Oh, Ya...I'm 29!

I am so super excited to be 29!!!

It means that my Saturn's Return is almost over, and newer and better things start to happen.  Though, I'd have to say it's still been pretty rough on me.

But I hear time and time again that turning 30 is pretty amazing.  This isn't to say that things still aren't difficult or challenging.  Apparently, however, it seems like one's attitudes about a lot of things just start to change.

Many of my peers are setting up their list of things to do before they turn 30, like traveling somewhere or building something or doing something crazy.

I have only 1 goal in mind.

I want to reach my Goal Weight of 145lbs.

Why 145lbs?  According to the CDC's BMI charts, that is the weight that would put me in the "normal" weight range based on my height.  It's right at the edge of being "normal" and "overweight".

Right now, as you'll see on my "Shedding Scales" page, I'm in the "obese" category, which both frustrates and scares me.

I feel like I've come a long away in the way my body looks, having built some more muscle.  And yet, the scale isn't budging too far.

Mermaid Parade's through the years...

But now, I'm determined.  I'm making some headway by really cutting down on my meal sizes and committing to bootcamp this month.

I've got a bit more than 60lbs left and less than a year.  I KNOW I can do this.

60lbs to 30!

A Part or In The Middle

So, I don't claim to be an expert on anything other than what I know about myself.  But even then, sometimes I have no idea.

I know the 20's is really a time to be learning more about who you are, making friends from all different parts of the world, and exploring different places.  It's about a lot of change and, hopefully, a lot of growth.  Now, this isn't to say that the rest of your life doesn't include any of those experiences.  But it sometimes feels like the 20's are more saturated with that, seeing that many of my friends who are older are a little more set in their ways.

More recently, however, I've felt more like isolating myself.

Home Is?
With the holidays upon me, I can't pretend that I don't get homesick.  But now the question is, what is home to me?

A good friend of mine recently moved back to the U.S, and he is a much wilder person than I could ever be.  His point of view of the whole thing is that "home" isn't a location, it's the people, so you can be at home anywhere.

This really made me think quite a bit.  I know that I feel at home here in Boston, but I also feel at home in Los Angeles.  The difference right now is that I also feel like a visitor in Los Angeles.  While L.A. is where my family and friends are, Boston is a place where I am also building a life.

Now, if "home" is the people, then it can also be fluid and it can also come to where you are.

Then, why is the impetus always on me to go back to Los Angeles?  Don't get me wrong.  I love L.A.  I love California.  I want to move back there eventually.  But for now, Boston is my home.

I guess money is part of the issue.  It costs more for people to visit me here because of plane tickets and possible hotels.  If I flew to California, I would most likely not have to pay for a hotel.

But there's just something about that that doesn't seem fair.  I like visitors just as much as the next person.

You can find me among the clouds,
drifting between spaces.

Where is the Heart?
In the past year, most of my travels home have been to spend time with family.  Though I wanted to see my friends as well, my family would take precedence. 

In my mind and memories, I've always considered myself extremely close to my family.  The fact that my parents have trusted me to stay in Boston means that they really love me and want me to experience a wide variety of things.  I love my siblings, and I have always encouraged them to explore the world and not get stuck in L.A.  I love my extended family, and though we are so varied and spread out throughout the world, I feel like they are part of what keeps me grounded.

However, I was always somewhat separated.

When I was younger, I was also the oldest of the Los Angeles cousins, older by 5 years.  When I was away at college, they were all still in middle and high school.  Now that I'm in Boston, they're all going through their late teens and early 20's.

On the other end, I'm also the youngest of the group when I consider my older cousins.  Many of them were getting married and having kids when I was in high school and college.

I do have a couple of cousins that are my age, but I didn't grow up with them he way I did with my younger family members.

But more recently, I've just felt so distant.

I don't feel like I'm part of the family.  I don't feel like I'm included in anything.  I feel like I'm last to hear about a lot of things.  Honestly, I feel like I'm being punished for having moved so far away on my own.

This holiday season will be the first time that I'm not going back to L.A. to be with family.  Because the boyfriend hasn't been able to see his family at all for more than a year, and I've been to L.A. 3 times this year, I wanted us to be able to spend time with his family as well.  Plus, with the kitties still young, we don't want to leave them alone for too long.

Now that my maternal grandmother passed earlier this year, I feel like there isn't necessarily a need to have family parties in our house anymore.  So, I know my parents and brother are going to San Francisco to be with my sister for Thanksgiving.  It's awesome that they all get to be together, and I'm sad to miss the experience.

But in the next year, it'd be nice if I got a visit.  From anyone.  Maybe because they're also homesick for me.

Moving On and Farewells

On the 23rd, I experienced my second 8th grade graduation.  This year, I had little involvement, whereas I helped to organize last year's graduation.

At last year's graduation, I realized how little appreciation was sent my way after all the help I gave.  Only the retiring Principal took the time to recognize my program's involvement in the 8th graders lives.  I couldn't hold back my, "Hells ya!" to my boss.

This year, as we saw that this other program that worked with the 8th grade was sitting on the stage along with the teachers, my boss and I rolled our eyes.  I joked that they were up there because they had certificates and prizes to give.  Considering that that program was talking about "what characteristics make a leader" with 8th graders, when I've been talking about that for 3 years with them already since the 6th grade, well...I have some feelings about that.

Moving On Ceremony

After the diplomas were given out, one of the students went to the podium to give out gifts to the teachers.  As they read out the names of the teachers, another student would give a potted plant to the teacher.  Suddenly, I hear, "Miss Cecilia" through the mic, and soon after they called my boss' name.  I was completely shocked that we were included in this list of people who they wanted to recognize.  I nearly started crying at the gift.

It's silly and petty, I know.  But I was starting to feel like all the work we've done there would go unrecognized.  It was truly a pleasant surprise.

With the 8th graders moved on, I felt ready to move on myself.  I knew that I had a couple of last things to finish up in the next two days, and I knew that I just had to buckle down and get it done before I closed the office door for the last time.

*****

On the 24th, I jumped right into our process evaluation.  I was so close to being done that I just wanted to push it out before the half-day on Friday.  Suddenly, I realized that I had one last project to finish off!  I almost forgot that our door was wide open, as I started to say things that were not so appropriate for the elementary school kids.  I promised one class an ice cream party, and I didn't have a single clue about what kind of ice cream they wanted nor had I planned what time to have the party.  Luckily, another teacher of theirs was planning a party at the end of the day, so I planned to join in.

As I ran back down to the office and got back on the computer, my boss and another clinician for another organization (and great friend of mine) were planning to meet about transferring clients.  The other clinician told me how exhausted he was, and if I wanted to grab some coffee with him really quick.  I just had coffee, so I told him that maybe we could just grab lunch.

Looking back, it didn't even occur to me how random it was that he wanted me to get coffee at the same minute that he was going to discuss clients with my boss.  But then he said that he'd really value my opinion, and I told him that I just wanted to keep working on my report.  He insisted that he would love to hear my opinion, so I said that I'd join in a second.  Again, I thought about how strange that was, but nothing even occurred to me.

Suddenly, my boss comes in asking if we have knives.  Now, being that we had so many family and kid events that featured food, we literally had a gallon bag of plastic knives.  I pointed to them, and she asked for my help really quick in a conference room.  At this point, I was getting a bit frustrated and thoroughly confused.  I joked with them, "What exactly are you guys going to do?  Get all stabby??"

Then I walked into the room, and there was a cake and a little finger food spread.  On the cake it said, "From the *school name (spelled wrong! Ha!)* Thank You Cecilia for Everything!"

I was speechless.  Then the tears came.  Then a memory book full of pictures, some of my first printed work, and quotes from kids and teachers was handed to me, and the tears came even more.  I couldn't believe what they managed to pull off!  Later, my boss tells me that it was so difficult to get messages from the kids as I was always around.  I congratulated her on managing to pull it off without me even remotely suspecting a thing.

Love that kids pick up on so much more than we think.

The messages were extremely heartfelt and sweet.  Some of them cracked me up.

Seeing that we talked about anti-violence, this just made me laugh.

And then there are the ones that just made me cry more.

:')

Apparently, my boss told me, the majority of kids told her, "Just tell her that we love her."  I mean, really, what more can you ask for from kids.

Several teachers and kids stopped by and wished me well, and soon I was able to finally compose myself and play hostess.  But really, I felt so overwhelmed with emotion...and still realizing that I needed to have that ice cream party.  Luckily, my boss helped to take care of that for me.

At the end of the day, I was full of cake and love, and I was still able to finish my report by staying a little bit later than usual.

*****

On the 25th, the focus of the day was to pack up and clean up.  I broke away for a bit to take pictures with and of some of the kids.  But for the most part, we were organizing and packing boxes.

The day really flew by.  We managed to put some things in storage, bring back some of my things (including the green office chair) to my apartment, have lunch, and load up my bosses car with the rest of the boxes (files, books, games, toys, office supplies).

I had already cried a bit on Thursday, so I tried to keep it together all day.  I also think we were so focused on our tasks that it was difficult to think of anything else.

As the boxes were packed completely into my bosses car, we did one last check of the room.  The coat hooks were removed, posters thrown away (except for a very special PRIDE poster still on the wall...mainly because we couldn't reach it...), file cabinet empty, keys returned, and door decorations gone.  The room was empty except for the furniture.

Before I closed the door, I turned back one last time to look at the office that I've known for the past 5 years.  I thought of all the kids I didn't see in the last couple of days, probably already on their vacations.  I thought of all the experiences of being in that office.

My boss drove me to my apartment, her last course of action as my boss.  She talked about all the times she's driven me home, after events, family groups, lugging heavy items.  She told me how much I've grown from being a social work intern.  I told her that I plan to keep in touch, joking that it's not very easy to get rid of me.

We chatted a bit longer, as I was consulting about tarot cards.  We hugged, and I tried so hard to keep it together.  "I'm going to miss you," she said right before hopping back into her car.  I nodded, saying how much I will miss working with her.  As I turned away, and walked up to hill to my apartment, I couldn't hold the tears in any more.  I sobbed all the way to my apartment.

She will forever be my first supervisor right out of grad school, and I don't know if I'll ever feel as connected with my future bosses as I did with her.  Aside from actual work, I talked with her about tarot cards, astrology, our families, alternative medicine, and paranormal activities.  We laughed about so many ridiculous things, and we cried (in our separate offices last summer) during the memorial for Michael Jackson (R.I.P.).  Our ideas bounced off each other, sometimes leading us into trouble as we would sometimes make more work for ourselves than necessary.  She can be extremely frustrating, don't get me wrong.  But at the end of the day, she was more than a boss to me.

I have been blessed.  She helped me understand that passion is something to never compromise on, because it will just lead me to struggles and possible failure.  It might be the end of an era, and I'm honestly still processing this all, but I will forever be thankful for these past 5 years.

Simple Pleasures - Wiring

Boston's MBTA Map

There's something about riding on the T that makes me feel so grown up.  Maybe it's just the feel of living on the East Coast, maybe it's just me.

I remember when I was in college, and exploring Santa Cruz with friends.  As we drove around in their cars, there was just this thrill.  It was the thrill of freedom.

How exciting to be doing things on my own.

That's the same feeling I get sometimes while riding the T.

And though there are times when I really dislike riding the T, like getting on there without my MP3 player/personal soundtrack to block out other people's extremely personal conversations, there are moments where I am just extremely happy.

In particular, when the T has stopped and the doors are open to let passengers enter and exit, there's a clicking you can hear when you're sitting in the front or far back of the train.  That clicking coincides with the blink of the yellow lights that signal that the trolley waiting, similar to the hazard lights of a car.

There's something about hearing the click and watching the light turn on and off that I really enjoy noticing.  I wish I could be more articulate in explaining it. 

But I think it's just interesting to find that connection between the clicking sound and its ultimate purpose of turning those yellow lights on and off.

Feeling Hopeful About 28

It is officially 10 years since I became a legal adult.

That's Birthday Cake on my face!
Get your mind out of the gutter... :P

On my 18th Birthday, I was so excited to have the right to vote...and to get my very first tattoo.  My friend and my boyfriend at the time went with me.  As I straddled the chair and the needle hit my skin, I couldn't believe the pain!

I tried my best to breath through it, and I kept thinking, "It's okay.  It's okay.  Pain is part of it.  It'll be AWESOME when it's over."

But, dude.  I couldn't stop the tears!  While the tears were partially from the pain, I was also extremely excited to be 18.  I thought about growing up, growing older, independence, and crossing this incredible American milestone.  I also thought about the fact that I was to be naturalized as a U.S. citizen in the next week.

I was excited to grow up.

Now looking back at the past 10 years, 18 was nothing.  And I'm sure that I'll be saying the same thing about 28 when I turn 38.  Everyone talks about how awesome it is to become an adult.  But no one tells you about all the trials and tribulations that are part of it.  Some things get really difficult.  You have to make a lot of choices on your own, and then live with it.

I've been saying, though, that I've been really excited about turning 28.  Perhaps because it is that 10 year mark from the beginning of "adulthood."  Perhaps it's because of 27 being such a difficult year.  But I'm definitely not scared of getting older.  I can't wait to see what this next year of life will bring my way!

For this post, I wanted to share with you all the things I've learned in the past 10 years while also sharing pictures from the past 2 days of birthday celebrations.  Let me preface this by saying that these are clearly just my own observations, and they are mainly lessons I've learned about myself.  You're more than welcome to disagree. :)

Drinks and Cupcake Wrappers

1.  We all carry some prejudices.  The problem occurs when people aren't willing to be open-minded about other opinions or at least learning about the other side a little bit.  I've always tried to learn as much as I can before forming an opinion, and even then I still leave more room for arguments.

Drag queens in mermaid outfits!!! LOVED it!

2.  If you take yourself too seriously, you deserve to be made fun of.  Period.

Sorry for the blurry picture...but you get the jist...I have an awesome hair-stache...

3.  Love is important.  But one shouldn't have to sacrifice themselves to get it.  Compromise is important.  But that's a personal judgment as well.

But I will never compromise on chocolate.

4.  I like rum.  I like tequila.  I like wine.  I like fruity beverages.  I don't often get hung over because I don't usually drink a ridiculous amount.  For a Pacific Islander/Asian, I can handle my alcohol fairly well.  That being said, splitting a bottle of tequila between 2 people is never a good idea.  Throwing up at a party just isn't fun.

Okay..so I cheated for this picture.  This was from October 2006. 
I was crying on the way home because I felt really bad for yacking at our friends house.

5.  Setting goals is a great idea.  But the world won't stop just because you need to accomplish something.  Be prepared for changes.

Singing "Heart of Glass" by Blondie.  I acquired 2 background dancers in the process.

6.  Just dance.  Even if you're a white guy.  You're having fun, and you're entertaining others.

Dancing at the Red Fez.  Belly dancers know how to have a good time.

7.  You get to decide how situations will play out.  If you go somewhere expecting a lame time, you will have a lame time.  If you go and make the situation fun, you will have fun.  Though, it doesn't hurt to have amazing people by your side.

I'm a little bummed I didn't get a whole group picture, but I was so happy to see all these folks and more!

8.  Being alone is a great experience.  We are all individuals in this ginormous universe.  While we get lucky and find people to share our time with, as humans are social animals, there's nothing like being secure in your oneness.

Enjoying the fruits of my cupcake labor.

9.  Life is too short to worry about your age!  It means diddly squat if you haven't learned from your mistakes, and regret just means you haven't learned a thing.  Everyone's experience is so different.  But what matters is what you take away from them.

Groovin'

10.  The Beatles said it best:  "In the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make."

Proof that 28 will be awesome.

A Letter to My 90 Year Old Grandmother

Dear Lola,

Your tribe loves you.

While I will miss you and your crazy antics, I think it's okay to let go and say goodbye.  It's okay.  The other side will be much warmer than this cold world, and you won't need your red blanket anymore.  You can have as much sugar or ice cream on your rice as you want.

Thank you for birthing your 12 babies.  Thank you for being a prime example of a strong powerful woman.  Thank you for all the rice & egg.  Thank you for the champurado on the weekends.  Thank you for all your hilarious moments.  Thank you for building an empire that is the Rodriguez Family.

Even when you pass, you will always be with us.

I love you, Lola.

Love, Cecile

Lola Representin'

Mermaid Collages: Past Thoughts and Future Hopes

The past couple of weeks have really involved a lot of introspection.  Much of which is currently sitting as drafts.

But, I'm feeling a need to re-evaluate a lot of my choices and decisions.  I've been looking back, thinking about all the things I've learned and all the lessons I still need to learn.

In the next year, I feel that there will be a lot of death in my life.  While the idea of my own death scares me a bit, I do believe that death is nothing more than change, much like the Tarot card interpretation.

Right now, I'm struggling with the death of my former self and all the memories that came with it.  I feel this need to honor the past so as not to forget the lessons, and I dislike the idea of regretting anything.  But perhaps my honoring of my past (and I'm really meaning my late teens and earlier part of my 20's) has led me to hold on to it more than I should.

Here's another Mermaid Collage from 2002 (I will retype the words on the page so you don't have to open another window and fight with my horrendous handwriting), and a 2-pager at that!

  So tired from all the wear and tear of everyday life...just needing one full night of sleep without waking to tasks that need to be done...

What is being sparkley?  Especially when so much has worn you down and sullied you...Is it someone else's glance?  The music they hear whenever they're near you?  Or is it what you make and believe in yourself?  Is it all your tears your laughter your dreams all rolled up into one?  Is it all the hard work that no one will ever recognize?  Or the ones that have affected that one person?

When lying in bed...laying in bed...what thoughts run through your body - ending at your brain...your mind...Devious thoughts...April Fools pranks at unsuspecting victims of your cruelty...What will I dream of tonight?  Being a mermaid...on her way to her prince...not so he can save her, mind you...cuz his car has broken down...What will I do tomorrow?  No...don't start...you'll just keep yourself awake with that kind of talk...stretch...breathe...Don't worry about those so-called friends...too worried about who's gonna supply their addiction...don't mind them...this is only temporary...you have a man who loves you so much - he already talks about your children...you have best friends that care for you so deeply - they count the days til your homecoming...Don't fret about all that sadness that wells up inside you...it's only homesickness...because you know how many hours-drive it is to see the love of your life...to see the happy smiles of yoru friends...Don't worry...you're not chemically imbalanced...depressed...bipolarl...ADD...dyslexic...suicidal thoughts...sometimes hearing voices...screaming!  Screaming the answers!  But I have none...not until my last breath will I have the answers...For now, I'll just sleep off this feeling...and wait to see what tomorrow will bring...

Time to wake up.

Embracing My Own Pace - "Friend M"

 

"Friend M"

"As I think about the conversations I've had with my parents about marriage and babies, I think the bottom line is that my parents want a grandchild.  It seems like they want a grandchild more than wanting me to get married.

"They've told me that they'll take care of my kids while I work, which is nice, but...I'm so not ready.  I'm sure when I find that special someone, marriage will fall together naturally.  I feel like I need to be financially and emotionally stable to actually "settle down" for marriage and kids.

"It's been two years since I've lived away from home.  I can hardly take care of myself and there are more things that I want to do in my career. And to be quite honest, I enjoy living on my own right now.

"But don't get me wrong, I want to get married eventually and have that dream wedding that people are always dreaming about!  I plan to dance down the aisle with my dad instead of walk down the aisle, and I too have picked out names for future babies! (LOL!) But I'm just not quite ready to settle down yet."

Some Background On M's Parents:

"They were never really the typical conservative Asian parents that all the other Asian kids talk about.  In elementary school, they focused on grades.  But after seeing how bad I did in middle school, they gave up and were like, 'Just let her be! She'll figure something out.'

"So after elementary school, there was no pressure to do well in school, no pressure to become a doctor or a lawyer.  They always encouraged me to do what I wanted and they told me that they'll support me in whatever I do, so in turn, I knew that they trusted me and would support me and to that I'm so grateful."

Random Collection of Conversations:

1 - With Dad.

"Last Father's Day, my dad was telling me about a friend of his who just had his first grandchild.  I jokingly said to him, 'Uh oh, that means, I should start having kids, huh daddy?'  I expected him to say, 'No, no, you keep working and doing what you want.'  But instead, he said (as he laughed), 'Yeah, you should hurry up! Definitely before you're 30!'

Here's how the conversation went:

Dad:  So, how are things going? Are you seeing anyone interesting?

Me:  No, if I were seeing someone, you would definitely know!

Dad:  You're going to be 30 soon...

Me:  (Whoa, wtf?! Wait a minute!) I have 2 more years before I turn 30! Well, techinically 3!

Dad:  No, you ONLY have two more years!"

Me:  Then daddy, PRAY that I find a guy like Akira from EXILE (this popstar that I love)

Dad:  (laughs hysterically) That's never going to happen!

Akira at a movie premiere

2 - With Mom.
"My mom, on the other hand is like, 'Don't listen to to your dad! I had you when I was 32!'   She would always say that I too would be getting married late in life like her.  But she does drop hints that parents love taking care of their grandchildren.

"Once I had a conversation with my mom over the phone about how she would feel if I came back home from Japan pregnant and unmarried.  Would she freak?!

"She answered, 'M, being a single mom is very tough, it would be better if you were married because raising a kid on your own is hard--but if that happens, daddy and I will help you.'

"To be honest, I was kinda surprised to hear that, but I think it comes from her not being conservative (sometimes I think I'm a bit more conservative than my parents!).

"It could also be because my cousin in Japan knocked up his girlfriend, got married, and my mom's older brother LOVES his granddaughter and that's influencing her.  And nowadays in Japan, it's not surprising to see people getting married after they find out they're expecting.  Times are changing.

"Two weeks ago, I was on the phone with my mom and she expressed that she would be shocked to find out if I was going out with someone (What?! I'm so confused!)."

Mom:  To be honest, I think I'd be shocked when the day comes when you tell us that you have a boyfriend.

Me:  Why?! I would think you and Daddy would be happy to hear that I FINALLY have a boyfriend after all this talk about not having a boyfriend for 27 years! (Gasp! I know...)

Mom:  Well...

Me:  Is it because you think I would love him more than you guys?

Mom:  (long pause) Yes, we'd be sad that you've found someone that would mean more to you than your parents, like we've been replaced...

Me:  Oh Mommy! I'm still going to love you the same way! (jokingly) Do you expect me to never get married and grow old with you guys?!

Mom:  Well...yes...(serious tone)

Me:  What?!

Mom:  Well..that would be an option.

Me:  Wha?! I eventually want kids you know!

Mom:  Yeah, I know, you can always dump the guy if things don't work out between you two - daddy and I will help you out. Every parent would love to take care of their grandchild...

Me:  (laughs) I'm going to get knocked up then!

Mom:  (laughs) Be safe!

Me:  Wha?!

"So, that means I have my mom's approval to get knocked up!

"I proceeded to tell her I had a baby daddy in mind.  She retorted, 'Akira from EXILE huh?! I give up! M, listen, you're never going to get married and have kids if you're too busy obsessing over a popstar!'

Akira in EXILE's LOVE album

"My mom might be right - I am too busy obsessing over the popstar I love.  So I'm beginning to think they have a valid reason for being a bit worried!  But that doesn't change the fact that I'm still not ready."

J-Pop Star also means Movie Star.  Akira in "Yamagata Scream"

*********************************

Thank you "Friend M" for contributing your story!

If you'd like to share your story, check out the "embracing my own pace" section on the right-hand sidebar for details!

Shoulda shoulda shoulda

I guess I couldn't have left Los Angeles without getting at least one comment on either my weight or my lack of husband and children.

For a good part of my 20's, I escaped the husband and children lecture.  Clearly, since I was still in school, I needed to focus on that instead.  The weight issue is another story.

I'm Filipino.  I was taught to finish all my food because of those goddamned kids in China and Africa (even though we also came from a third-world country).  Holidays are tables fool of food (as you can see from my Christmas post) and eating the whole night.  Yes, I played outside instead of watching TV for the most part (in fact, I did not grow up watching Saved By The Bell like so many of my friends).

So, I still got chubby.  It probably didn't help that after swimming class at the YMCA, we would go to McDonald's.  It also probably didn't help that when I was around 5 or 6, I thought I needed to weigh 50 or 60 pounds, and that a 0 would be tacked onto my age as I got older.  Weird, I know.  I learned quickly that that wasn't true.  I don't weigh 270 lbs.

And while the doctors would lecture me about my weight, I was still okay with myself.  Then I started going home to visit for the holidays.  My paternal grandmother, whom I love but scares me a little, starts grabbing at my arms, "You should lose weight!  You'd be pretty if you did!"

Yikes.  I started avoided visiting her because of the comments and the arm grabbing.

My mom was another culprit.  Not a visit would go by without a comment on my weight - at least within the first 24 hours.  She would then follow her comment by saying that it's still healthy that I had fat on my body, and I would be regarded as wealthy in the Philippines.

In the past couple of years, I started getting more serious about my weight.  I joined an expensive gym, do workout DVDs at home, started counting my calories.  I lost maybe 10 lbs.  Then I started focusing more on eating more vegetables and got into riding my bike to and from work.  I lost another 10 lbs.

Still nowhere near where I'd like to be, but I'm only really unhappy with my body around my family and when I get on the scale.

But this past vacation, I almost didn't hear anything about my weight.  Almost.

nom nom nom

It's only been recently, since I've finished school, that I've gotten comments about getting married and having a family.  My maternal grandmother is the one pushing this topic this time.

The general gist is that I need to hurry up and have kids because I'm getting older.  But, now I'm getting it from my aunts and uncles on my maternal side as well.  Just when I think I was going to survive another holiday without getting lectured....well...2 days before I left for Boston, it happened.

 mickeyandminnie.tumblr.com

With that, I now present to you the dialogue between my family and me at around 11:30pm on New Years Eve.

Tito E:  You know, you should have babies now.
Me:  WHAT?? Oh my god...I'm soooo not there right now!  I'm still a baby myself!
Tito E:  Well, the older you get the harder it will be to have kids.  So you should hurry up.
Me:  But what about all my other cousins?  Are you saying the same to them?  They're older than me!
Tito E:  Well, you have a partner.
Tita B:  Yes...you already have a boyfriend.
Me:  I'm so not ready to have a family right now.
Tito E:  Well, as long as you have kids before you're 35.
Nanay (my mom):  Hah?? I'm not ready to be a Lola (grandmother)!
Me:  Thank you!! I'm glad at least we're on the same page here!
Nanay:  Besides....you should lose weight first or else you'll have a hard time....

*SIGH*