that employers are following this trend makes me think that it would contribute to the lowering self-worth that us unemployed folks have felt. "No one is hiring me, regardless of my skills because I'm not already part of the work force. I must not be worth the chance."

Then, when an opportunity presents itself, one has to muster up whatever sort of positive energy they have to then project how amazing and awesome they actually are as a person and an employee. But if you've been feeling so low for so long, this is easier said than done.

This past week, I've really had to do some quick turnaround in terms of my self-esteem. Luckily, I've had a lot of people support me when I would tell them about what was going on in my job search. Talking with some of them helped me remember that I had more options that I remembered.

workisnotajob.com

This past week, I really had the opportunity to put my macro social work skills into action by negotiating the terms of my employment, something I wouldn't have ever thought I could do while unemployed.

So, when it came to accepting the full-time temporary position at the after school/summer program, I wanted to make sure to ask about a slight pay increase after the full training. My supervisor sent the request to HR, which means that he would support it.

Considering my education level, I know I could be paid much more than I was getting. Just his willingness to consider it, regardless of whether I get a raise at all, had made it worth my asking.

Then, I had another interview scheduled. Just because I have an idea of what's going on for me this summer definitely doesn't mean that I should rest on my laurels too much. So, as it was clear that the interview was going relatively well, I asked about what time frame they were looking at.

I let both of my interviewers know that I had agreed to work full time for the summer, and "I'm the kind of person who feels that when I start something, I finish it." Both were impressed by my loyalty, and were extremely open to the idea of having someone start later than they both projected. Again, even if they don't end up hiring me, it feels good to know that I stood up for myself and my schedule.

Remember a couple of posts back, when I was having some anxiety about my work schedule at City Hall? I had the chance to talk face to face with my employer and future co-workers. After filling out the necessary paperwork, I then had a chance to speak with the woman who's been trying to hire me.

I let her know that while we had agreed on the month of June, that because I hadn't really heard about any final details that I had to make some plans. Thus, I have a couple of weekends when I wouldn't be able to work. However, I'm more than willing to come in on evenings during the week.

After a bit of balking, I realized that while they were a bit worried about the space in their office, they didn't necessarily know where and when people were in different locations. I'm still going to be working on the weekends and some evenings, however I am also going in on Tuesday morning. But I let them know that there were just several days that I couldn't do it. It's just how it is.

You can't possibly expect that I've been sitting around twiddling my thumbs and not making plans. At one point, they said that they were workaholics. I get that, I really do. But that's not the road I want to go down, and if they want to hire me I need to set a precedence for how I plan to work.

I'll work hard and earn my keep. But I'll be damned if I let this get in the way of my self-care, my happiness, and my goals.

workisnotajob.com

So, as the weekend has arrived, I'm really happy to know that I have a group of people who have supported me through my continuing rough times. And I'm extremely proud of myself for what I was able to advocate for. That is, I advocated for me.

Toesies of the Month - May 2011

2011-05-25T14:03:00.000-04:00

I have to admit. My toes for the month are pretty ghetto.

Don't get me wrong. They're pretty. But they're also kind of ghetto.

Of course, with the funds dwindling still, I decided it was high time that I did my own toes. It isn't too bad, but of course I wanted to have something fun like the awesome designs that previous nail technicians have done.

But I don't have any of those skills. So I had to get creative.

I remembered that I had a bunch of star stickers that I had bought randomly at Staples. I thought, why the heck not?

Ready to see them?


Designed by yours truly, Brighton, MA Color: Orly - Meet Me Under the Mistletoe Occasion: Toes needed some lovin' May 2011

*supah stah*

Well, the stars, being stickers, are relatively flat and my toe nails are not. So, I had to to a little bit of pushing the little corners down. Hopefully, they will survive my moving around throughout the day.

The color is a really pretty dark green with sparklies that I stumbled upon at CVS. The bottle is tiny, and seemed to be the last of its kind. It was like it was meant for me.

I have another job interview tomorrow (I know that I was super overwhelmed in my last post about jobs, but I figure it wouldn't hurt to continue interviewing), so I won't paint my fingers til Friday perhaps. But I'm really liking this color.

Though, perhaps next time I will invest in little nail stickies.

Unemployment Woes Temporarily on Hiatus

2011-05-24T15:57:00.000-04:00

Last week, I had two interviews. They were at places that I knew I could excel at. Then on Friday, I get an email from the after school where I've been subbing.

They offered me a summer job. I don't think there are too many benefits, really. But it would be full time. It's a job.

I agonized over this all weekend. There was definitely a part of me that hoped the Rapture would come not only for my own sick fascination, but just so I wouldn't have to make a decision.

I knew that the other jobs were still in the midst of their interviewing process, and it seemed like I had always been the first person they interviewed for the specific positions. At this point, there's still a possibility of getting second interviews.

But I had to make a choice. And really, this was the only choice offered to me thus far. I had to take it.

I'm about to see if I can finagle getting a couple of cents or even a dollar more in terms of wage. I also let my supervisor know that I have made some plans, but that the rest of my summer is fairly open.

I know that if something better were to come up, I could always let them know that my plans have changed. But I honestly feel like that is bad form, and not necessarily helpful in terms of building a relationship for future references.

I just happen to be the kind of person who tries to finish what I start, even if it takes me the longest time to get to the finish.

So, while I still need money now and I'm still not going to stop interviewing, I feel a lot less stressed about what is happening in my life.

Lastly, I wanted to share a hilarious cover letter that was posted on the Huffington Post. Clearly, I should have taken a tip from this guy for a guaranteed hire.

I can do a Rubik's Cube!

******UPDATE******
So, I've now also been asked to work at City Hall for the month of June. But this means 20 hours in a so-busy-but-they-don't-really-have-room-in-the-office so I'll have to do some weekend hours with another person there who's trained.

What?

I know I need the money, so I agreed to it. But I'm literally having an anxiety attack right now. I unfortunately haven't really been sitting around saving my weekends for this job. In fact, I just agreed to do a Survivor Speaker Training at the Boston Area Rape Crisis Center on the first weekend of June. Plus, I have my night job. Plus, there's a wedding mid-month.

I mean, there HAS to be some flexibility, right?

This is a really good lesson for me. Not only will I have to ask for a slightly higher pay from the summer program, but I will also have to ask for some flexibility from City Hall.

This will be a true test in self-care, I think. I have to learn how to ask for what I'm worth. I'm worth more pay and I'm worth some flexibility in terms of hours.

Goddamnit.

Talking Tunes: "Rapture" by Blondie

2011-05-21T09:44:00.000-04:00

I'm not really sure how it initially came up, but back in high school my friends and I got to talking about the Revelations from the Bible. It's quite possible that this conversation came up because our 10th grade Honors English teacher made the Bible our required reading.

I didn't go to a Catholic school or any other religious school. I went to a college prep high school. Our teacher spoke of the importance of knowing where other literary works got their inspirations from.

Yeah...that seemed like a bullshit reason to me as well. Yet, I read the entire thing, though I can't say I remember all of it.

Anyways, my friends and I got to talking about Revelations and about the end of the world. Most of us believe that it would not be happening in our lifetime, but that the end of the world would really be more of the end of the earth as a planet and not really as an ascension of righteous souls into heaven.

As I'm sure some of your know, there is an old Evangelical radio broadcaster by the name of Harold Camping who is predicting that the Rapture will take place on May 21, 2011.

That's today.

The interwebs are in a flurry about the Rapture. In all honesty, Mr. Camping has done a great job with creating mass hysteria through various means, such as multiple billboards, campaigners taking to the streets, and even a Rapture Van.

Rapture Van vs. Batmobile...who do you think would win?

As the day closed in on us, I could feel the excitement in the air. More and more people were making jokes about it, and even I found myself unable to contain my excitement.

Whenever I got the chance, I would excitedly say to my friends, "So, I am SUPER excited about the Rapture!"

I mean, let's say that hypothetically the Rapture happens. People would be disappearing from their cars, from their homes. Then the rest of us would have to endure some tribulations and some wrath and maybe even some Anti-Christ action. But what would it really look like?

There's so many interpretations of it that I feel like any out-of-ordinary phenomena could be counted toward the Rapture. Any severe weather phenomenon could be part of the Rapture if someone decides to say it is so.

There is something extremely fascinating about the fact that people want to believe what they want to believe even if there's hard scientific evidence for or against it. For some people, it's just plain stubbornness. For others, it's a way of life.

Yet, if it doesn't happen, there will be a lot of hangovers the next day. But I do fear that there will also be a lot of sadder stories as well for the poor saps who want to believe so badly.

Honestly, it's exciting to be part of these times when people are predicting the end. It's fun to speculate, and it'll be fascinating when we're all proven wrong.

"How can I possibly be excited about this?" you might ask. Well, back in high school when my friends and I were first discussing the Revelations, I realized that I thought it would be kind of neat to live through the end of the world.

Don't get me wrong. I'm sure it would be utterly horrifying, whether it be through religious means or if it was just the Earth imploding on itself. But for that split second before all consciousness is gone, you're conscious of your own humanity, of the life you've lived and the people you've loved. You are conscious of your being and of your environment, perhaps more than you've ever been in your entire life, and it's really a precious thing.

Now, I would clearly be remiss if I didn't talk about Blodie's "Rapture." First of all, it's an amazing song that I plan on blasting throughout the day.

Secondly, her rap just cracks me up!!! I'm sure it was all ground-breaking back then, but it is still difficult for me to believe that the "rap" part in the song was taken seriously.

So, enjoy this awesome music video of Blondie's "Rapture," try to sing along, and laugh at the silliness of the rap and the Rapture.

See you all on the other side (or Sunday)!

"Rapture" by Blondie
Toe to toe, dancing very close
Body breathing, almost comatose
Wall to wall, people hypnotized
And they're stepping lightly
Hang each night in rapture

Back to back, sacroiliac
Spineless movement and a wild attack
Face to face, sightless solitude
And it's finger-popping
Twenty-four hour shopping in rapture

(Rap)
Fab Five Freddy told me everybody's fly
DJ's spinning, I said "my, my"
Flash is fast, flash is cool
François, c'est pas flashé non due
And you don't stop, sure shot
Go out to the parking lot
And you get in your car and drive real far
And you drive all night and then you see a light
And it comes right down and it lands on the ground
And out comes the man from Mars
And you try to run, but he's got a gun
And he shoots you dead and he eats your head
And then you're in the man from Mars
You go out at night eating cars
You eat Cadillacs, Lincolns, too
Mercurys, and Subaru
And you don't stop
You keep on eating cars
Then when there's no more cars
You go out at night
And eat up bars where the people meet
Face to face
Dance cheek to cheek
One to one
Man to man
Dance toe to toe
Don't move too slow
'Cause the man from Mars is through with cars
He's eating bars
Yeah, wall to wall
Door to door
Hall to hall
He's gonna eat 'em all
Rapture
Be pure
Take a tour through the sewer
Don't strain your brain
Paint a train
You'll be singing in the rain
Said don't stop, do the punk rock

Well, now you see what you want to be
Just have your party on TV
'Cause the man from Mars won't eat up bars where the TV's on
Now he's gone back up to space
Where he won't have a hassle with the human race
And you hip hop
And you don't stop
Just blast off
Sure shot
Because the man from Mars stopped eating cars
And eating bars
And now he only eats guitars
Get up

First Impressions

2011-05-20T17:21:00.000-04:00

Since I've been doing all these interviews lately, I've thought a lot about first impressions.

What must people think of me as I walk in? I've heard all kinds of things about how to dress, and I make sure to pack my pumps with me so that I'll look taller.

But then I get to introduce myself and talk about myself as a potential candidate. At some point, when I become a bit more comfortable, my California comes out.

What does that mean, you say?

I think it means that I turn my friendliness level up. I know that I still maintain my professionalism, but I'll make a quick joke or throw a little sarcasm in there following the lead of the interviewer. I don't know if it's not okay to do that....but it's me. It's who I am.

Then there are other times, when I feel like I come off really loud and obnoxious. Usually, it's at a party, where everyone's somewhat loud and obnoxious. But for some reason, I get very conscious of how I come off.

I have quite an eclectic group of friends. Some are artists, dancers, musicians. Others are engineers, scientists, scholars. Obviously, there's a bit of crossover between the two types of brains. But then their friends sometimes get a chance to interact with me in our social gatherings.

gorgeous Mercedes-Benz ad

Sometimes, I feel like I must weird people out. Sometimes, I can be quite outspoken and honest. Sometimes, I wonder if it makes people feel uncomfortable that I will sometimes blurt things out.

Let's say, I suddenly start talking about my "night job," which is much more for adults. Some people get extremely interested, and some people don't make eye contact with me for the rest of the night.

At an old-school hip hop party my friends hosted last week, I was totally in-character and proceeded to greet people in a somewhat flamboyant way. I don't know if that weirds people out. But...it's me. I was having fun.

Being a somewhat stubborn...okay...very stubborn person, I sometimes want to find a way to break through to new people who might be weirded out by me at first. Like, maybe if they just talk to me more, they'll see that I'm pretty awesome.

I don't know why it matters.

I know I'm friendly, I know I can be a bit outspoken, and I know that the people who know me and love me are really the ones who matter most.

These are just some random thoughts that have flitted through my brain waves. That's all.

Clouds Decending

2011-05-19T18:48:00.041-04:00

There has been this consistent rain and gloomy feeling this month of May. From the intense flooding down in Mississippi all the way up to the persistent cloudiness here in Boston, it has been a constant...and it's affecting everyone.

Fog covering the clock tower in Downtown Boston

I almost don't know what the sky looks like anymore. As someone who tries to stay positive, even through all these difficult times, the weather has not really helped in getting out of the depression.

There's a part of me that wants to say, "Well, it is what it is. We can't do anything about it. We'll appreciate the sunshine so much more."

Then there's the other part of me that wants to sink into a little funk, hide under my covers, and nap all day.

I am craving some warmth, and unfortunately it is too cold and raw outside.

But, it's not going to stop me from wearing bright colors and combating the cold that way. I'm definitely not going to stop turning up the music as I travel through the city.

Obviously, Pink Martini's "Hang On Little Tomato" is high on my playlist.

But I've recently rediscovered this inspiring song by Carole King.

What's on your positive playlist?

Getting Lost

2011-05-16T00:13:00.061-04:00

Rock bottom is pretty sharp and painful. As my bank accounts slowly reach dangerously low levels, my anxiety is getting higher.

Now, I'm nervous that it's starting to affect my job search endeavors.

Last Monday, I had an interview in a suburb of Boston, one that I would need a car to get to. I ended up asking a friend first if he could just drive me, but he offered that I take the car myself. Naturally, since I couldn't afford a Zipcar at the moment, I took the opportunity.

I put in $20 worth of gas the night before since the level was quite low. In the morning, as I was working out, I saw that a tow truck pulled up on the block where I parked the car. Just as I sprinted down the hill, I managed to get a $40 ticket. At that point, I might as well have gotten a Zipcar.

Later that morning, I was ready to go to the job interview. I plugged in my GPS and went on my merry way. Unfortunately, when I got there, I found myself in front of a residence. This didn't seem right.

I tried calling the women who was interviewing me, but she wouldn't pick up. I realized I was in a neighboring town, so I checked my email and the woman said it was by "Cochichuit" street. My GoogleMaps couldn't find that street. After Googling it instead, I found it. It was "Cochituate Rd."

As I proceeded in that direction, I was already fairly late. I had left several messages, and the woman still had not picked up or called back.

I circled in a mall area, in another business' parking lot, and almost got back on the highway before finally finding the building. As I pulled into the lot, the woman finally called me and wondered where I was. I told her that I had tried calling and left multiple messages, but that I had gotten lost.

Not as dire...but just as disappointing...
and still keeping hope alive...

At this point, I was already 25 minutes late. But I told her that I'd still like to go through the interview.

Goodness, if I was the person trying to hire someone, there's no way that I would hire the late person unless they were extremely amazing. I felt like a hot mess.

Suffice it to say, I did not get the job. Part of me is irritated since I had asked for directions from her and didn't get them until I was on the road. Though, it really worked out for the best since I would have to make it to the office every day and go further west into Central Massachusetts to do some of my work.

Honestly, I feel like it just proved to me to stick within areas that I could easily reach via public transportation or even bicycling.

But it really made me think about all the jobs I've applied to. Some I knew I was qualified for, some I knew I was over qualified for, some were definitely a reach. But some were a reach because I knew it would be difficult for me to get there.

Still, I had to apply. I definitely haven't been able to do 15 jobs a week since the first time. But I'm still pushing through. Hopefully, there will not be anymore getting lost.

Oh, Ya...I'm 29!

2011-05-13T21:32:00.000-04:00

I am so super excited to be 29!!!

It means that my Saturn's Return is almost over, and newer and better things start to happen. Though, I'd have to say it's still been pretty rough on me.

But I hear time and time again that turning 30 is pretty amazing. This isn't to say that things still aren't difficult or challenging. Apparently, however, it seems like one's attitudes about a lot of things just start to change.

Many of my peers are setting up their list of things to do before they turn 30, like traveling somewhere or building something or doing something crazy.

I have only 1 goal in mind.

I want to reach my Goal Weight of 145lbs.

Why 145lbs? According to the CDC's BMI charts, that is the weight that would put me in the "normal" weight range based on my height. It's right at the edge of being "normal" and "overweight".

Right now, as you'll see on my "Shedding Scales" page, I'm in the "obese" category, which both frustrates and scares me.

I feel like I've come a long away in the way my body looks, having built some more muscle. And yet, the scale isn't budging too far.

Mermaid Parade's through the years...

But now, I'm determined. I'm making some headway by really cutting down on my meal sizes and committing to bootcamp this month.

I've got a bit more than 60lbs left and less than a year. I KNOW I can do this.

60lbs to 30!

Simple Pleasures Sunday - Innocence

2011-05-08T21:43:00.025-04:00

So, I'm still a bit traumatized from watching Yoni and Mencken play with the dead mouse.

I'd have to say that there was this beautiful innocence about them prior to the mouse debacle. They were my babies. My vicious babies.

It's been difficult for me to want to pick them up. There's a part of me that wants to bathe them, though I'm sure they've cleaned themselves thoroughly by now. Of course, I haven't actually stopped touching them.

I just happen to get flashes of the burned images of them playing with the dead mouse as I'm looking at them.

I know it sounds like I'm overreacting. But it was definitely a stomach-turning sort of experience.

There's something to be said about "ignorance is bliss." I'm sure I'll get over it eventually.

They're still my babies. They're just not as innocent as they were when it was just a jingly ball.

Nature In My Living Room: Kittehs Catch Their First Mouse

2011-05-06T10:42:00.125-04:00

I'm about to recall the gruesome death of this poor mouse and then some. Read at your own risk.

Consider yourself warned.

***************************

At 1 in the morning, I hear Yoni growling and making a noise I had never heard before. I looked into the hallway to see Mencken in our bedroom doorway and Yoni with her dilated glowing eyes. It looked like she was heaving.

Out of concern, I thought that perhaps she had vomited or something. As I proceeded to turn all the lights on, she runs into the living room. I don't see any vomit anywhere, so I figured she is probably about to puke.

Then I realized she had something in her mouth. At first, it looked like a leaf. But then I realized that she had a MOUSE!!!

I immediately work up the boyfriend. He wanted to make sure that we give a lot of praise to the kitties for catching it. But Yoni wasn't done with it yet. In fact, it was still quite alive, if moving slower.

She would growl when Mencken would get close to her, and yet she would drop it and push it about.

This went on for the rest of the night.

At one point, the mouse got away. I thought I saw it scurry under our front door, but Mencken knew better. After a bit of digging in our shoe area, he recovered the injured mouse and brought it straight to Yoni. He, having always been an indoor cat, had never done anything like this and wasn't sure what to do with it.

At another point, they make their way into the bedroom. It was almost 3 in the morning at this point, and I had to wake up in an hour and a half to get ready for bootcamp. But I couldn't NOT pay attention to Yoni's growls. She ended up under the bed at some point. I was NOT going to be okay with a mouse carcass under our bed!

Here's why:
About 2 years ago, before our kitties were even in this world, we had quite a problem with mice. They were attacking anything they could, regardless of being sealed in a plastic bag. I could hear them in our walls, and scurrying about in the middle of the night. It was horrifying.

We started putting out traps and putting everything in our fridge. We cleaned and we even put out some traps with poison in them.

One random Summer day, I noticed these HUGE flies flying around our living room window. They were HUGE, I tell you. Huge and slow. Thus, they were relatively easy to kill. However, they just kept showing up. At first, I would see them flying over to the opposite wall, but they were mainly in the window.

I closed our windows and asked our Super to come look. He couldn't figure it out either, and he hadn't gotten any other complaints from other tenants.

I noticed that the flies had these weird white lines on their thorax. Naturally, I Googled it. What I discovered was horrifying. They were called "flesh flies." Go ahead, go to the Wikipedia page and learn about them. I'll wait....

Gross, right??!?!?

Since they were mainly in our window, I figured something must have died right outside it though we couldn't smell anything.

We must have killed over 20 of them. Yes, I was counting. It just made it more disgusting.

About a month later, I was cleaning around a pile of clothes and pillows that we were planning to dispose of. As I lifted a pillow, I spotted a dead mouse!!! It must have been crushed underneath the clothes and pillows.

Suddenly, the stench of dead mouse and the memory of the flesh flies came flooding back. It was horrifying, and the smell was not going away.

At that point, the boyfriend was picked up by a friend to take him to a birthday lunch. And I was left with the smell. I ended up leaving the house with the windows open (though I remember it was a torrential-rainy day), and went to the movie theater.

So, you can see why I was not about to let the cats just leave a dead mouse somewhere for us to find it later.

And I sure as hell wasn't going to take a live mouse and dispose of it myself! I had already done that a couple of years before the dead mouse/flesh fly episode, when I was living with 2 roommates.

The mouse was stuck on a glue trap, and the most humane way I could think of disposing of it was to kill it quickly. So, we took it on the glue trap outside in a plastic bag and grabbed a shovel. My two roommates couldn't do it. And since I insisted on the quick death, I had to do it. It took a lot of thinking and yelling, and I'm sure the neighbors were about to call 911 on us.

I was so traumatized by that that I had to talk about it with my work supervisor. And you better believe that I was re-traumatized by the flesh flies and shared that with my work supervisor as well.

But let me get back to today.
Eventually, the growling stopped and we heard Yoni munching on her cat food. We assumed that Mencken ate it.

I went to bootcamp and returned to a knocked out boyfriend and kittehs.

But as I was getting ready for a phone interview and the boyfriend was getting ready to leave for school, I spotted the mouse again! It was barely moving, so I pointed Yoni in its direction.

She took it under or kitchen counter table, and when she reemerged the mouse's body looked truly lifeless. That's when Yoni started playing with it. She would toss it in the air and push it about on the floor.

Mencken gets a hold of the mouse

Eventually, Mencken got a hold of it, probably thinking about how fun it looked. But when he tossed it in the air, it would really catch air. I was shrieking in my corner behind a blanket, scared that it would get launched in my direction.

But I had to do something. I couldn't be shrieking during my phone interview! After asking friends on Facebook, I came up with a plan.

We have way too many tongs, so I grabbed the crappiest one with a stray sock that ended up in our laundry (but wasn't either of ours) and a plastic bag. After throwing away the bag complete with sock and mouse in our basement, I Wet-Swiffered the hell out of our floors.

I'll be honest. I think pet mice and pet rats are cute. They're a lot cleaner, though they still pee and poo everywhere. But when it's a strange creature invading your home, it becomes a different story.

There was something both frightening and intriguing about the kittehs doing what nature intended them to do. I couldn't take my eyes away for fear that I would lose track of the mouse, and yet I can't even eat without getting a bit nauseous.

There's a part of me that wants to bathe the kittehs clean, but I know that they do that on their own. So, I'll just keep washing my own hands throughout the day. I also made sure to praise them and give them some treats for their good-job-done. Perhaps we'll feed them some tuna tonight.

If only David Attenborough was narrating, though I don't think that even his calming voice will prevent me from being traumatized from this for a while.

Travels: (Flying Away From) The Dock Of the Bay

2011-05-01T18:11:00.000-04:00

Saturday, April 23rd (The Night)
After my sister's show at the Pilipino Cultural Night at SF State, we were all starving! I don't know what these Filipinos were thinking when they put together this 4-hour non-sequitur, especially considering that many in the audience were family members. But my sister was awesome in the cultural dances.

We ended the evening at a greasy Thai restaurant near my sister's place called King of Thai Noodle. It was kind of perfect for my exhausted sister and parents.

It was the first time in a long time that we as a complete family had dinner together.

siblings

This was my final night of sleep in San Francisco, and it felt nice to have spent it with my family.

Sunday, April 24th
I woke up a bit saddened by my final day, but excited to still be in the California warmth. My parents and brother were driving back down to Southern California later that afternoon, so they wanted to have breakfast together.

We ended up at the Millbrae Pancake House, which has been in the area for over 50 years. My dad, who is ever the joker, told our waitress that we had driving up from L.A. just to visit the restaurant. The woman was totally taken aback and was honestly flattered that we had done so. I didn't have the heart to tell her he was joking.

Being that it was Easter Sunday, there were a lot of families coming for breakfast in their Sunday best. And then, there was this family.

I really have no words, actually...

After breakfast, we said goodbye to my sister and her boyfriend, and we went back into San Francisco to get pastries to bring back with us on our travels. I didn't get any cake on my birthday, I realized. So, I asked if we could get ube cake for me to take back to Boston.

My parents dropped me off at my sister's apartment, and we said our final farewells before they took the long drive back south. It does make me sad that I don't get to see them as often as I'd like to.

I'm hoping to be able to visit Los Angeles and California again in July.

I had two more folks to see before I left, though.

I was excited to see a belly dancer friend of mine and her two adorable boys. I met up with them in the Castro area, and we chatted about the dance teachers in San Francisco. I ended up back at their beautiful home and then at another park to watch the little ones participate in some Easter Egg Hunting action.

I was really looking forward to hanging out with this friend and her family mainly because of all the hilarious things her kids say and do that she posts on Facebook. Usually, at least with parents who are a bit more obnoxious, I can't really handle the saccharine. But her two boys are just hilarious and she not an obnoxious parent.

It also made me think a lot about how neat it must be to raise your kids in such a free-flowing neighborhood. While I'm sure the Castro is full of unfriendly people, I feel like it really instills young children with the idea of acceptance and open-mindedness. I mean, granted some of the Castro events are a bit less child-friendly, but they're mainly behind closed doors.

After the Easter Egg Hunt, it was time for me to do my final preparations before flying back. After a quick shower, I packed my belongings and called my sister to say goodbye and thank you.

As I had started my whirlwind of catch-up with friends with someone I knew from Boston, I also ended my catch-up with another dear friend from Boston. It was perfect, really, since she needed to go to the airport to pick up a friend around the same time that I needed to be at the airport.

She took me to Emmy's Spaghetti Shack, in the Bernal Heights area. It's a really cute little hole in the wall, and you wouldn't even realize what it was if you just casually passed by it. My friend recommended the spaghetti with meatballs, since it would help me to get sleepy on my red-eye flight. The "big meatballs" are no joke. They're BIG! The meal and drinks were delicious.

My friend and I were interns in the same place, and she's been one of the few people from San Francisco who I've seen the most. She's such a super positive and bright and funny person, and it felt good to talk with her about all the troubles I've had in finding a job. But I left feeling more encouraged.

**********

As I walked through the San Francisco International Airport (Terminal 2) to my gate, I started feeling anxious again. It was like I was leaving home again, and yet I was excited to go back to the boyfriend and the kittehs.

I really consider myself extremely lucky to have a home base on both sides of the country. Though it's been a difficult year, I love my life and the people in it in Boston. But if it came down to it, and it felt like the right time to move I would definitely consider making a move to San Francisco, even for a little while. Not because it's any lovelier than Boston or Los Angeles (though there is the California sun to consider). But because I know that I have so many people who I love in that City by the Bay.

Yet, when I landed in Boston, hopping on the Blue Line to the Green Line back home, I'm found myself so happy to be home.

Oh, and my ube cake made it safe and sound through security and a 5 and a half hour flight right into my fridge and my extremely happy belly.