Simple Pleasures Sundays - The Super Bowl Edition

I'll be straight up.  I'm not naturally a football fan.  In fact, I can still find different reasons why I dislike football.

But in 2007, when I first started dating the boyfriend, I learned that he was not only a big nerd, but also a huge football fan.  His duality was so strange to me.

I told him that I was very content that both my high school and my undergrad didn't have football teams.  I feel like it creates too macho an atmosphere for me to be comfortable.  Otherwise, I didn't really care too much for it.

He decided that he was going to get me interested in football.  He proposed that every time the Patriots scored a point, I would get a kiss.  Well, I quickly learned that each scoring was actually 7 points, which meant I got 7 kisses for every touchdown!

Genius.

Well, suffice it to say that that season was a heart breaker.  But today, I now enjoy watching football with the boyfriend.

Being that today is the day of the Super Bowl, which I've always enjoyed watching because of the social aspect (much like why I enjoy the World Cup so much), I thought it would be fun to list all the terms in football that make me say, "Excuse me, what?"

Double Entendre Football Terms
Bump and Run
Crackback Block
Down and In
Down and Out
Down Box
End Zone
False Start
Going Deep
Going Long
Handoff
Holding
Illegal Touching
Loose Ball
Muffed Kick
Open Up Holes
Pooch Kick
Pump Fake
Sacked
Third-and-Long
Tight End
Too Many Men on the Field
Wide Receiver
(http://football.about.com/od/football101/a/Football-Glossary.htm)

Happy Super Bowl to those of you who care!

Double Entendre

April has been a month of double entendres.

Let me tell you all about them, yes?

Announcement
We were practicing for the student showcase.  I was watching one group, and my boss was watching another.  At one point, my boss asked to switch groups.  So, we switched.

Remember the boy who was being a diva about "opening" for someone else?  Ya, well, I swapped to see them practice.

I guess my boss introduced them in a certain way.  One of the boys said, "Okay, so you have to introduce us like this, 'Ladies and gentlemen, from near and far, I present to you V and J!!!"

.....I had to stop for a second to think of what I was about to say.

"Ladies and gentlemen, from near and far, I present to you V and J!!!!"

I made a conscious decision to change it to "J and V."  And in the end, the student MC didn't say it that way anyway.

Later, I had to tell the interns about it.  AND I had to warn my boss about possibly saying that in front of a larger group of people, but she had no idea that "vajayjay" was a nick-name for vagina!

*palmface*

Open Room Concepts
We took some kids out of class to do some bit of their leadership project.  Afterward, we had to return them to class.

The classrooms are set up in a way that the rooms in the center of the hall don't have doors.  It works perfectly fine in elementary school age.  But in the middle school, it's an open invitation to walk out or randomly walk in and visit friends - which, there's a high rate of.

So, as we're walking the 3 kids back, two of them enter through the first door and the other student goes to the second door, which is further down the hall.  One of the students entering the first door says to the student going to the second door, "Hey!  Where are you going?"  But they see that he's walking into the second door.

I utter, somewhat under my breath, "Huh, I guess he likes the back door....I'm gonna shut up now..."

The intern that was with me gave me a look, and I hung my head down low as we walked away from the classroom.

Bulk Strawberries
One of the lunch mothers brought a couple of strawberries for us to share in.  They were ginormous!

We asked her where she got them, and she said she went to BJ's (for those who might not know, it's like Costco or Sam's Club...and I know...that's not the entire story).

As my boss chomped on her strawberry, we commented on how huge it was.  I said I've never had strawberries from BJ's before, though they must be big because of all the pesticides and hormones.

My boss responded, with a big bite of strawberry in her mouth, "I've had BJ's."

One of the interns laughed.  I held my breath for a moment, and thought of changing the subject but couldn't think fast enough.

I stumbled, "Uh..uh..I've never been to BJ's..only Costco's....."

Then my boss left to run errands, and the intern and myself just laughed our asses off.