30!!! 30!!! 30!!!

Remember those quizzes in the magazines?  The ones that would be like personality tests?  They would tell you what kind of friend/lover you would be or what kind of career you would be good at.

I feel like almost every one of them asked whether you would rather have love or money.

I always always always chose love.  Love over money any day.  I chose it then, and I would still choose it now.

I realized the other day that I am certainly living that. 

In my 30 years of living on this earth, I've managed to surround myself with love.  From my unconditionally loving Yoni, to my eternally supportive friends, to my ever-growing family.  Even my acquaintances, lovers, and admirers have been a source of love and learning.  And that love stretches across the country, across continents. 

When I was in high school, I remember making a vow that I would not regret any decision I make or experiences that I have.  Regret is detrimental to growth.  Instead, I would choose to learn from my mistakes and experiences that are out of my control.  I'm constantly looking for lessons in order to make me a better, more well-rounded, more loving person.

Don't get me wrong.  I've still got a lot to work on.  There are still people I know that I would rather not deal with, who I know just make me angry or frustrated or even a little violent.  Nor have I reached the pinnacle of my career, because I am still figuring out the how's of all that.  I'm not at all saying that I've learned everything there is to learn.

But what I've always said about getting older, why I've always looked forward to turning older, is that there are more opportunities for new experiences that are open to me and I get to utilize all the lessons learned from my youth.  It's like I'm handed magical glasses that let me see things differently, because I'm older and wiser.

I am so excited for the next phase of my life.  For all the new experiences, which get to ride on the back of my first 30 years of life.  For all new new people, who I will learn new ways of looking at things. 

For all the old love that will carry me through and the new love that will encourage me forward.

I am forever blessed to be in this life.

Happy Birthday to Me.

1 Til 30 - Last Day of 29

It's the final countdown!!!

2 Til 30 - Party Rocking

Another successful 29 year old evening

3 Til 30 - Vagina Monologues Opening Night

The Vagina Monologues premiered tonight.  It was our opening night.

This is the first time I've ever done anything like this.  I've danced on the stage, I've played an instrument on the stage.  But never have I ever done any acting or speaking on the stage.  Until now.

I mean, I've done public speaking things.  I've done presentations.  Perhaps stage acting isn't too far of a reach.

It was certainly easy to be part of a production of the Vagina Monologues because I believe in the mission of V-Day.

What was weird was that I didn't actually get nervous until we were just about to step on the stage.  I knew that I had so many people who were in the audience for me.  More than anything, I wanted to make them proud.

Make-up done, jewelry on, ready to rock!

There was only 1 time when I feel like I missed a cue, but it was so slight that I don't think anyone noticed.  Phew!

But it was amazing to see all my beautiful friends after the performance!  Friends from school, friends from different work worlds, friends from bootcamp.  I can't even begin to describe how blessed I felt.  Truly blessed.  Truly loved.

smooched after a fun night out

And truly proud of myself for being part of this!  Who knew that I had this in me?  I had so many friends who were part of the acting world.  I mean, I don't know if I'll be pursuing any other productions, but to be a part of this is amazing. 

4 Til 30 - Toesies of the Month - April 2012

Can I just take a step back for a second and talk about 2 things?

My 30th birthday is quickly approaching!!! The last days of my 20's are going to go by in a rushed blur, I'm sure. 

AND...it's possibly going to rain on my birthday!!!! WHY??? I hope it's not as bad as they're predicting, but I'm actually a little bummed about it.

I'm in a production of the Vagina Monologues which is premiering this weekend.  So, that has been taking the bulk of my time.  I feel like this weekend will go by in a flash, and next think you know it'll be my birthday.

I'm excited.  But for perhaps the first time, I'm also nervous.

I've already gotten to do so much in my final month of being in my 20's.  But before I go on and wax poetic, mainly because I want to reserve that for my actual birthday date, let's focus on the now, shall we?

In preparation for the Vagina Monologues, I knew I needed to get my nail did.

Luckily, I had the opportunity to go after work the night before the premiere, and I got to relax instead of feeling incredibly rushed.

This week has also been April Vacation Week for the Boston Public Schools.  The kids (mainly 2 kids in particular) have been driving me crazy.

I NEEDED SPA TIME.

Design time!

Designed at Nails 2000, Jamaica Plain, MA
Color: Sephora by OPI - 212
Occasion: Vagina Monologues
April 2012

I also ended up getting a manicure.  Having done some performances on the stage as a belly dancer, I know that I can't be on the stage without tons of makeup and my nails done.  It was only natural that I had to do this as well.

Alas, I now have to go and pack for the rest of my day.  The idea of this is exciting and worrisome.  I definitely don't want to forget anything.  But I have to pack for bootcamp, after school, and the Vagina Monologues. 

My initial thought is, "How the hell am I going to get away with this?  I've looked like a serious bag lady all week, and it's going to be worse tomorrow."

But then I sit back and realize that I've been pretty much rocking this entire week, as difficult and exhausting as it's been.  And I know I'm going to rock Friday as well, because...well...that's how I do.

5 Til 30 - Franklin Park Zoo

This wasn't a trip that I necessarily wanted to go on during the April Vacation week.  What I really wanted was to go to the New England Aquarium. 

But I was lucky enough to get both.

Here are some of the animal highlights from my trip to the Zoo.

little show off :)

peek-a-boo with a prairie dog

Christopher the Lion was very talkative

Baby Gorilla!

Such a cutie!

Don't you want to nap with the Pygmy Hippo???
I mean...if it wasn't possibly dangerous...

Mandrill...just chillin' in his hammock...

The only animal I was sad not to see was the giraffe.  I'm not entirely sure why the giraffe wasn't about.  But it was a fun trip that tired my poor toesies out. 

It's a fairly decent zoo for being a relatively small zoo.  It would be nice to visit during the summer when more of the exhibits and animals are around.

6 Til 30 - "Too Old For This"

The phrase "I'm too old for this" popped into my head today.

It was in reference to one of the kids in the after school having a tantrum.  Boy!  Do I have a hard time dealing with little kid tantrums.  I actually just don't have the patience for unreasonable behavior.

I know...I know...it's just a kid.  But you know, if only 1 child acts like that...I refuse to be another person in their life who just lets it happen.  Luckily, I know that my co-group leader feels the same way.

When this thought popped into my head, it did make me think some more about the direction of my life.  I just can't be at the after school, and not using my MSW nor gaining new skills. 

I have to add that not only am I too old for this, but I've worked too hard just to be where I am right now.

With the extra time I'm going to have on my hands in the next upcoming months before the summer program kicks in, I'm going to try to refocus on some of the things I would like to accomplish in my 30's - like traveling more and working on a business plan.

7 Til 30 - Inked: and in the End...

As I had planned several years ago, I wanted to get a tattoo for my 30th birthday.

This past weekend just seemed to be the right time to do it.

So, I did it!

and in the End, the Love you Take
is Equal to the Love you Make

It's always funny how tattoo artists seem to think that all tattoos should face outward so that others could read it easily.  But it's my tattoo.  I had my reasons for doing it the way I did it, as I mentioned in one of the links above.

Holy smokes, did it hurt like crazy!!!  And it hurt where I didn't expect it to hurt!  I thought it might hurt closer to the bone, but it hurt quite a bit right in the middle of my inner wrist. I just tried to think of how awesome it would look when it was done.

I will definitely have more pictures of it when it's all fully healed.  It still feels really new to me.  Aside from the still tender skin, just knowing that I've finally reached a point when I feel like I deserve to make this statement feels amazing.

It's really been a tough Saturn's Return.  I am by no means done learning and exploring and making mistakes.  I know I still have yet to feel completely comfortable in my skin.  I still have yet to feel like I can take serious risks without fear of failing.

But I want this tattoo to be a constant reminder of constantly putting out more positive thoughts.  There's a give and a take.  And hopefully more love.

8 Til 30 - Part 2 - Karaoke

How could I not have a birthday celebration that involved karaoke?  Let's be serious.

I love that my friends also know how to celebrate birthdays, especially in outwardly silly ways.  Like with party hats.

What's a party without party hats?

There was a lot of really getting into the music...

that apparently meant getting down on one's knees.

The funniest thing is this:
As the night wore on,I managed to collect more and more accessories for my head.

First it was just party hats.

Then I got a hold of a sequined fedora...

then these ridiculous and
non-functional glasses...

and finally this horrifyingly uncomfortable 'stache.

That 'stache didn't stay on for more than a 30 seconds.  But I found it really funny looking back at the pictures the next day.

There were a lot of amazing songs sung that night.  A great variety ranging from George Michael to Rage Against the Machine.  I was bummed that not as many people could make this part of the celebration.  But the people who were there made it such a fun night filled with great songs and sing-alongs!

8 Til 30 - Part 1 - New England Aquarium

I've been wanting to go to the Aquarium for such a long time.  I just haven't had the chance to go or others have been too busy to join me.  So, I decided to make it part of my birthday month celebrations!

The day was full of activity, but it was so much fun.  All I really want for my birthday is to spend my time with all my friends, doing things I consider as really fun.  It's amazing, though, how busy everyone is.  I feel like I had to pack in a ton of activities or else no one would be able to come to anything.

But I had 3 awesome people join me at the Aquarium.  Begin the photo dump!

looking cute for a warm New England day

Harbor Seals in the ticket area

another Harbor Seal pretending to be a rock

Seal scratching his bum

how cute that the seals like playing with hoses!

Penguins being fed

penguin: "are you lookin' at me?"

sea horsies!!!

sea dragon disguised as seaweed

sea horse chillin'

sea anemones are so much easier to type than to say

tide pool

picking up starfishies

my favorite part of the aquarium is the HUGE tube in the middle

turtle! duuuude!

aquarium + awesome friends = happy place

the new shark and stingray touch tank!

they're so silky smooth and soft!

it's really cool how friendly they were

of course I had to see the jellies!

they're so creepy but so beautiful

moon jellyfishies

these were like cauliflower!

aliens!

I really have to make a point of going the aquarium more often.  There's something so soothing about being around all the ocean creatures.  Of course, being a mermaid, I needed to commune with my fellow deep sea creatures for my birthday.  I couldn't imagine not having a connection with these beings or with the ocean.