Sunday, January 22, 2012

Mermaid vs Whale: A Commentary on Body Shapes

This post has been a long time coming.  I've just been having this sit in my "Drafts" area.  But I wanted to give this enough thought, and really I needed time to give I enough thought.

I saw this post on Facebook a while back with the accompanying photo.
French model Tara Lynn
A while back, at the entrance of a gym, there was a picture of a very thin and beautiful woman. The caption was "This summer, do you want to be a mermaid or a whale?"

The story goes, a woman (of clothing size unknown) answered the following way: 

"Dear people, whales are always surrounded by friends (dolphins, seals, curious humans), they are sexually active and raise their children with great tenderness.
They entertain like crazy with dolphins and eat lots of prawns. They swim all day and travel to fantastic places like Patagonia, the Barents Sea or the coral reefs of Polynesia.
They sing incredibly well and sometimes even are on cds. They are impressive and dearly loved animals, which everyone defend and admires.

Mermaids do not exist.

But if they existed, they would line up to see a psychologist because of a problem of split personality: woman or fish?
They would have no sex life and could not bear children.
Yes, they would be lovely, but lonely and sad.
And, who wants a girl that smells like fish by his side?

Without a doubt, I'd rather be a whale.

At a time when the media tells us that only thin is beautiful, I prefer to eat ice cream with my kids, to have dinner with my husband, to eat and drink and have fun with my friends.

We women, we gain weight because we accumulate so much wisdom and knowledge that there isn't enough space in our heads, and it spreads all over our bodies.
We are not fat, we are greatly cultivated.
Every time I see my curves in the mirror, I tell myself: "How amazing am I ?! "
Okay....did you get all that?

I feel like this is one of those stories where 1 person shares it, and it becomes a friend's story, then it becomes a friend of a friend's story, then it becomes someone my friend knows' story.  But with the power of Facebook, this happens much faster.  Now, I'm about to take this apart, piece by piece.

The Gym
Let me first address this alleged sign an alleged gym allegedly posted.  I think it was a horrible horrible analogy, and I'm sure we can agree on that.  The fact that it plays on the negative body image as well as the issue of name-calling is just straight up bullying...and you're talking to the girl who goes to early-morning bootcamp workouts. While I guess one could say that this would help bring the gym more customers, it might not bring any real results because the gym is promoting a negative self-image to begin with.

The Woman's Response
Now let me address the alleged response from this alleged woman.  You know, I don't think that putting down the other group makes you better.  People come in all shapes and sizes.  Some people's bodies are naturally skinny, while some people's bodies are naturally thicker.  Nothing wrong with either as long as they're being healthy.  Whales look the way they are because that's how they have evolved, not because they think their curves are sexy (though, I guess I don't want to speak for the whales...).

Also, "who wants a girl that smells like a fish by his side"?  Really?  She's just as guilty at promoting a negative self-image by making women more self-conscious about how they smell.  The whole smelling like fish thing really isn't helping.  Fact: any unusual odor is caused by bacteria or lack thereof...in your armpits and your vagina.  Does she realize how many women are already so self-conscious about their vaginas?  So self-conscious that it might prevent them from becoming intimate with a partner?  Why make it worse?

The woman goes on to specify that if they did exist that they would have emotional and mental problems, and they would be lonely because they would be unable to bear children.  But in so many stories, mermaids are part of a family. Shape surely doesn't define how satisfied one is with their life or how social they are.

Shape can reflect the health of a person, but being extremely thin or extremely obese are (obviously) extremes that are not desired.  It's so cliche, but moderation is really a good way to go about it.

Mermaid vs Whale
As a fan of ocean creatures and mythical creatures, it's weird to me that this comparison has happened and then was propagated in that woman's response.  Who says that a mermaid has to be super skinny?  Who decided this?  Being that they are mythical creatures, it doesn't seem fair to decide that they look one way versus another.

Don't get me wrong.  Being that I've got curves, I definitely favor a more curvy shape in my mermaids.  But that's a personal opinion.  Some people don't like whales or mermaids, and that's okay.

But using them for the purposes of making women feel less beautiful seems like an unfair and unproductive thing indeed.

Sunday, January 1, 2012

2012!!! Goals and Reflections



2010 and 2011 Goals Review
2010-1.  Focus more on being healthy and eating smaller portions rather than the number on the scale. But I also wanted to add that I will not look at the scale as my enemy.  I need to use the scale as a tool, a means to the end rather than just the end.
Well, I'm still a bit scared of the scale, but I'm not dreading it as much as I used to.  I'm definitely learning to use it as a tool just to monitor the fluctuations in my efforts.


2010-2.  Learn to let go and move away from things that might be holding me back.
A huge part of this is recognizing what is holding me back, and perhaps moving away from it before I get in too deep.
It took me most of 2011 to figure this one out.  Looking at this goal, I know that staying with my ex was really holding me back.  So now I've broken free from that unhealthy relationship, and I'm more open to other possibilities in my life.
 

2011-1.  Get a full-time job that I feel excited and passionate about.
Got a job that I'm super excited and passionate about!! But it's not full-time.  I'm hoping that this is just the repercussions of the bad economy, and that a full-time job or at least full-time hours is in my near future.  I have a feeling that it is.
 
2011-2.  Go to Mexico with the Goddesses in October!
The trip was changed to Vegas.  ACCOMPLISHED!
 
2011-3.  Learn how to budget and handle my finances better.
Alas, this was one that I neglected.  Completely neglected.
 
2011-4.  Move into a new (and slightly larger) apartment or remove larger pieces of furniture from this apartment to make it seem more roomy.
Moved into a new and definitely larger apartment and definitely got rid of larger pieces of furniture from my life.  ACCOMPLISHED!
 
2011-5.  Relearn basic conversational Tagalog and Spanish. 
I was doing really good in the beginning of the year when I still had all the time in the world.  I'm going to keep this as a constant goal.

Are you ready to see my 2012 list? Here it is!

2012 Goals
1.  Seriously learn how to budget and handle my finances better.
2.  Reach my 30th birthday at least a little lighter, physically, emotionally, and mentally - including learning how to lessen the busyness in my life.
3.  Visit the ocean even more than I did in 2011.
4.  Learn to cook and bake at least 2 new items.
5.  Make more music and dance more.

2011 was a really tough year.  It was full of disappointments, endings, and broken promises.  I'm really hoping the 2012 will bring only amazing experiences, especially since I'm turning 30 this year.

But, since I'm not one to just let things happen on their own, I'm planning to seek out a better new year every time I open my eyes in the morning.

Happy New Year To You and Yours!!!

Saturday, December 31, 2011

California Christmas and Babies Galore

It had been a long time since I had been to Los Angeles, though I'm glad I at least got to see California in April.  But since I didn't get to spend Christmas with my family last year, I needed to see them this year.

Truth be told, this whole holiday season just crept up on me.  For the first time in a long time, I wasn't prepared with presents for all my friends and co-workers, and it was just really hard to get into the holiday spirit in general.

Regardless, it was awesome to be home.

Except that everyone is constantly asking me when I plan to move back.  It makes me sad to not have an answer, because I really want to have one that will satisfy them all.  But for now I'm on the East, and I'll still be bicoastal.

Christmas Deliciousness
My mom decorating the little tree with ginormous ornaments
We spend Christmas Eve and Christmas Day up in the Bay Area with my sister, since she had to work that weekend.  My brother was in the Philippines with his girlfriend, so it still felt like an incomplete Christmas. 

But we did have our two doggies with us, since they're both a hassle to dog sit.  They're also a hassle to have in a car.
Charlie trying to be a lap dog.
Other than spending time with my family, one big draw for going home is to have some home-cooked Filipino food.  My mom cooked pancit, lumpia, and mechado over the weekend.  I was an extremely happy camper.
serious food coma for like 24 hours...
On Christmas Day, I visited a childhood friend and her 2 adorable babies.  It was great to see them, and to interact with her younger child who I had only seen as an infant.  It was amazing to see them both talking away and interacting with me like they've known me all this time.  Truth be told, these 2 kids would be a huge reason for me to move back.  I've always hated the idea that one of my best friend's kids wouldn't know me.  So it was comforting to know that they were so comfortable around me from the get-go.

Oh, she also fed me some delicious Columbian food.  I ate my way through Christmas.  It was fantastic.

Disneyland and California Adventure
How could I go to California and NOT visit a Disney park?  Seriously.
Occupy Disneyland
It was great to hang out with friends I haven't seen in too long a time as well as meet some new awesome people.

Unfortunately, it was CRAZY BUSY!!! I mean, it was packed.  I should have known better, I suppose, to have chosen a day between Christmas and New Years.  But, we still managed to hit up all the awesome rides, including Space Mountain, Indiana Jones, and the Hollywood Tower of Terror.
BEST RIDE EVER
so simple...yet the laughing and screaming are so fun!
And I got to feast on some delicious Mickey Mouse Pancake action.
I'm pretty sure it's more delicious because it's so happy.
It was definitely a highlight to finally ride the new Little Mermaid ride, though I'm personally of the belief that the ride could have been an awesome water ride.
*squee!*
 Then!!! I got to meet Ariel!!
She asked me about my outfit (which was clearly
all Little Mermaid-ed out). We chatted a bit about fashion,
as two mermaids would.
Gotta love that Princess pose...
How funny is it that the two celebrities I geek out about are redheads?  Those Gingers are awesome, what can I say?

It was such a great day, even if my poor legs were exhausted and tense for the next 2 days.  Good times all around.

Babies!
So, I had already talked about one of my best friend's babies and how awesome they are.  But I also got to meet two other friends' little ones for the first time.  One of them was about 2 months old, and the second one was about 14 months.

It was funny to me that this trip to California was like a baby tour.  But I'm so very proud of my friends who are raising mini-humans.  All their babies are beautiful, and I'm excited to see what their personalities will be like as they grow up and experience life.

*****

Leaving California is always hard.  Leaving the warmth and the love from my friends and family there is hard.  But I guess I'm just not ready to leave the adventure of the cold cold of New England.  Nor am I ready to say goodbye to my friends and adoptive family here.

Til next time, California.

Tori Amos at The Orpheum 12-6-11

As a Tori fan, I feel like I should know exactly how many of her concerts I've been to.  But my best guess is that I've seen her at least 5 or 6 times.  But now, I can say without a doubt that I've met her 3 times.
I was SO late to work...but it was worth standing outside for so long...
She had some tall boots on!
She's actually a bit shorter than me, as evidenced by my other Tori post.
I had brought her some pearl hair clips that I made for her and Tash, and she seemed to really like them.  I asked her about her shoes, which were some really cute wedge boots (a style I've been trying to look for!).  She then proceeded to tell me that she got them in L.A. (which I squealed about and told her it was my hometown) at the Nordstroms in The Grove.  She then lifted her foot and asked me to see if there was a logo on the bottom, but since there wasn't she took her shoe off (!!!) and told me they were from Steven.  I couldn't believe she took off her shoe just to tell me that!  

Then, I naturally had to ask her about what her thoughts were on the Occupy Movement and other movements around the world.  She talked about how the Native Americans have been talking about the similar issues for so long.  She also said that she thinks things will get worse before they get better, especially with the way things have been moving towards.  But, she said, I will be in charge of reminding her and others, as well as she has the responsibility to remind me and others about the need for change.

So cool.

This time around, I got to see the show with other folks who I adore and who also love Tori.  It had definitely been a while since I got to see Tori with a friend, much less multiple friends!

The show was, of course, amazing.  Here's the list of songs she played with some choice pictures I captured:
Shattering Sea
Landslide
Suede
Way Down
Leather
Snow Cherries From France
Mother
Ruby Through the Looking Glass
1000 Oceans


Siren
Nautical Twilight
Star Whisperer


Mrs. Jesus
Not the Red Baron
Someone Saved My Life Tonight


Your Ghost
Edge of the Moon
Fearlessness
Cruel

Tori was amazing.  Having the string quartet with her was amazing.  There was definitely a couple of tears shed at this concert.  It's amazing that she always chooses songs that are extremely significant for me in the moment. 

Thank goodness for Tori Amos and her music.

Bit O' Catch-Up - Break-Ups, Thanksgiving in NYC, and Moving

This time, I'm absolutely not pulling your leg when I say that it's been a really crazy busy month.  So, I'm going to attempt to succinctly tell you all about my Thanksgiving in New York as well as other significant life events.

Ready? Go!

Breaking Up Is Hard to Do...Except When It's Harder Not To...
In a way, I wasn't really expecting it since I thought my situation with the boyfriend was improving.  But, it was kind of a long time coming.  I honestly don't know (except that I do, and it's not anything I would post about here) why it took so long for me to follow through on this.  At the end of the day, I'm so much better for it.


Thanksgiving in NYC
Being that I couldn't spend Thanksgiving with the now-ex and because I was kind of anticipating some distance between us, I was happy to have already planned to see my best friend in New York for Thanksgiving.

We had a low key evening of cooking, but celebrated by going to see The Muppets movie.
Fall in New York is Better with Good Company
Had some Turkey at Whole Foods earlier that day,
but had a really healthy veggie dinner later...
of course with some pecan pie...
We could only be with each other for a short less-than-48 hours, so I had to leave the next morning.  But she introduced me to this delicious place called Doughnut Plant, which is one hell of a step up from Dunkin' Donuts.
They have flavors like...TRES LECHES!!!!
which...is f*&^ing amazing...
(picture from Leti)
I definitely took some to go with their home-made chai
Moving On and Moving Forward
It was tough and honestly really scary to know that I had to uproot my life once again.  It's like I keep getting myself into the same situation, hoping for a better end result.  It's the definition of crazy.

But when I had my lowest of lowest days at the end of November, December started to really show me that things can get better.

I had so much trouble finding a new place to live, and I was conflicted about staying in Brighton, which is where I had basically been since I've been in Boston.  Part of me knew that I needed a clean break and moving to a new part of town seemed like the best way to do it.

Eventually, I did find a place and couldn't believe my luck when I realized I had cool landladies and roommate.  I had never been so excited to pick up a key.
opening up to new beginnings
But never had I been so sad to leave behind all that I did.
some of the last of my things
Particularly, I am still feeling devastated to have left Mencken.  It was clear that we had to do what we did - Yoni is much more bonded to me and Mencken to him.  But Mencken was my baby boy.  I found him on Craigslist.  I know that cats adjust a lot quicker than humans do to new situations.  But can you really blame me for wishing to have them both with me or at least with each other?  I am so happy to have Yoni, though.

So, now I'm at my new place, and I have been since December 17th.  I'm lucky to know some amazing people who helped me transport my ridiculous amount of possessions to Jamaica Plain.  Anyone who helps you move is definitely owed some serious favors.  I literally owe those people my life and then some.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...