Reflections on 2012 and 2013 Goals

Well, hello there!

Happy 2013!!!

It's certainly been a busy time.  A lot has happened in the past year, the first half being extremely different from the second half.  But before I get going on details, let's review some unresolved goals from the past, shall we?

2011-1.  Get a full-time job that I feel excited and passionate about.
Well, the part-time job didn't become a full-time job.  I'm actually realizing that maybe having several part-time jobs is the way to go.  At this point, there's still not enough financial support for the things I want to do, and I'm not ready to go for creating an organization quite yet.  But, I have been hired for a part-time position in a place I love with tasks I wanted more experience in!  So, yay!

2012-1.  Seriously learn how to budget and handle my finances better.

Completely neglected.  Again.  I don't have much finances to manage, so, there's that.

2012-2.  Reach my 30th birthday at least a little lighter, physically, emotionally, and mentally - including learning how to lessen the busyness in my life.

This is both a point of pride as well as a laughable goal! I definitely did a great job at the physical, emotional, and mental lightness.  But the busyness hasn't stopped!  In fact, I was crazy in the month of December with so many social and work engagements!  I think maybe I just need to learn how to manage the busyness a lot better.

2012-3.  Visit the ocean even more than I did in 2011.

ACCOMPLISHED!  I went to the beach so many times with the man.  I went to new beaches, familiar beaches, cold beaches, and warmer beaches.  It was lovely.

2012-4.  Learn to cook and bake at least 2 new items.

I learned how to bake Buko Pandan Cupcakes and I learned how to cool Eggplant Parmesan!   This year, I'd like to tackle pies, frittatas, and quiches.

2012-5.  Make more music and dance more.

I am happy to report that I definitely danced more, with the help of the Dance Central game on the XBOX Kinect and the encouragement of my belly dance teachers.  I didn't necessarily make more music, but I did sing a lot more karaoke!

Honestly, 2012 was an amazing year.  I feel like I could feel how awesome 2012 was going to be, and I'm looking forward to a fun 2013 as well.

So, let's get to my 2013 Goals!

1.  Like, seriously do better about managing my finances.  Like, seriously.

2.  Keep in touch better both with people I care about and people I'm only acquaintances with.

3.  Take more trips.  The first goal is a long weekend in Vegas.

4.  Refocus on being healthy for myself, and not get bogged down by what others think I should be doing.

5. Refocus on building the kind of career I want.

Let's do this 2013!

2012!!! Goals and Reflections

2010 and 2011 Goals Review
2010-1.  Focus more on being healthy and eating smaller portions rather than the number on the scale. But I also wanted to add that I will not look at the scale as my enemy.  I need to use the scale as a tool, a means to the end rather than just the end.
Well, I'm still a bit scared of the scale, but I'm not dreading it as much as I used to.  I'm definitely learning to use it as a tool just to monitor the fluctuations in my efforts.


2010-2.  Learn to let go and move away from things that might be holding me back.
A huge part of this is recognizing what is holding me back, and perhaps moving away from it before I get in too deep.
It took me most of 2011 to figure this one out.  Looking at this goal, I know that staying with my ex was really holding me back.  So now I've broken free from that unhealthy relationship, and I'm more open to other possibilities in my life.
 

2011-1.  Get a full-time job that I feel excited and passionate about.
Got a job that I'm super excited and passionate about!! But it's not full-time.  I'm hoping that this is just the repercussions of the bad economy, and that a full-time job or at least full-time hours is in my near future.  I have a feeling that it is.
 
2011-2.  Go to Mexico with the Goddesses in October!
The trip was changed to Vegas.  ACCOMPLISHED!
 
2011-3.  Learn how to budget and handle my finances better.
Alas, this was one that I neglected.  Completely neglected.
 
2011-4.  Move into a new (and slightly larger) apartment or remove larger pieces of furniture from this apartment to make it seem more roomy.
Moved into a new and definitely larger apartment and definitely got rid of larger pieces of furniture from my life.  ACCOMPLISHED!
 
2011-5.  Relearn basic conversational Tagalog and Spanish. 
I was doing really good in the beginning of the year when I still had all the time in the world.  I'm going to keep this as a constant goal.

Are you ready to see my 2012 list? Here it is!

2012 Goals
1.  Seriously learn how to budget and handle my finances better.
2.  Reach my 30th birthday at least a little lighter, physically, emotionally, and mentally - including learning how to lessen the busyness in my life.
3.  Visit the ocean even more than I did in 2011.
4.  Learn to cook and bake at least 2 new items.
5.  Make more music and dance more.

2011 was a really tough year.  It was full of disappointments, endings, and broken promises.  I'm really hoping the 2012 will bring only amazing experiences, especially since I'm turning 30 this year.

But, since I'm not one to just let things happen on their own, I'm planning to seek out a better new year every time I open my eyes in the morning.

Happy New Year To You and Yours!!!

Bit O' Catch-Up - Break-Ups, Thanksgiving in NYC, and Moving

This time, I'm absolutely not pulling your leg when I say that it's been a really crazy busy month.  So, I'm going to attempt to succinctly tell you all about my Thanksgiving in New York as well as other significant life events.

Ready? Go!

Breaking Up Is Hard to Do...Except When It's Harder Not To...
In a way, I wasn't really expecting it since I thought my situation with the boyfriend was improving.  But, it was kind of a long time coming.  I honestly don't know (except that I do, and it's not anything I would post about here) why it took so long for me to follow through on this.  At the end of the day, I'm so much better for it.


Thanksgiving in NYC
Being that I couldn't spend Thanksgiving with the now-ex and because I was kind of anticipating some distance between us, I was happy to have already planned to see my best friend in New York for Thanksgiving.

We had a low key evening of cooking, but celebrated by going to see The Muppets movie.

Fall in New York is Better with Good Company

Had some Turkey at Whole Foods earlier that day,
but had a really healthy veggie dinner later...
of course with some pecan pie...

We could only be with each other for a short less-than-48 hours, so I had to leave the next morning.  But she introduced me to this delicious place called Doughnut Plant, which is one hell of a step up from Dunkin' Donuts.

They have flavors like...TRES LECHES!!!!
which...is f*&^ing amazing...
(picture from Leti)

I definitely took some to go with their home-made chai

Moving On and Moving Forward
It was tough and honestly really scary to know that I had to uproot my life once again.  It's like I keep getting myself into the same situation, hoping for a better end result.  It's the definition of crazy.

But when I had my lowest of lowest days at the end of November, December started to really show me that things can get better.

I had so much trouble finding a new place to live, and I was conflicted about staying in Brighton, which is where I had basically been since I've been in Boston.  Part of me knew that I needed a clean break and moving to a new part of town seemed like the best way to do it.

Eventually, I did find a place and couldn't believe my luck when I realized I had cool landladies and roommate.  I had never been so excited to pick up a key.

opening up to new beginnings

But never had I been so sad to leave behind all that I did.

some of the last of my things

Particularly, I am still feeling devastated to have left Mencken.  It was clear that we had to do what we did - Yoni is much more bonded to me and Mencken to him.  But Mencken was my baby boy.  I found him on Craigslist.  I know that cats adjust a lot quicker than humans do to new situations.  But can you really blame me for wishing to have them both with me or at least with each other?  I am so happy to have Yoni, though.

So, now I'm at my new place, and I have been since December 17th.  I'm lucky to know some amazing people who helped me transport my ridiculous amount of possessions to Jamaica Plain.  Anyone who helps you move is definitely owed some serious favors.  I literally owe those people my life and then some.

First Tarot Spread of 2011

I've been meaning to pull out my tarot cards for a while now.  With the new year, I sometimes feel like change needs to happen so instantaneously.  Like, at the strike of midnight, my troubles will turn into a pumpkin.

While I know that's not how it works, I still need to get some extra guidance.  And what better time than when there's a new moon in the sky!

As I shuffled the cards, I thought a lot about my financial worries, really looking for a job, all the ideas I've had and plans I've made or put on hold.

Interestingly, all of the cards were quite fitting with each other, and they were all in the Swords, Chalices, and Pentacles suites.  If you know a little about tarot, I'd love to hear your thoughts on that!

Swords, not one of my favorite suits, are generally about thoughts, challenges, and often strife.  Chalices are generally about relationships, emotions, and love.  Pentacles are generally about earthly matters, material things, and finances.

First spread of the year

I did a modified Celtic Cross spread based on several bits of information from other tarot card readers I know.

The start of the spread touched upon my unemployment, losing faith in myself, evaluating and re-evaluating my goals.  It talked about how there will be lulls in my worrying, but it can return if I'm not able to recognize the light within me.  It talked about how past is past, and it's time to move on. 

The spread encouraged me to keep fighting and keep going, to stay motivated.  I've done quite a lot of work, and I need to be able to evaluate it with fresh eyes and continue working.  I have a lot of options coming my way, and I need to make choices based on what I love and not what will pay me the most - otherwise, I will just fail.  The spread reminded me about all that I do have, and that I need to share what I have with others. 

A new job or a new opportunity is on its way, according to the Knave of Pentacles, one where I can use my past resources but also build new experiences.  It talks about how I need to maintain some balance between all the things I'm involved in, and to not be afraid of putting one project aside in order to make room for a new project.  The Ace of Swords talks about all the potential I have within me, and it can work in my favor if I am able to see it, but to stay true to my beliefs.

Finally, my previous boss pointed out that a major spread should be concluded with a card from the Major Arcana.  So, as I pulled out more cards, the first Major Arcana card to show itself was The Moon.

Really, how appropriate that this card would show itself on the day of a New Moon.  Really, generally, how appropriate.

The Moon touches upon having to walk my path through some darkness, and possibly by myself.  I have to keep the faith in myself and let go of my mental blocks.  I can't wait for the sun to show, because the opportunities might disappear at that point.  Eventually, the path will be revealed and the lessons I've learned during this journey will only benefit me later.

Definitely some valuable insight in this reading.  One that I've heard from others, and need constant reminders of.  I might be holding on to The Moon card, perhaps place it in my datebook as a reminder.

Beginnings and Rumblings

It's only day 4 of 2011 and I can feel the momentum building.  There's movement and action, and I'm hoping it will all lead to bigger and better things.

While I was in Maine last week, I got an email about an opportunity to teach sex ed at a high school in the Greater Boston area.  All kinds of things went through my mind at the sight of the email.  I must have read it and reread it several times before making any more moves.

First, I had to think practically.  Could I get to the school by public transportation?  Would I be hearing back from previous jobs?  Do I have to reschedule anything?

After I figured out those logistical things, I responded to the email and spent the remainder of last week preparing for it.  At one point, I met with another volunteer and the head of the organization.

I was a bit nervous, truth be told.  While I was excited to interact with kids again and doubly excited to teach a sex ed curriculum, I started feeling some self-doubt.  Having no experience teaching sex ed and being unfamiliar with the curriculum, I just didn't know if I wold be able to pull it off.  It was almost as though I had forgotten how much experience I had under my belt.

But as we met and discussed the curriculum, I realized that I had nothing to worry about.  I know this is going to sound bad, but I actually felt better after the other volunteer asked me if I had experience teaching classrooms.  After quickly going through my experience and realizing that she was just applying for a Masters in Social Work and Sex Education, I calmed myself down.

Basic fundementals

When Monday finally arrived, I was nervous and excited.  I made sure to double check the bus directions, double check the curriculum, and double check my belongings.

As I exited the Haymarket T station, I looked around to eye all the bus numbers.  Realizing that I might be in the wrong section, I asked a T worker.  He said, "I don't know.  I actually just work with the subway."  I'm sorry, but why don't you know more about the services the T has?  Clearly, this is why they're losing money!

Frantic, I quickly walk to another exit, but I don't see my bus number and there's no other T worker around.  I quickly grab my phone and try to figure out where the bus is supposed to pick up.  I realize I'm most definitely at the wrong station, and there's no way I'm catching this extremely infrequent bus!

I had no other choice but to back track back to my neighborhood and grab a Zipcar.  I feel so flustered, but I knew I wasn't going to be late, since the bus would have gotten me there nearly 1 and a half hours before I needed to be there.

As I'm waiting in Government Station for the B line, I get a local phone call.  Since my cell has an L.A. area code, I know whether or not to pick up an unknown number.

The phone call is for a job I applied for back in December.  I schedule an interview for Tuesday.

Well, if these two days are any indication, I'm really hoping that there's more to come. In fact, this entire week is full of awesome.

All week I'll be teaching a sex ed curriculum.  The job interview went extremely well, especially after a fellow BUSSW alum peeked in and gave me an on-the-spot recommendation!  I will be contacting another agency tomorrow to inquire about a job I applied for.  The boyfriend will be starting grad school on Thursday.  I will hopefully hear back about the most recent job interview by Friday.  And the weekend will be dedicated to my side job and a sales meeting.

I am feeling eternally grateful for this week.  I feel busy and active and useful. 

Just a little more of that, please, 2011.  A healthy, manageable amount of activity that still leaves time for my side business to grow and for me to spend time with the soon-to-be-busy boyfriend and the kitties.

"If we forget old times, we will not forget their memories"

Happy Happy New Year Everyone!

May 2011 be full of deliciousness, embraces, dancing, and laughter.

A Final Look Back via Facebook

10 Lessons I've learned in 2010, and will probably continue to learn:
1. Sometimes, things are really difficult.  But there's a lesson to learn from all the difficulties.
2. I am generally a cheerful person, but when I am depressed I need to be able to ask for help.
3. Setting goals is not just about visualizing.  It is mainly about action.
4. I'm pretty good with kids...but I love my teens.
5. Home is the people, not the places.
6. Love comes in all forms.  Sometimes it's in the form of 2 fuzzball kittens, even though you've been considered a "dog person."
7. Connections matter a lot when it comes to getting a job.
8. To appreciate where you're going, you have to appreciate where you've been.
9. If you have found a great travel partner, you are extremely lucky.
10. Hugging is extremely important.

Thanks for the opportunities, 2010.  You were extremely memorable.  But I'm glad to see you go.

2011 Goals!

In the past year, I set out to focus on 5 goals.  I'm proud to say that I had accomplished 3 out of 5 2010 Goals.  But I know there's still more I need to work on.  So, in addition to continuing my remaining goals from 2010, I am adding on 5 more for 2011.

2010 Goals Continuation
1.  Focus more on being healthy and eating smaller portions rather than the number on the scale.
But I also wanted to add that I will not look at the scale as my enemy.  I need to use the scale as a tool, a means to the end rather than just the end.
2.  Learn to let go and move away from things that might be holding me back.
A huge part of this is recognizing what is holding me back, and perhaps moving away from it before I get in too deep.

2011 Goals
1.  Get a full-time job that I feel excited and passionate about.
2.  Go to Mexico with the Goddesses in October!
3.  Learn how to budget and handle my finances better.
4.  Move into a new (and slightly larger) apartment or remove larger pieces of furniture from this apartment to make it seem more roomy.
5.  Relearn basic conversational Tagalog and Spanish.

What are your goals?  Share them in the comments below OR email me and I will post a special blog post dedicated to you.  That way, you can refer to the link throughout the year.

I think it's so important to have accountability partners.  So, I would be more than honored to be yours.

Gettin' Back on the Heatlhy Wagon

Here's my #3 Goal for 2010:

3. Focus more on being healthy and eating smaller portions rather than the number on the scale.

This road has been a rough one.  I feel like I've spent my whole adult life working on it, and I'm still in the midst of it.

Hi.  My name is Cecilia.  I'm an emotional eater.

Butternut squash...nom nom nom...

With all that's been happening this month thus far, it's been really tough to not snack on EVERYTHING.  But, as I mentioned in an earlier post about my Goal #5, this is the year I'm going to do it.

The truth is 2009 was a great year for my weight loss.  I met a lot of inspiring people, I got really motivated and utilized my Netflix membership to save money, and I ate a lot of really healthy food that the boyfriend and I cooked ourselves.

I've totally slacked on this.  Obviously, the holidays have a way of messing with everyone's weight loss goals, so I'm trying not to be too harsh.  But I know I need to get re-motivated.

I'm going to start by re-naming my "weight loss goals" to "healthy lifestyle goals."  I have a lot of bad habits, the biggest of which is not taking care of myself when things get really stressful.

As I mentioned before, I've already signed up for yoga and pilates classes at a local studio.  I'm also taking belly dance classes 2x a week from 2 different teachers.  All of this is mainly for my mental health.  But the sweating ain't so bad either.

I will probably start up again with Jillian Michaels' DVD's.  She's super intense, but I love her workouts!  Even the 30-Day Shreds (which I stretch out to more than 30 days) are ridiculously intense for about 30 minutes a workout.

When it comes to food, well, we have a complicated relationship.  Strangely, when I was living by myself, I had an easier time staying away from a lot of snacks and so I wouldn't randomly eat stuff even when I wasn't hungry.

One thing I truly miss is our CSA membership.  It was really easy to focus on eating healthier when we needed to pick up fruits and vegetables every week.  But that's not a good excuse.  The boyfriend and I have both lacked a lot of veggie intake since the CSA ended, and we should have continued buying them in the grocery store.

Luckily (or unluckily, depending on the outcome), the yoga studio is housed in the same building as a super market.  So, I can really commit to going straight to the fruit and veggie section.  At least, until the CSA pick-ups start up again in June.

Alrighty.  Did you get all that?  Let's review shall we?

1.  Workout schedule:  Monday and Tuesday is for belly dance.  Wednesday and Thursday is for yoga and a pilates/yoga combo.  Friday with a rest day or a 30-Day Shred workout (I have to give myself some leeway...it's been a rough month, remember?), but will start committing to a 30-Day Shred workout more often than not.  Saturday is pilates.  Sunday is rest (but if I'm feeling highly motivated, I will do some belly dance practice).

2.  Buy veggies after my pilates class on Saturday - at least enough for the rest of the week.  I will start planning ahead with the boyfriend to make sure we don't over do it or waste a lot of food.  I will also start really paying attention to my moods and my hunger response.  Admitting you have a problem is the first step, right?  So, there you go.

Starting anew...

Shoulda shoulda shoulda

I guess I couldn't have left Los Angeles without getting at least one comment on either my weight or my lack of husband and children.

For a good part of my 20's, I escaped the husband and children lecture.  Clearly, since I was still in school, I needed to focus on that instead.  The weight issue is another story.

I'm Filipino.  I was taught to finish all my food because of those goddamned kids in China and Africa (even though we also came from a third-world country).  Holidays are tables fool of food (as you can see from my Christmas post) and eating the whole night.  Yes, I played outside instead of watching TV for the most part (in fact, I did not grow up watching Saved By The Bell like so many of my friends).

So, I still got chubby.  It probably didn't help that after swimming class at the YMCA, we would go to McDonald's.  It also probably didn't help that when I was around 5 or 6, I thought I needed to weigh 50 or 60 pounds, and that a 0 would be tacked onto my age as I got older.  Weird, I know.  I learned quickly that that wasn't true.  I don't weigh 270 lbs.

And while the doctors would lecture me about my weight, I was still okay with myself.  Then I started going home to visit for the holidays.  My paternal grandmother, whom I love but scares me a little, starts grabbing at my arms, "You should lose weight!  You'd be pretty if you did!"

Yikes.  I started avoided visiting her because of the comments and the arm grabbing.

My mom was another culprit.  Not a visit would go by without a comment on my weight - at least within the first 24 hours.  She would then follow her comment by saying that it's still healthy that I had fat on my body, and I would be regarded as wealthy in the Philippines.

In the past couple of years, I started getting more serious about my weight.  I joined an expensive gym, do workout DVDs at home, started counting my calories.  I lost maybe 10 lbs.  Then I started focusing more on eating more vegetables and got into riding my bike to and from work.  I lost another 10 lbs.

Still nowhere near where I'd like to be, but I'm only really unhappy with my body around my family and when I get on the scale.

But this past vacation, I almost didn't hear anything about my weight.  Almost.

nom nom nom

It's only been recently, since I've finished school, that I've gotten comments about getting married and having a family.  My maternal grandmother is the one pushing this topic this time.

The general gist is that I need to hurry up and have kids because I'm getting older.  But, now I'm getting it from my aunts and uncles on my maternal side as well.  Just when I think I was going to survive another holiday without getting lectured....well...2 days before I left for Boston, it happened.

 mickeyandminnie.tumblr.com

With that, I now present to you the dialogue between my family and me at around 11:30pm on New Years Eve.

Tito E:  You know, you should have babies now.
Me:  WHAT?? Oh my god...I'm soooo not there right now!  I'm still a baby myself!
Tito E:  Well, the older you get the harder it will be to have kids.  So you should hurry up.
Me:  But what about all my other cousins?  Are you saying the same to them?  They're older than me!
Tito E:  Well, you have a partner.
Tita B:  Yes...you already have a boyfriend.
Me:  I'm so not ready to have a family right now.
Tito E:  Well, as long as you have kids before you're 35.
Nanay (my mom):  Hah?? I'm not ready to be a Lola (grandmother)!
Me:  Thank you!! I'm glad at least we're on the same page here!
Nanay:  Besides....you should lose weight first or else you'll have a hard time....

*SIGH*

My 2010 Goals

My goals for 2010 are featured on The Novelista Barista!

Click on the picture to check out my goals and Jen's blog!

Yay! Blog love!

I'm also planning to do a little reflecting on my 2009 (which is possibly still affecting me right now and trying to make my 2010 a great one by working on a Goddess Guidebook.

 

I will probably be posting some reflections here, but mainly will be working things out on my *ahem* "Goddess" blog.

Here's to starting things right!

Travels: New Years

As 2009 turned into 2010, I was feeling hopeful, but I also knew that my vacation was nearing its end.

But I couldn't think of a better way to spend the transition than with my friends and family...in Los Angeles.

Here's two sights that would be part of my Los Angeles friends tour:

I know it's not the best quality....but yes, that's a tree that's been cut to look like a dog's head!

The famous Youngwood Court (aka The House of Davids)

You gotta love the Black Power Santa!

Celebrating
It's been at least 2 years since I've spent New Years with my family, but I wouldn't have had it any other way.

Happy New Year in my parents back yard

Lighting sparklers

Crazy lights

Mermaid tail?

C and V!

Starting 2010 at The Happiest Place on Earth
It's been years since I've been to Disneyland.  My boyfriend has only been to Tokyo Disney, which I've also been to and it completely pales in comparison.  This was also the first time for the both of us to go to California Adventure.

We arrived when Disneyland opened at 8am, and left the park at 11:30pm, a half hour before closing.

Walt and Mickey copycats

Aurora's/Sleeping Beauty's Castle

We were soaked! Thank goodness for a beautiful 70 degree day!

I kicked his butt...

 

Screaming...and laughing...and screaming...and laughing...

 

Cream cheese pretzels and Churros!!!

 

Jedi Training Academy is Ageist...My boyfriend so wanted to be chosen!

This kid was HILARIOUS!  He was so not listening to directions...

At California Adventure, on a "Hollywood Set"...I kept getting dizzy looking at the back drop!

 

Resting our feet on King Triton's Carousel 

 

Beautiful! But the ride was way too short!

Our footsies were exhausted!

Goodbye West Coast
We were so exhausted after Disneyland, but we still needed to pack.  Our flight was at 9:50am, but we knew that we needed to prepare for whatever LAX would be throwing our way.

Now, I'm sitting back in our living room, while the final Pats game is on.  The snow delayed our flight getting back, and there's still snow clouds hanging over the city.

It was great to sleep in our own bed.  But it's hard for me to not wish this was out my window instead.

Sunrise Over Downtown