Saturday, May 21, 2011

Talking Tunes: "Rapture" by Blondie

I'm not really sure how it initially came up, but back in high school my friends and I got to talking about the Revelations from the Bible.  It's quite possible that this conversation came up because our 10th grade Honors English teacher made the Bible our required reading.

I didn't go to a Catholic school or any other religious school.  I went to a college prep high school.  Our teacher spoke of the importance of knowing where other literary works got their inspirations from.

Yeah...that seemed like a bullshit reason to me as well.  Yet, I read the entire thing, though I can't say I remember all of it.

Anyways, my friends and I got to talking about Revelations and about the end of the world.  Most of us believe that it would not be happening in our lifetime, but that the end of the world would really be more of the end of the earth as a planet and not really as an ascension of righteous souls into heaven.

As I'm sure some of your know, there is an old Evangelical radio broadcaster by the name of Harold Camping who is predicting that the Rapture will take place on May 21, 2011.

That's today.

The interwebs are in a flurry about the Rapture.  In all honesty, Mr. Camping has done a great job with creating mass hysteria through various means, such as multiple billboards, campaigners taking to the streets, and even a Rapture Van.
Rapture Van vs. Batmobile...who do you think would win?
As the day closed in on us, I could feel the excitement in the air.  More and more people were making jokes about it, and even I found myself unable to contain my excitement.

Whenever I got the chance, I would excitedly say to my friends, "So, I am SUPER excited about the Rapture!"

I mean, let's say that hypothetically the Rapture happens.  People would be disappearing from their cars, from their homes.  Then the rest of us would have to endure some tribulations and some wrath and maybe even some Anti-Christ action.  But what would it really look like?

There's so many interpretations of it that I feel like any out-of-ordinary phenomena could be counted toward the Rapture.  Any severe weather phenomenon could be part of the Rapture if someone decides to say it is so.

There is something extremely fascinating about the fact that people want to believe what they want to believe even if there's hard scientific evidence for or against it.  For some people, it's just plain stubbornness.  For others, it's a way of life.

Yet, if it doesn't happen, there will be a lot of hangovers the next day.  But I do fear that there will also be a lot of sadder stories as well for the poor saps who want to believe so badly.

Honestly, it's exciting to be part of these times when people are predicting the end.  It's fun to speculate, and it'll be fascinating when we're all proven wrong.

"How can I possibly be excited about this?" you might ask.  Well, back in high school when my friends and I were first discussing the Revelations, I realized that I thought it would be kind of neat to live through the end of the world.

Don't get me wrong.  I'm sure it would be utterly horrifying, whether it be through religious means or if it was just the Earth imploding on itself.  But for that split second before all consciousness is gone, you're conscious of your own humanity, of the life you've lived and the people you've loved.  You are conscious of your being and of your environment, perhaps more than you've ever been in your entire life, and it's really a precious thing.

Now, I would clearly be remiss if I didn't talk about Blodie's "Rapture."  First of all, it's an amazing song that I plan on blasting throughout the day.

Secondly, her rap just cracks me up!!!  I'm sure it was all ground-breaking back then, but it is still difficult for me to believe that the "rap" part in the song was taken seriously.

So, enjoy this awesome music video of Blondie's "Rapture," try to sing along, and laugh at the silliness of the rap and the Rapture.

See you all on the other side (or Sunday)!

"Rapture" by Blondie
Toe to toe, dancing very close
Body breathing, almost comatose
Wall to wall, people hypnotized
And they're stepping lightly
Hang each night in rapture

Back to back, sacroiliac
Spineless movement and a wild attack
Face to face, sightless solitude
And it's finger-popping
Twenty-four hour shopping in rapture

Fab Five Freddy told me everybody's fly
DJ's spinning, I said "my, my"
Flash is fast, flash is cool
François, c'est pas flashé non due
And you don't stop, sure shot
Go out to the parking lot
And you get in your car and drive real far
And you drive all night and then you see a light
And it comes right down and it lands on the ground
And out comes the man from Mars
And you try to run, but he's got a gun
And he shoots you dead and he eats your head
And then you're in the man from Mars
You go out at night eating cars
You eat Cadillacs, Lincolns, too
Mercurys, and Subaru
And you don't stop
You keep on eating cars
Then when there's no more cars
You go out at night
And eat up bars where the people meet
Face to face
Dance cheek to cheek
One to one
Man to man
Dance toe to toe
Don't move too slow
'Cause the man from Mars is through with cars
He's eating bars
Yeah, wall to wall
Door to door
Hall to hall
He's gonna eat 'em all
Be pure
Take a tour through the sewer
Don't strain your brain
Paint a train
You'll be singing in the rain
Said don't stop, do the punk rock

Well, now you see what you want to be
Just have your party on TV
'Cause the man from Mars won't eat up bars where the TV's on
Now he's gone back up to space
Where he won't have a hassle with the human race
And you hip hop
And you don't stop
Just blast off
Sure shot
Because the man from Mars stopped eating cars
And eating bars
And now he only eats guitars
Get up

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