10 Day YOU Challenge - 9 Loves

9 loves:

1.  My Kitties

Yoni

Mencken

 2. My Family

3.  My Friends on Both Coasts

map of friends listed on Facebook

4.  My Zune and Music Collection

I've been listening to a lot of Tori lately due to her new album

5.  Dancing

Taken by Nina at Katia's Retreat

6. Food!

mmm..mickey mouse ice cream bar...

 7.  The Ocean and Beach

From Nahant Beach

 8. The Color Green in Every Shade

9.  What else but Mermaids!

my mermaid scarf

 

2 Year Blogoversary on My Parents' 30th Anniversary with 30 Days of Creativity

Today is quite an auspicious day, if I do say so myself.

On June 1st, 1981, my amazing parents became husband and wife.  Thirty years later, they have 3 *pretty awesome* kids, a beautiful home, and a loving marriage.

I joked the other day to the boyfriend (though it was more of a "hint hint"), that part of the reason why they've stayed together for so long is because they Swiffer the house every day.

But in all seriousness, the fact that they both take responsibility for the household and for their kids is generally a strong indicator of the strength of a marriage.  I told them about my joke, and after they laughed they also agreed.

So, for the love of my parents, here's part 1 of my creative item.

Boston, MA
June 1, 2011

On June 1, 2009, I was inspired to create a blog and write my first blog post about all the changes I've been going through in my late 20s.

There's been a lot of ups and downs and lots of changes.  But I'm glad to say that I haven't stopped looking up at the clouds and in the ocean for inspiration.

I've gone on a couple of trips, and I've participated in a couple of other blog events.  My blog has changed and grown, and still continues to change and grow.  But I really enjoy working on it, both on the design and on writing posts.

I'm not trying to get famous or anything.  My brain is just full of different things, and this has been one of the best places for my regurgitation.

So, for the love of my blog, here's part 2 of my creative item.

Boston, MA
June 1, 2011

Outside of the One World One Heart events, I've not actually participated in a month-long event where I have to post every single day.  I will definitely try my best to do so for the 30 Days of Creativity event.

This month is bound to be an interesting one.  Between attempting to work 40 hours at City Hall, continuing subbing at the after school then going full time at their summer program, pushing to keep my side job appointments, among trying to have a social life and continue going to dance class...well, this month is going to be full.

Though it might not seem like I need another thing on my plate, I really think the 30 Days of Creativity will help to keep me grounded and sane.

Happy June Everyone!

A Tribute to My Grandparents on Lola's Death Anniversary

One year ago today, my Lola took her last breath and joined the rest of the stars in the sky.  She wasn't the first of my grandparents to pass, but her death was the one that seemed the most imminent.

Her husband passed in April 1989.  He was a heavy drinker and smoker.  I believe he died from lung cancer.

My first taste of beer

It was the first time I had returned to the Philippines after moving to the US in 1986.  I remember him being extremely loving towards my mom and me.  But the stories of his infidelity to my Lola are what I remember most.  My Lola would talk about how his mistress would even accompany them to church!

It's ridiculous, really, considering that he fathered 12 children with my Lola, that he would still need to get booty elsewhere.

When I was 17, a couple of weeks before my high school graduation, my paternal grandfather passed away.

The Villero Family circa 1988
My Lolo is on the right, holding my brother.

My family lived with my paternal grandparents for about 9 years when we first moved from the Philippines.  He was my chaperon when I would walk back home from school, and he would always treat us with Kit Kat's.  He was an extremely hard worker, and moved to the United States to work so that he could move the rest of his family here.  His boss happened to be named Cecilia.

When I was in my last year of high school, and preparing to graduate, my Lolo had a heart attack.  My memory of it is a bit fuzzy, but I remember him being in the hospital.  Then, my dad came home from the hospital one day and told us that he died.

I was extremely saddened by the news.  He didn't get to see me graduate from high school and go on to college, and I wanted to make the man who literally joined me in my school journey proud.  I'm sure I did.

Luckily, my paternal Lola is still around, tending to her garden and being the fortress that she is.

At that point in my life, I was already creating my own understanding of death and the afterlife.  While I accompanied my Lola's to church every Sunday, I knew that I was not really a religious person.  I am somewhat spiritual, and understand that I can't possibly understand everything about this life and the universe.

Throughout my college years, I would talk with my Lolo (my paternal grandfather), and ask him to keep us all protected the way he did when he was living.  I honestly feel like he did.

So, at this time last year, my Lola was extremely ill.  She wasn't eating much, she wasn't moving around much.  The nurses knew that we all needed to say goodbye.

A week before her funeral, I flew to LA to say goodbye.  I had been living away from home for a long time, so I didn't watch her health steadily decline the way some of my other relatives had.

The day I flew back to Boston, I sat with my Lola in our computer room - which had become her bedroom since she couldn't climb the steps anymore.  I watched her straining to breathe.

I remember it being somewhat awkward.  I wanted to say a lot of things, but the nurse was in the room with me.  I couldn't say anything, really.  I just tried to send my thoughts to her.

I could feel her holding on, and it made me wonder if being religious made you fear death.  Why would she need to hold on?  I told her we would be fine, that we would all be okay.  That I was visiting from Boston, and I would be leaving again that day, but coming back next week (because I was being fairly realistic about her health).  Even in her failing health she was trying to be strong for all of us.

Maybe that's where I get my strength.

And so, today, on her death anniversary, my parents flew back to the Philippines where they buried her next to her husband.  There were multiple days of mourning in 2010, from the wake in Los Angeles to the wakes in Manila.  Then she was finally laid to rest on the 17th of February.

According to Filipino tradition, family members get together again a year after someone's passing to feast and remember.  It almost signifies the end of mourning.

I wish that we were wealthy enough that my whole family could have joined my parents to the Philippines.  But we are all spread around the world remembering our Lola today.

I'm sad that she's no longer with us physically, but I was more sad that she was in so much pain near the end.  In fact, I don't really believe she's any less with us just because she's passed.  If my Lolo's are able to watch over us, then she's surely doing the same.

Lola and me.

I'm kind of hoping that I have a dream about her soon.  I'd like to see her and ask how she's doing, and if she gets to watch the Game Show Network all the time.

Feeling Ranty: About Disney

So, a couple of months ago, I ranted a bit about The Little Mermaid.  Now, I'm going to rant a bit about people's negative opinions about Disney.

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I want to start with a quick disclaimer.  I'm a Disney fan.  I love the movies, I grew up watching the Disney channel (though I couldn't stand to watch it now).  Being a generally open-minded person, I've heard other people's opinions about Disney movies and characters.  I've listened to what they had to say, and I could even see what they were talking about.  But that hasn't stopped me from enjoying the movies.  So, this post acknowledges that people have very different opinions than me.  But this is my blog, so here's my thoughts after much discussion and thinking.

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Let's start with the most obvious thing that people hate on, shall we?

I'm not really sure when Alice became a Princess.
Also, this is definitely not a comprehensive image of all the
Disney female characters.

Disney Princesses
I get it, I really do.  Tons of women, including myself, have been "lied to" and "duped" into thinking that a Prince Charming would come along to sweep us off our feet and ride us into the sunset.  Oh, ya.  And they lived happily every after.

Clearly, that's incorrect.  Clearly, when Disney first began the divorce rate was much lower, rates of reported domestic abuse were lower, and women were not as independent.  With the changes in society, the Disney Princesses have also changed.

Now, let me take the core 6 Disney Princesses that are highlighted on every Disney Princess merchandise item.

Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, and Cinderella were all beautiful and eventually saved by Princes.  Sure, they were all extremely kind to animals as well as fabulous singers.  But, for the most part their stories were being guided by male figures and evil women.

Moving on to the 1990's.

Ariel, Belle, and Jasmin were all beautiful and eventually saved by Princes.  Sure, they were all extremely kind to animals as well as fabulous singers.  But Ariel was independent and strong-willed, Belle was a bibliophile, and Jasmin was curious about other worlds and open-minded.

I could probably go on about how people think they're all horrible role models, how they all cater to some male sexual fantasy, and how they teach little girls the wrong things.

Firstly, why hasn't anyone mentioned the fact that the Disney Princesses are fictional characters, mainly created by male writers?  Yet, we blame the females for their shortcomings.  It could never have been the males fault, oh no.  We need to keep putting the blame on other women because that is the easiest thing to do.

Seeing that the holiday season just ended, I'm going to go with this metaphor:  Why is it okay for your child to believe that it's perfectly acceptable for a strange man to come into your home just because he's bringing a gift, but it's not okay for your child dress up to feel pretty and to believe that they are deserving of a happy and healthy relationship (which you as the parent will help to define for them)?

Really, I'm a strong believer that movies and cartoons are too easily scapegoated when it's the parents who say, "Well, the t.v. can babysit my child while I go do other things or take a rest or whatever."  Don't get me wrong, I understand being exhausted.  But that just doesn't seem like a good reason to skirt responsibility for what your child sees on tv, hears on the radio, or sees in their households and among their friends.

For goodness sake, talk to your child about gender roles at an early age!  It would be just as irresponsible to ignore or not allow your child's interest in "girly, princessy" things, because it would just lead to more misinformation.

Completely Forgotten Characters and Movies
So, first people get angry at Disney because of the Princesses.  But then they get angry at all the other movies for being boring or uninteresting or unoriginal - and those other stories were mainly those that didn't have a female character lead.

The "unoriginal" debate is the most ridiculous thing I've heard.  Disney made itself by taking well-known and well-loved stories and animating them.  Most of the stories were modified in some way or another to make them fit within the film constraints.  I personally can't name a lot of movies that stayed true to the original story as much as possible - well, except maybe the Lord of the Rings trilogy which were 3 hours long!

Now, I'm not going to sit here and say that all the Disney movies were absolutely amazing.  For example, I'm not really a huge fan of "Home On the Range," but I'd probably watch it again if it came into my possession.

But I heard all kinds of negative feedback about "Atlantis," "Treasure Planet," "Tarzan," and a whole host of others.  I could probably rant about the negative opinions about each of them, but I won't.

I just found it extremely interesting that everyone would find something negative about anything Disney would put out.  If there was a female lead, then she must be a horrible role model in some way maybe because she dared to want love.  If there was a male lead, then it was mainly ignored.

I don't know too many people my age who saw the movies I just mentioned above, unless they were Disney fans or have kids.

I just feel like all the Disney hating comes just because there's a name involved.  I get that - they're extremely powerful and own a lot of media outlets.  They get to control what we see in the media.

Yet, that doesn't mean that we aren't in control of our individual wills and thoughts and opinions.

But, those are just my thoughts and opinions.  And it's open for discussion.

Simple Pleasures Sundays - Traditions

As the boyfriend and I drive up to Maine with a blizzard on our tail, I am looking forward to closing my first Christmas away from my family with his family.

In being on the East Coast on my own, I've had to really create my own little family and traditions here so that I wouldn't be so lonely.

While I have some summer traditions like the August party in Vermont and checking out free events, I haven't really had too many winter traditions.  I enjoy spending time with my family for the holidays, expecially for the massive amounts of food and guaranteed good times.

Well, I'd have to say that it's been a wonderful Christmas of building new traditions.

With my best friend visiting from New York City, she really helped me to feel the cheery spirit of the holidays.  She captured it perfectly when she said that she got to see family and then felt ready for the holidays.

Presents!

Then I got to spend Christmas Eve and Christmas Day with my Boston Family.  There was Polish and Indian food cooked at home, and different types of cakes.  There was lots of laughter, lots of stories, and new faces.

Being the youngest of the group, I had the job of handing out presents.  When my family hands out the presents a little after midnight, we usually hand out all the presents and then everyone opens it all up at once.  It's like a really fun free-for-all.  But I had to learn a little bit of patience, since everyone got to open up their presents one at a time.  It was neat seeing what everyone got.

I also got to participate in a Yankee Swap/White Elephant, which I had always watched my older relatives participate in.  It was exciting to be included in the appropriate age group this year.

On the night of Christmas, I got to participate in some "Jewish Christmas" action in one of Boston's many Chinatown restaurants.

I'm still trying to figure out what traditions I would want for my own, but it was neat to participate in others traditions this holiday.  It gives me a bigger basket to choose from later on.

In the Next 2 Weeks

Sometimes, I lose sight of the awesomeness that surrounds me, and I'm reminded that the people are really a huge part of why I'm still on the East Coast.  My friends here are a true testament of the awesomeness of humans.

I feel like my holidays are now completely full of awesome.  And it started with a good friend who gave the boyfriend and I are short strand of Christmas lights.

Truth be told, I teared up a little bit in the backseat of his car when I saw what he gave us.  I had been really sad about not being able to really decorate since the kitties would probably just attack anything I put up, but I also didn't want to have to spend too much money just to decorate.  But this helped to get me energized for the Holidays.

While I couldn't justify buying a tree, I thought that my Bamboozle would be a great alternative.

Oh Bamboozle

With that, I'm feeling more ready for the holiday.

I realized that I couldn't just isolate myself and fall further into depression, so I reached out to my dear friends and now I feel like my remaining 2010 is full.

December 22nd - 23rd - My best friend is coming up from NYC!
December 24th - 25th - Cooking, baking, feasting with my lovely fellow BUSSW friends!
December 26th- 29th - Feasting, snowman building/snow angel making, sauna-ing in Maine with the boyfriend and his family.
December 30th - Prepare for New Years.
December 31st - January 1st - Ring in 2011!

There are 2 full weeks left in 2010.  And now I have a plan to spend it hugging, eating, and laughing.

I Won't Be Home for Christmas

This past weekend, I realized that this Christmas was going to be extremely different from previous years because this would be the first year that I would spend it away from my family.

Since the boyfriend hadn't seen his dad and stepmom since September 2009, I thought that he should definitely spend it with them.  I also wanted to try spending Christmas on the East Coast, and hope for a white Christmas.

Unfortunately, his family dynamics are quite different from mine, and I knew that he wouldn't really reach out to them unless I was coming with him.  So, I had been pushing for him to find out what the plans were for Christmas.  It was taking him a while to get in touch with his dad, and he suddenly admitted that he was just worried that there would be family drama.

At that point, I really realized how different this year is going to be.  While I'm sure it will be an enjoyable and happy holiday, it is definitely going to be different from what I'm used to.

I'm used to tons of (Filipino) food, tons of people, tons of gifts, gift opening at December 24th/12 midnight/December 25th (not the morning of the 25th), loud conversation, and lots of laughs.

Christmas 2009

Last year, the boyfriend got to spend Christmas with my family, when the previous year he had to spend it by himself (due to some family drama).  I figure I need to spend Christmas with his family as well.

With some things coming up for me in terms of my family, I've talked about how I've felt like separating myself a bit.  But, I'm also nervous about my expectations getting in the way of my enjoyment.

I do miss my family, and I'm sad that I'm not going to be with them this year.

But on the other hand, I feel like this is part of growing up.  If I were married, we would have to negotiate the holidays, especially considering that I couldn't expect my partner to be family-less or to not spend time with his family.

I have tons of friends who are already spending holidays away from their families.  This is just the first time I'm doing so.  And really, it's up to me to make it something of my own with my own little family on the East Coast.

Without Family

For a while, I've felt that something was wrong.  Something didn't feel right in my world.  I wasn't sure what it was, and I didn't know how to ask about it.

Then today, I got confirmation.

For a while, I knew that my family was probably not happy with how I dealt with my grandmother's passing in February.  I'm sure that part of it is that I was living across the country, and didn't have to see her diminishing.  However, I also had the clearest head about it.

In her final 2 months, my grandmother was having health issues upon health issues.  She was less and less able to climb the stairs to our room.  She was forgetting things and she was regressing a bit.

It's not the kind of life I would want for any of my family.

I was extremely sad to see the end of her life be so painful.  I knew that her body needed to be at rest, and I anticipated it much easier than a lot of my family did.

While I anticipated that some of my family would be angry at me for mourning differently, I didn't anticipate that my actions would be misunderstood by my family.

Being the eldest of my 2 siblings, my natural inclination is to be the caretaker.  I'm sure that is what has lead me to my chosen profession. 

So, I knew that my inclination was to be the strong caretaker when my grandmother passed.  I wanted to make sure my siblings were okay, that my cousins, aunts, and uncles were okay, and that my mom (most of all) was okay.

The weekend of my grandmother's wake was a busy weekend.  Emotionally, that is.

On Friday night, I took the Fung Wah Bus to New York to be with my best friend.  Saturday morning, we drove to Connecticut to get her things from her ex-husband's house.  Later that evening, I took the bus back to Boston.  Early Sunday morning, the boyfriend and I flew to Los Angeles to join my family for my grandmother's wake.

Skies Over Flights

As we drove to the funeral home, I could feel the exhaustion.  It was going to be a long day, and I had a lot of people to be strong for.

At some point, the boyfriend wanted to go back to the house to watch the Superbowl.  He's a huge football fan, and he didn't want to miss the game.  I drove him back and decided to take the opportunity to rest my eyes and my energy just for a couple of hours.

Then after having some food to regain some energy, I rejoined my family at the wake.

Well, apparently, some people in my family assumed that I left the wake to watch the Superbowl and be with the boyfriend instead of with them.

Actually, I'm sure that some of my family members were angry that I even brought the boyfriend at all.  But he and I were staying in Los Angeles for 2 weeks after the wake to house sit, so of course he flew out with me.

So, okay, fine.  I suppose I didn't need to take a nap from such an exhausting weekend.

But, if they were angry at me for leaving them, why did I have to find this out in December?  If they were angry or frustrated or disappointed at me, why didn't they bring it up to me when those feelings first came up?

I'm hurt that that's what they thought of me.  I'm frustrated that my trying to stay strong was misunderstood.  Sure, I anticipated that they might not understand that I chose to be strong in front of my family, while I cried and mourned privately.  But I didn't anticipate that they would hold on to their misconceptions for so long.

I'm disappointed that they didn't feel like they could talk to me about those things.  But what am I supposed to do that about it?  I can't change the way they mourned and I can't change the way they want to deal with their emotions.

All I can do is speak for myself, on my behalf, and hope that I wouldn't be misunderstood.

Simple Pleasures Sundays - Microwaveable

When I was younger, I marveled at how my mom knew just how long food items needed to be microwaved.  It seemed like she just had this sixth sense about it.

For some reason, I assumed that it was just some magical power that one acquired when they became a mom. 

Now that I'm older, I obviously don't think it's any magical power anymore.  Instead, I've learned that it's a lot of trial and error.  And in our old apartment, it's a lot of waiting time since we can't microwave for more than 1 minute or 1:30 at a time.

However, I so appreciate when our dishware is microwavable.

Microwave safe!

We have a random assortment of plates, some more functional than others.  But, if we were in need of a quick reheating of our food, not being able to find a plate or bowl that we can heat up our food in can get a bit annoying.

One day, when we have less of a college/bachelor-assortment of plates, I look forward to owning an arsenal of practical, microwavable, and stylish dishware.

A Part or In The Middle

So, I don't claim to be an expert on anything other than what I know about myself.  But even then, sometimes I have no idea.

I know the 20's is really a time to be learning more about who you are, making friends from all different parts of the world, and exploring different places.  It's about a lot of change and, hopefully, a lot of growth.  Now, this isn't to say that the rest of your life doesn't include any of those experiences.  But it sometimes feels like the 20's are more saturated with that, seeing that many of my friends who are older are a little more set in their ways.

More recently, however, I've felt more like isolating myself.

Home Is?
With the holidays upon me, I can't pretend that I don't get homesick.  But now the question is, what is home to me?

A good friend of mine recently moved back to the U.S, and he is a much wilder person than I could ever be.  His point of view of the whole thing is that "home" isn't a location, it's the people, so you can be at home anywhere.

This really made me think quite a bit.  I know that I feel at home here in Boston, but I also feel at home in Los Angeles.  The difference right now is that I also feel like a visitor in Los Angeles.  While L.A. is where my family and friends are, Boston is a place where I am also building a life.

Now, if "home" is the people, then it can also be fluid and it can also come to where you are.

Then, why is the impetus always on me to go back to Los Angeles?  Don't get me wrong.  I love L.A.  I love California.  I want to move back there eventually.  But for now, Boston is my home.

I guess money is part of the issue.  It costs more for people to visit me here because of plane tickets and possible hotels.  If I flew to California, I would most likely not have to pay for a hotel.

But there's just something about that that doesn't seem fair.  I like visitors just as much as the next person.

You can find me among the clouds,
drifting between spaces.

Where is the Heart?
In the past year, most of my travels home have been to spend time with family.  Though I wanted to see my friends as well, my family would take precedence. 

In my mind and memories, I've always considered myself extremely close to my family.  The fact that my parents have trusted me to stay in Boston means that they really love me and want me to experience a wide variety of things.  I love my siblings, and I have always encouraged them to explore the world and not get stuck in L.A.  I love my extended family, and though we are so varied and spread out throughout the world, I feel like they are part of what keeps me grounded.

However, I was always somewhat separated.

When I was younger, I was also the oldest of the Los Angeles cousins, older by 5 years.  When I was away at college, they were all still in middle and high school.  Now that I'm in Boston, they're all going through their late teens and early 20's.

On the other end, I'm also the youngest of the group when I consider my older cousins.  Many of them were getting married and having kids when I was in high school and college.

I do have a couple of cousins that are my age, but I didn't grow up with them he way I did with my younger family members.

But more recently, I've just felt so distant.

I don't feel like I'm part of the family.  I don't feel like I'm included in anything.  I feel like I'm last to hear about a lot of things.  Honestly, I feel like I'm being punished for having moved so far away on my own.

This holiday season will be the first time that I'm not going back to L.A. to be with family.  Because the boyfriend hasn't been able to see his family at all for more than a year, and I've been to L.A. 3 times this year, I wanted us to be able to spend time with his family as well.  Plus, with the kitties still young, we don't want to leave them alone for too long.

Now that my maternal grandmother passed earlier this year, I feel like there isn't necessarily a need to have family parties in our house anymore.  So, I know my parents and brother are going to San Francisco to be with my sister for Thanksgiving.  It's awesome that they all get to be together, and I'm sad to miss the experience.

But in the next year, it'd be nice if I got a visit.  From anyone.  Maybe because they're also homesick for me.

Living the American Dream

There's been a lot of talk in the news about immigration lately.  From all this business in Arizona to all the attacks on the 14th amendment.

I'm not going to wax poetic about why all of these recent events are just so wrong, but I do want to say that it's a shame that families and especially children are being attacked in all of this.

But I have been thinking a lot about a lot of the reasoning behind families immigrating into the United States.  Specifically, I've thought a lot about the American Dream.

Part of what I understand to be the "American Dream" is that the United States is the "land of opportunity."  Opportunities for jobs, better education, better standard of living.  Who wouldn't want something like that for their children?

Thought I think there's something to be said for finding ways to improve ones situation, I also think there's something to be said for absolute desperation.  There is desperation in abandoning all that you've ever known to go to brave a new world.

Don't get me wrong.  My mom and I moved to Los Angeles from the Philippines when I was 4 years old after being petitioned by my dad who was already living here with his family. We were lucky to already have the family connection, but I'm sure that part of the reason for moving to the U.S. was for that "American Dream."

The "American Dream" never felt so real for me until I was home in Los Angeles after our trip to Greece.

There's been a lot of movement and moving around in our house.  The weekend I was home, my siblings were also home, and my dad came home from working in Fresno.  But on Monday, I got to see how the regular day to day played out.

One of our cousins live with us, and she works the night shift.  My mom wakes up early to head to work, and gets home usually in the afternoon.  My dad is gone during the week, having been placed in Fresno, about 3 hours away.  My brother is living in Irvine, working hard and occasionally coming home on the weekends.  My sister is in San Francisco for school.  And of course, I am 3000 miles away in Boston.

Now, being home in Los Angeles for me is a constant string of questions starting in "When" and ending in "are you moving back home?"

I constantly have that question playing through my mind, especially being unemployed.  Watching my mom and cousin go through the motions of their days was somewhat eye opening.  I have always imagined our house as constantly lively, loud with laughter and smelling of Filipino cooking.  To see that it was more subdued and quiet, and perhaps even lonely, made me realize why I was always asked the same question over and over.

But, I ask, isn't this just part of the "American Dream?"  To have your children grow up, go to college, and find careers?  And isn't part of that experience to have a nice house that is basically empty because you've done your job of rearing your kids to get involved in higher education, have various job opportunities, and raise their standard of living by owning their own empty house one day?

Obviously, no one has to live up to those specific ideals.  But I do feel that it's one of the residual parts of attaining that dream, a part that no one really thinks about.  Interestingly, I do know that it is also portrayed in the media, but they mainly show you the young person's perspective as that is who they're marketing to.

So, here I am, back in Boston, living out that "American Dream."  I wish it was more like those movies, where I get to go home to do my laundry, or I go to visit my crazy family and some hilarious series of events happen which lead to someone finding the love of their life for the movie.

Instead, some of the joys of "being an adult" and being on my own is coupled with some of the loneliness of being away from the family and knowing that some of the family is away from the home.

Do you think new immigrants are aware of that part of the dream?

Living the dream

My Big Fat Greek Adventure - Back to Athens and Back to Reality

July 14th was the day we left Santorini.  It was actually really quite a sad day for us, as we had both fallen in love with the island.

At some point in our stay, Jenny clued me in to the fact that we had been staying up pretty late, and usually end up back at the hostel at around 3am.  I cannot even begin to tell you how surprised I was! Well, suffice it to say, we had been getting up later than usual.  So, on our last day, we wanted to make sure we were in the ocean for one last time.

Last time in the Santorini ocean

But we only really got to spend about 20 minutes in the water due to us having had another late night that last night with the Albanians from Fusion Bar.  We had to pack, and be really creative about it since we managed to buy a couple of souvenirs for folks back home.

At around 10am, Tony brought these 2 German dudes, Jenny, and I back to the Athinios Port.  And in true Greek fashion, he stopped at a waiting area and said, "Okay! Thank you for staying with us! Goodbye!"

We hopped out of the car, not having a single clue where our ferry was going to be and what to look for.  "Okay. Now you jump."

Happy Anniversary!

One year ago, I decided to embark on an exciting adventure that is this blog.  Here I am, a year later, and still excited about sharing more with you all.

I wish I could tell you that I had a super-awesome give-away in honor of my blogoversary, but alas, I got nothing.

Unless, of course, any one of you would be interested in winning another personalized shirt with the "Maganda Malakas Sirenas" logo on it?  Or perhaps just a shirt with the mermaid tail?  Or maybe you don't want a shirt, but a skirt or a scarf?  I'm open.

Pick this design...

Or this design...

Then choose a color.

The Rules:

• Leave me a comment!  Just say hi!
• Tell me what color and size you would like in a shirt (American Apparel).
• Please leave your email, so that I can get in contact with you!
• If you share this give-away with anyone else, and they post a comment referring to you, you get 2 entries.
• If you have a translation of "mermaid" that I don't already have or you help me with one of the ones I already have (on the far right column), you get another entry.
• I'll pick a winner on June 30th via random number generator.

Relatively easy, yes?  I promise that next year, I'll have a brand spankin' new give-away.

But, on the topic of Anniversaries, today is also my parents' 29th Anniversary.  I know I'm one of the lucky folks who still have parents who love each other dearly.  It hasn't all been perfect.  There's been nights of someone sleeping on the couch, or arguing/debating, or losing patience.  But, for the most part, I know my parents love each other very much.  And they've done one hell of a job raising 3 crazy kids, 4 different dogs, and a pond of koi fish.

Here's one example (out of so many!) of how awesome my parents are:  When I was done with grad school, and things fell apart with my ex, I was at a crossroads - somewhat similar to the crossroads I'm currently facing.  Should I try to find another apartment in Boston?  Should I move home?  Should I go someplace completely different? 

While I know my parents would have wanted me to move home (like they're wanting me to now), they said to me, "You know, you could stay in Boston, you could move to Chicago, you could move back to L.A., but we know that no matter where you are, you'll be okay."

Truth be told, that little bit of encouragement has stuck with me.  So, while this blog is just another thing that I've stuck with, like choosing to live cross-country (for now), it's really a testament to my parents' never ending support.

With that, I leave you with a video of how my parents are, no matter who's in the room.  Happy Anniversary, to Gerry and Ani!

Dog-lover Transitioning

Let's revisit another of my 2010 Goals and how well I'm doing so far.

2. Adopt 2 kitties with my boyfriend.

Well, we had put it off for a while.  What with the job situation for the both of us and house and dog sitting in Los Angeles for nearly 2 weeks, we felt we had to put it off. 

While we were in L.A, a friend of ours lets us know that her and her husband have taken in a stray kitty that was coming up to their porch.  Seeing that they already had 2 cats and 4 ferrets, they didn't think it would be wise for them to keep another kitty.  They knew that we were talking about adopting, so they asked if we would want to take this kitty.

I told them that I would leave that up to the boyfriend.  I, a dog-lover by nature, had very limited interactions with cats.  My family is much more dog-oriented, and the cats in our neighborhood were either all perched across on the porch across the street from my family's house or screech-moaning loudly in the middle of the night.

One thing I did know about cats was that they loved to sleep ON me.  Every time I would sleep over anyone's house that had kitties, I'd wake up to them nesting on my legs.  I always felt very constrained and trapped by that, mainly because I didn't want to startle them into clawing my thighs.

So, after being in the warm L.A. weather and bonding with the doggies, my boyfriend decided that we were ready for a kitty.

Did I mention the mice problem in our apartment?

Well, our apartment is old, perhaps built in the 1910's or 20's.  We have one of those elevators that have 2 doors to open, one being an accordion-type door.  It's old.  The wiring is old.  The walls and piping are old.  We also live in a neighborhood of Boston that has a lively vermin culture (for various reasons I suppose...but I like to blame the dirty college students...).  In fact, there's a bar/restaurant at the corner of our street, and our window overlooks it's roof.

We needed a kitty.  Badly.

Well, on the last day of February, the boyfriend and I welcomed this little one into our home.

Brawny Kitty!

We were nervous that she would take a while to get comfortable.  Coming from a place where she was not the "boss," we thought she might need to do a lot of adjusting.  But she was so chill!  

sniff sniff

At first, she did some sniffing and exploring.  We went to Target in the morning, so we were prepared with a pet carrier, litter box, food, catnip, laser pointer toy, and a little bed for her to get comfy on in the living room.

But she settled right in.  Our awesome friends did a great job in taking care of her.  They had taken her to get spayed the Friday before, so now we have to find her a local veterinarian and keep up on her check-ups.  The doctor said that she might be close to a year old, but we were lucky that our friends found her before she was knocked up.

It was surprising to the both of us that she was so comfortable from the get go!  She's still doing a lot of exploring, and she's possibly found the corner where the mice come through.  But if we're in the other room, she wants to be there with us.  She's already following us around the apartment, and she was very happy snuggling in bed with us.

snuggles

Oh, yes...her name.

Well, the boyfriend let me name her.  Everybody, meet Yoni.

So, while the goal was to adopt 2 kitties, the year is young.  Right now, we are so very happy with Yoni.  I feel like having her in our lives is just what we needed.  January and February were rough, as you all know. Strangely, I kept feeling like I needed to change the calendar to March a week before March was even here!

For us, Yoni really is the divine transition into a new part of our year and our lives.

Re-Posting: "Sinigang, sinigang, I love sinigang."

Ash Wednesday happened to also be the day my Lola was buried along with my Lolo (grandfather) in the Philippines.  The family and I are still somewhat in mourning, unfortunately, but we're getting better at it.

I had posted in the beginning of the month that I would use this blog to share recipes of the foods my Lola used to stuff our faces with.  Clearly, it's taken me a while..but honestly, I think it's because I struggled with the finality of it all.

Here we are, near the end of the month, and I'm finally ready to post a recipe (which doesn't mean that I haven't done a hell of a lot of eating!).  But, I'm cheating, as this is a re-post.

Without further ado, here is my family's recipe for Sinigang:

Embracing My Own Pace - "Friend M"

 

"Friend M"

"As I think about the conversations I've had with my parents about marriage and babies, I think the bottom line is that my parents want a grandchild.  It seems like they want a grandchild more than wanting me to get married.

"They've told me that they'll take care of my kids while I work, which is nice, but...I'm so not ready.  I'm sure when I find that special someone, marriage will fall together naturally.  I feel like I need to be financially and emotionally stable to actually "settle down" for marriage and kids.

"It's been two years since I've lived away from home.  I can hardly take care of myself and there are more things that I want to do in my career. And to be quite honest, I enjoy living on my own right now.

"But don't get me wrong, I want to get married eventually and have that dream wedding that people are always dreaming about!  I plan to dance down the aisle with my dad instead of walk down the aisle, and I too have picked out names for future babies! (LOL!) But I'm just not quite ready to settle down yet."

Some Background On M's Parents:

"They were never really the typical conservative Asian parents that all the other Asian kids talk about.  In elementary school, they focused on grades.  But after seeing how bad I did in middle school, they gave up and were like, 'Just let her be! She'll figure something out.'

"So after elementary school, there was no pressure to do well in school, no pressure to become a doctor or a lawyer.  They always encouraged me to do what I wanted and they told me that they'll support me in whatever I do, so in turn, I knew that they trusted me and would support me and to that I'm so grateful."

Random Collection of Conversations:

1 - With Dad.

"Last Father's Day, my dad was telling me about a friend of his who just had his first grandchild.  I jokingly said to him, 'Uh oh, that means, I should start having kids, huh daddy?'  I expected him to say, 'No, no, you keep working and doing what you want.'  But instead, he said (as he laughed), 'Yeah, you should hurry up! Definitely before you're 30!'

Here's how the conversation went:

Dad:  So, how are things going? Are you seeing anyone interesting?

Me:  No, if I were seeing someone, you would definitely know!

Dad:  You're going to be 30 soon...

Me:  (Whoa, wtf?! Wait a minute!) I have 2 more years before I turn 30! Well, techinically 3!

Dad:  No, you ONLY have two more years!"

Me:  Then daddy, PRAY that I find a guy like Akira from EXILE (this popstar that I love)

Dad:  (laughs hysterically) That's never going to happen!

Akira at a movie premiere

2 - With Mom.
"My mom, on the other hand is like, 'Don't listen to to your dad! I had you when I was 32!'   She would always say that I too would be getting married late in life like her.  But she does drop hints that parents love taking care of their grandchildren.

"Once I had a conversation with my mom over the phone about how she would feel if I came back home from Japan pregnant and unmarried.  Would she freak?!

"She answered, 'M, being a single mom is very tough, it would be better if you were married because raising a kid on your own is hard--but if that happens, daddy and I will help you.'

"To be honest, I was kinda surprised to hear that, but I think it comes from her not being conservative (sometimes I think I'm a bit more conservative than my parents!).

"It could also be because my cousin in Japan knocked up his girlfriend, got married, and my mom's older brother LOVES his granddaughter and that's influencing her.  And nowadays in Japan, it's not surprising to see people getting married after they find out they're expecting.  Times are changing.

"Two weeks ago, I was on the phone with my mom and she expressed that she would be shocked to find out if I was going out with someone (What?! I'm so confused!)."

Mom:  To be honest, I think I'd be shocked when the day comes when you tell us that you have a boyfriend.

Me:  Why?! I would think you and Daddy would be happy to hear that I FINALLY have a boyfriend after all this talk about not having a boyfriend for 27 years! (Gasp! I know...)

Mom:  Well...

Me:  Is it because you think I would love him more than you guys?

Mom:  (long pause) Yes, we'd be sad that you've found someone that would mean more to you than your parents, like we've been replaced...

Me:  Oh Mommy! I'm still going to love you the same way! (jokingly) Do you expect me to never get married and grow old with you guys?!

Mom:  Well...yes...(serious tone)

Me:  What?!

Mom:  Well..that would be an option.

Me:  Wha?! I eventually want kids you know!

Mom:  Yeah, I know, you can always dump the guy if things don't work out between you two - daddy and I will help you out. Every parent would love to take care of their grandchild...

Me:  (laughs) I'm going to get knocked up then!

Mom:  (laughs) Be safe!

Me:  Wha?!

"So, that means I have my mom's approval to get knocked up!

"I proceeded to tell her I had a baby daddy in mind.  She retorted, 'Akira from EXILE huh?! I give up! M, listen, you're never going to get married and have kids if you're too busy obsessing over a popstar!'

Akira in EXILE's LOVE album

"My mom might be right - I am too busy obsessing over the popstar I love.  So I'm beginning to think they have a valid reason for being a bit worried!  But that doesn't change the fact that I'm still not ready."

J-Pop Star also means Movie Star.  Akira in "Yamagata Scream"

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Thank you "Friend M" for contributing your story!

If you'd like to share your story, check out the "embracing my own pace" section on the right-hand sidebar for details!