Mermaid Collages: Past Thoughts and Future Hopes

The past couple of weeks have really involved a lot of introspection.  Much of which is currently sitting as drafts.

But, I'm feeling a need to re-evaluate a lot of my choices and decisions.  I've been looking back, thinking about all the things I've learned and all the lessons I still need to learn.

In the next year, I feel that there will be a lot of death in my life.  While the idea of my own death scares me a bit, I do believe that death is nothing more than change, much like the Tarot card interpretation.

Right now, I'm struggling with the death of my former self and all the memories that came with it.  I feel this need to honor the past so as not to forget the lessons, and I dislike the idea of regretting anything.  But perhaps my honoring of my past (and I'm really meaning my late teens and earlier part of my 20's) has led me to hold on to it more than I should.

Here's another Mermaid Collage from 2002 (I will retype the words on the page so you don't have to open another window and fight with my horrendous handwriting), and a 2-pager at that!

  So tired from all the wear and tear of everyday life...just needing one full night of sleep without waking to tasks that need to be done...

What is being sparkley?  Especially when so much has worn you down and sullied you...Is it someone else's glance?  The music they hear whenever they're near you?  Or is it what you make and believe in yourself?  Is it all your tears your laughter your dreams all rolled up into one?  Is it all the hard work that no one will ever recognize?  Or the ones that have affected that one person?

When lying in bed...laying in bed...what thoughts run through your body - ending at your brain...your mind...Devious thoughts...April Fools pranks at unsuspecting victims of your cruelty...What will I dream of tonight?  Being a mermaid...on her way to her prince...not so he can save her, mind you...cuz his car has broken down...What will I do tomorrow?  No...don't start...you'll just keep yourself awake with that kind of talk...stretch...breathe...Don't worry about those so-called friends...too worried about who's gonna supply their addiction...don't mind them...this is only temporary...you have a man who loves you so much - he already talks about your children...you have best friends that care for you so deeply - they count the days til your homecoming...Don't fret about all that sadness that wells up inside you...it's only homesickness...because you know how many hours-drive it is to see the love of your life...to see the happy smiles of yoru friends...Don't worry...you're not chemically imbalanced...depressed...bipolarl...ADD...dyslexic...suicidal thoughts...sometimes hearing voices...screaming!  Screaming the answers!  But I have none...not until my last breath will I have the answers...For now, I'll just sleep off this feeling...and wait to see what tomorrow will bring...

Time to wake up.

Princesses and White Knights In our Midst...In Reality

What happens when princesses and white knights enter the current dating world?  And what if they're in a time and age of flux, like their 20's?

I've talked a lot about Saturn's Return in this blog, as I've been exploring how it's affected my life and the lives of others.  Many of my friends who belong to the same age bracket are going through major life changes - babies, weddings, moving to different cities or parts of the country, and losing or getting a new job.

Even more so, I've had friends who've gone through major shifts in their dating relationships.  Perhaps since we are all maturing, settling, and/or "growing up," things NEED to shift to make way for whatever new collective experiences there will be.

Princesses and White Knights In our Midst...At the Strip Club

This past summer, I happened to be in a Spearmint Rhino club (which is a strip club for all of you who might not know) in the Los Angeles area for a bachelorette party, and the social work part of me got to thinking.

Well, firstly, I needed to really put my morals and ethics in check.

I for one am of the point of view that if you can use the system to benefit you, then more power to you.  If it's the best way for you to make money, because of school, family, whatever, then so be it.  But there is definitely a part of me that recognizes that it is unfortunate that stripping is the best and fastest way for these women to make money, that it could be their only option, and that the system that created it was based on the male need to get off.

Secondly, for some strange reason, I got to thinking about their costumes, and was curious about whether they bought it elsewhere or made it themselves.  I mean, what a craft!  That's some sewing skills that they could really put to good use somewhere.