Toesies of the Month - October 2009

So...I'm  late....

and I didn't ask the ladies what their names were.....

but here they are...

 Nail Technician Unknown, Julie's Nail Salon, Brookline, MA

Color:  OPI - Let's Go for the Gold

Occasion:  Halloween

October 2009

I don't really have any good reason for forgetting to ask their names.  It's been a stressful month, and I haven't really had the time or money to get my nails did.  So, when I settled into the spa chair, I nearly forgot that I had to quickly do some more running around for the Dark Reverie Masquerade as soon as I was certain my nails were dry enough to survive being put in shoes again.

Gripping the Grass Roots - It's Best and Worst In One Event

I've never been one to give up easily.

So much so, that I get very stubborn.

Michael Jackson once said, "I'm a lover, not a fighter."

Well...it turns out that I'm both.  Especially when something or someone I care for is under attack.

Most people think that if an organization is lacking funds that they should just go and apply for grants.  It's really much more difficult than that.  Most grants don't apply to the current fiscal year, and they're all so highly competitive.

GRASSROOTS

Personally, I think that going grassroots is another way to raise money.  You get the community's support, and you get the organizations name out there.  Word of mouth can be a very powerful thing.

CSA Adventures: "All We Are Saying Is Give Pizza a Chance"

So, since the first couple of times that we made our own pizza, we really enjoyed the process and the result.  In the past month, because it was so easy to grab fresh pizza dough from Clear Flour Bakery while getting our veggies from our farmshare pick up.

 Playing with Dough!

With the farmshare ending on October 11th, we've celebrated our last couple of weeks of fresh veggies and breads by combining them into pizza form.  Now, eating pizza every week has the potential to be very bad for your health.  Perhaps if we were to have tons of meats on the pizza every week, we'd be in serious cardio attack alley.  But, we used mainly fresh ingredients, and treated ourselves to some delicious meals.

Without further ado, I introduce to you our Nice and Naughty Pizzas.

Butternut Squash, Caramelized Onions, and Goat Cheese Pizza (Click here for the recipe!)

Sweet and Delicious!

I was SUPER excited about getting butternut squash in the farmshare!  I haven't ever really eaten it until I moved to Boston, but I fell in love with it when I did.  I'd have to credit Giacomo's Restaurant in the North End for my love for the butternut squash.  There's always a line in front of that restaurant, though they have a sister restaurant in the South End.  But the butternut squash ravioli makes waiting so worth it.  To quote my friend Jenny, they're "pillows of heaven."  No joke.

Brain Wrinkles - Meese and Beavers

I love geeking out on science stuff.  Though I know it's not necessarily true, for a while I believed that you gain a new wrinkle whenever you learned something knew.  So, every once in a while when there's nothing on TV, I like to see what's on the Science Channel or Discovery Channel or National Geographic.

On weekends, there's usually stuff about the universe - stars, planets, dark matter.  I love all of it!

It's neat to learn about things that I don't deal with every day.  I think it helps ground me, if that makes any sense.  It's humbling.  Thought I don't claim to be anything other than what I am, it's nice to be reminded of who I am and what my place is in this world.

 
<-----My Brain Wrinklies


On one recent weekday evening, there was nothing on once again.  Luckily, the Discovery Channel Networks are On Demand.  My mind gets blown by all the wonderous facts about nature and the universe, and I feel this need to share this new found information with others.  Unfortunately, my boyfriend is often watching the same thing as I am, so it would be ridiculous to share my new found brain wrinklies with him.

So, I figured this is the best place for me to share my little brain wrinklies.

As a city girl, I don't claim to be anything more than that.  I don't really come into contact with meese or beavers.  What I know of them, I've seen in movies.  Even then, the only ones I can think of are from Disney cartoons.

Hanging On As A Fool

Hang On Little Tomato

by Pink Martini

The sun has left and forgotten me

It’s dark, I cannot see

Why does this rain pour down

I’m gonna drown

In a sea

Of deep confusion


Somebody told me, I don’t know who

Whenever you are sad and blue

And you’re feelin’ all alone and left behind

Just take a look inside and you will find


You gotta hold on, hold on through the night

Hang on, things will be all right

Even when it’s dark

And not a bit of sparkling

Sing-song sunshine from above

Spreading rays of sunny love


Just hang on, hang on to the vine

Stay on, soon you’ll be divine

If you start to cry, look up to the sky

Something’s coming up ahead

To turn your tears to dew instead

And so I hold on to his advice

When change is hard and not so nice

If you listen to your heart the whole night through

Your sunny someday will come one day soon to you

********************


Like I mentioned before, I've been trying to stay extremely positive about all the funding cut from th organization I work for.  Everyone's been telling me to be rational...start looking for a job NOW...apply for unemployment benefits...fundraise...volunteer...

So.  My resume is updated.  I've signed up for unemployment benefits.  I still feel like I can't exactly sit around in my apartment spending time staring at the same job search results.  So.  I'm "volunteering" at my organization.  In the best of situations, something substantial comes up and I can finish my year with them.  In the worst of situations, I will continue to volunteer until the end of the month...I will keep supervising my intern...and I'll just keep searching til something happens.

I don't think people have understood, though I know they come with the best intentions.  Not that I don't appreciate the help and support and the emails with job postings attached.  But here's how it is:

If I'm a fool for sticking around because of my passion...then let me be that fool.  I can't just work at some place without truly believing in it.  I can't just suck it up and plug in at some heartless soulless job.  I can't NOT interact with the people I'm helping .  And you know what....I won't.  I would be miserable and would thus suck at that job.

The Hanged Man and The Fool

Support me...help me when I ask for it (and maybe sometimes when I'm too stubborn to ask for it)...but allow me my foolishness.

Alone

My Level of Comfort and Anxiety
I made it a point in my early 20's to be comfortable by myself.

Having been in a long-distance relationship for the majority of the relationship, and then having moved across the country on my own, I figured it would be a good survival tactic.  I find that you can't rely on everyone to go out and do what you want to do all the time.

I'm perfectly okay with watching movies by myself...eating lunch or dinner by myself...riding the T by myself...I definitely prefer shopping by myself, usually because I can do whatever I want and take as much time as I need.

But when I'm going someplace with the purpose of  being social...knowing that I might only know 1 other person....I can't get myself to be comfortable with that yet...

If I didn't know anyone at all, I might hesitate.  But if it's something that really interests me, then I'll go for it.  I'd still like someone to help me feel less alone.

It's hard for me that the boyfriend isn't a social person.  I don't expect him to come out with me all the time....but...maybe I do?  But in the situation where I'll only know the host or hostess, why can't I have a steady companion?  What's the point of relationships without companionship?